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Profile for ExactlyHowLongDoIHaveToBeHere:
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there's a kitten in there somewhere

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Best answers to questions:

» Losing Your Virginity

ouch.
14.

on a tube during rush hour with second ever girlf going back to her place. one of those loud, enthusiastic, mum will never approve types....

anyway... packed tube. naturally we are very much in each other's personal space (along with everyone else on the tube) having a bit of a teenage snog. she suddenly pipes up, possibly a bit too loudly for a 14yr old who ideally should be at school:

"Are you a virgin?"...

cue red-faced emabrassment, I meekly answered yes...

"Don't worry I'll break you in".

cue more red-faced embarassment, and looks of pure envy from most of the male commuters.... was too embarassed to look at the female ones.

anyway. never lost my cherry that day. did I mention she was a bit enthusiastic... well never let a very enthusiastic inexperienced 14 year old wank you off.

blood everywhere.

then the mum walks in.

anyway.... time goes on. certain appendages heal up... I do finally get my cherry popped.

so summer holidays. at her family farm place in the sticks... she's giving me first ever blow job.

in walks her gran.

30mins later I'm on a train home.
(Mon 7th Mar 2005, 13:02, More)

» Insults

custard
half way between a cunt and a bastard.
(Sun 7th Oct 2007, 14:55, More)


» Council Cunts

not hackney, but bloody Islington
just bought my first home.

turn up at islington parking office with just about every piece of paper with evidence that I had just bought the damn place... ie mortgage forms, leasehold contract, registry docs the works.

can I get a temp permit while I unload my van?

can I fuck. I need a 'utility bill'.

did I get a ticket?

of course I did.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 16:29, More)

» Going Too Far

hijacked a plane
... was racing another one... unfortunatley we both went to far/fast and crashed into a building.


did I take that too far?
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 14:36, More)
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