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Profile for Cactus 1:
Profile Info:

Something about me... Well, I work in the PR industry and get paid to look at websites written in funny foreign languages. I live in Surrey in a state of permanent chaos caused by pets, wife and far more children then was sensible.

I have no arty skills which is why I shun the main board.

If you feel you need to email me, do so at eddie underscore ASP atthing hotmail dot com. But I check that less often than I call my parents so don't hold your breath.

Come and taste my plums!
My plums are ripe and pleasant!
I grew my plums my self
Like some proley fucking peasant.

Your Penis Name Is...

Shag Stick

Penis Name Generator

The contents of this profile are intended only for the addressee and may contain confidential and/or privileged material. If you are not the intended recipient, please fuck off.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» The most cash I've ever carried

When I was about 18
I was asked to pay 20,000 in cash to a person I had never met before by my brother in law to "sort out" a property transaction.

God knows why, but I agreed to do it. As I handed over the dosh, a thought struck me... what if this is a con?

Quick as a flash I decided to ask the guy to sign a receipt for the cash. He was not happy, but eventually agreed so I frantically hunted down some paper and a pen. The best I could do was the back of a phone bill and a red felt tip pen.

Having got the signature, I headed off feeling pleased with myself. It wasn't until I told my B.I.L. about it that I looked at the signature.

Mr T. Watt

The deal went through fine despite me.
(Thu 22nd Jun 2006, 20:08, More)

» Toilets

Morroco again
I stayed at a Youth Hostel in some god forsaken town. The hole in the floor loo was the deluxe version in that it was positioned directly below the shower.

If you went for a shit, the foot holds would be wet with water from the shower.

If you went for a shower your bare feet would be next to the stinking hole.

God help you if you dropped the soap.
(Fri 2nd Sep 2005, 14:14, More)

» Real Life Slapstick II

A guy I was at school with had to have stitches in his arm after being stabbed with a Twiglet.

We were having a Twiglet dueling session (as you do when you're a bored 15 year old with Twiglets) and while most of our attempts at stabbing ended in broken Twiglet shame, one person managed a side on Twiglet lunge which caused quite a gash.

Not really slapstick but it's the best I can do.
(Sun 5th Oct 2014, 20:46, More)

» Posh

I'm so posh
that I use a knife & fork to eat my kebab.

And I have a bath once a month.

And my pet rottweiller is called Camilla.

And my seven children all live away from me (OK, at a borstal not a boarding school but it's a start).
(Fri 16th Sep 2005, 10:54, More)