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quick and dirty

(Sun 1st Oct 2006, 16:44, More)

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» My Worst Date

little girl, big sushi
The worst date I've ever been on involved a really cute, really, really petite girl, and a sushi bar. Said girl called me up one evening, and asked if I'd had dinner. I said that I hadn't, and we went out for sushi.
Sushi arrives, we start eating, and I notice that rather than eating one piece all at once--which is the only way I've ever seen people eat sushi--my date is using her chopsticks to turn each piece into mush, and then nibbling on the dime-sized remnants.
I ask if she's ever eaten sushi before and she says no. Well, I say, you should all-at-once-it, like this, and I pick up a piece, and chow it down.
My date then attempts this procedure. Disaster.
She struggles to fit the whole piece in her mouth, and when she finally does, she gags on it, covers her mouth with her napkin, runs to the bathroom, and doesn't come back for at least fifteen minutes.
She sat back down and apologized, saying how embarassed she was, and that she couldn't believe she couldn't fit a non-mushed piece of sushi in her mouth all at once.
I assured her that it wasn't a big deal, even though I did spend the rest of the date shamelessly wondering how embarassed I'd be if we'd discovered this particular uniqueness of hers under more intimate circumstances.
(Fri 22nd Oct 2004, 21:54, More)

» Asking people out

little girl, big sushi
i posted this years ago in the 'worst date' thread...

The worst date I've ever been on involved a really cute, really, really petite girl, and a sushi bar. Said girl called me up one evening, and asked if I'd had dinner. I said that I hadn't, and we went out for sushi.
Sushi arrives, we start eating, and I notice that rather than eating one piece all at once--which is the only way I've ever seen people eat sushi--my date is using her chopsticks to turn each piece into mush, and then nibbling on the dime-sized remnants.
I ask if she's ever eaten sushi before and she says no. Well, I say, you should all-at-once-it, like this, and I pick up a piece, and chow it down.
My date then attempts this procedure. Disaster.
She struggles to fit the whole piece in her mouth, and when she finally does, she gags on it, covers her mouth with her napkin, runs to the bathroom, and doesn't come back for at least fifteen minutes.
She sat back down and apologized, saying how embarassed she was, and that she couldn't believe she couldn't fit a non-mushed piece of sushi in her mouth all at once.
I assured her that it wasn't a big deal, even though I did spend the rest of the date shamelessly wondering how embarassed I'd be if we'd discovered this particular uniqueness of hers under more intimate circumstances.
(Wed 16th Dec 2009, 4:06, More)

» Stories of unsurpassed brilliance

patty time
one of my preferred burger places offers a variety of burger sizes.
(1/3 lb, 1/2 lb, 2/3 lb, 1 lb)

recently:
---
"i'd like a 1 lb bacon cheeseburger"
"do you know how big that is?!?"
---
(Mon 21st Nov 2016, 19:50, More)

» Useless Information

consonants to vowels ratio
with all the wordplay, i thought this was appropriate; a friend told me that the english word with the highest ratio of consonants to vowels (8 to 1) is 'strengths'.
(Sat 19th Mar 2005, 23:05, More)