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» Babysitters

Young Master number5 ...
...decided that walking into the room to meet his new babysitter would be best received if he were trouserless with a significant erection and speaking the words : "Look, I can make it go all stiff!"

Downhill all the way from there.

He is older now and won't recall the above but I am saving this story for his wedding day.
(Thu 28th Oct 2010, 14:26, More)

» Crappy relationships

Not me but...
A family member complained to the folk living in the flat above them that their noisy daytime romps were playing havoc with her sleep (shift worker). The husband chose that moment to explain..."but I'm not home during the day!"

The same could not be said for his wife. I believe that may have triggered some relationship issues.
(Mon 25th Oct 2010, 18:12, More)

» The Police II

Polite and sensible policewoman in reasonable behaviour shock.
We were several sheets to the wind. It was 2 in the morning. We were bored. The milk crate dolly cart looked absolutely ideal for a bit of impromptu street go kart action.

She watched us race up the street. She watched us race back down. She approached the group of four pissed up blokes all by herself and told us "Yes the racing was very impressive" but that it was time to "sober up, grow up and go home". She was right. We did.
(Thu 5th May 2011, 19:02, More)

» Bedroom Disasters

Not quite in the bedroom
but in the hotel corridor outside as we arrived tired, sweaty and grumpy after a long journey. Young Master 5 asks if he can use the keycard to open the door. 'Sure, why not?' we said. 'Because I will drop the feckin thing on to my foot and kick it with impeccable precision for a six year old under the door and then you will need to trudge downstairs to the reception and explain in your broken and pathetic attempts at 'foreign' what has happened to the original before coming all the way back up here whilst we stand in a hotel corridor looking like muppets' was not what he said, unfortunately.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2011, 16:42, More)

» Overheard secrets

Pea ( I think it fits the QOTW but feel free to berate me in the usual fashion if not)
Not me but...
A family member complained to the folk living in the flat above them that their noisy daytime romps were playing havoc with her sleep (shift worker). The husband chose that moment to explain..."but I'm not home during the day!"

The same could not be said for his wife. I believe that may have triggered some relationship issues.
(Thu 25th Aug 2011, 16:32, More)
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