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Tesco just delivered my weekly shop
Like 20 bags of stuff, but the poor bloke's got to carry it up 5 floors since we don't have a lift. He's a pensioner; I'm scared he's going to die considering the colour he's turning.

What do you want to do when you retire?
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:46, Reply)
heroin

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:47, Reply)

i

Pots and pans
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, Reply)
fart into a hooker's mouth

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:49, Reply)
You could always help him, you murderer!
OG GANGSTA

I'd like to retire in a bungalow by the sea.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Don't know about Poland
but over here you're not allowed to help. Health & Saftey gone mad, etc
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, Reply)
I think they're fair game once you get the crates off the street.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:56, Reply)
I'd be willing to bet that once they get to your front door, you can do what you like
but really, a Tesco representative would be better placed to answer this
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
hi I represent Tesco, how can I help?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:06, Reply)
Would you like to get a coffee sometime?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:09, Reply)
my mum says I'm not allowed to date customers

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:13, Reply)
what about if it's purely sexual?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:40, Reply)
well I suppose as long as there is no coffee or anything else involved, that would be ok

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:44, Reply)
aren't you? how silly
the steps to my front door are quite treacherous but by the time i know they're here, all the crates have been brought up so i've never offered to help.
also, i'm a bastard
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
I offered to help when I lived in a third floor flat
but they always said that I'm not allowed. Maybe I looked like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, Reply)
you still do a bit

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, Reply)
oh no doubt

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:08, Reply)
you look like Peppa Pig's dad tbh

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:08, Reply)
fuck you

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:09, Reply)
the voice actor for peppa pig's dad
is the guy who gets force-fed an egg in Who Framed Roger Rabbit
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:15, Reply)

Peppa Windy
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:14, Reply)

pig's dad miller
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:37, Reply)
Does that mean by extension he also looks a bit like Dr Marvin Monroe?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:00, Reply)
Well at least that must save money on father's day cards

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:05, Reply)
i was born in a bungalow by the sea
am i living my life backwards?
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, Reply)
Benjamin buttolith
Loll, butt
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, Reply)

am i living my life backwards? spongebob square pants!
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
so it's come to this...
i'm clicking like on a monster munch post

truly all hope is lost
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, Reply)
If it's any consolation,
you made me think of the theme song to Spongebob Squarepants, so I'm certainly suffering the most horrendous ear-worm.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, Reply)
i'm surprised/disappointed that nobody tried to do the second line

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:41, Reply)
So you're wanting to end your life on a shitty council estate?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:18, Reply)
not wanting, just seems inevitable

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:37, Reply)
I'd like to go and live in a British enclave on the Spanish coast.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:50, Reply)
As little as possible.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:51, Reply)
yeah I certainly don't want to have to deal with the same level of childcare that my parents have to put up with

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:53, Reply)
I can easily envisage any number of my children never leaving home,
ensuring that I'll have to be very involved in their children's lives.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:55, Reply)
You're not really selling this 'having kids' thing to me.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, Reply)
I'm not your wife.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, Reply)
would have been a great twist if you were

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/8059319
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Have a nice sit down.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:52, Reply)
depends what the retirement age is in 30-40 years time

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:57, Reply)
perhaps we'll all have been automated out of jobs.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, Reply)
now there is your best chance of a Marxian revolution, when the middle classes all lose their jobs
but unfortunately by then a life that isn't based on neoliberal individualism will be out of living memory and everyone will be too busy looking after their own patch of nothing to join forces with those other people
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:02, Reply)
plus I'm pretty certain that they are holding back the legalisation of cannabis as their trump card
young unemployed males in the US with access to videogames and marijuana report unprecedented levels of personal happiness, they ain't ever going to rise up
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:04, Reply)
120 probably

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Fuck.

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
I know
it's going to be rough
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, Reply)
I think people our age will have to admit that state pensions won't exist in 40 years time

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
I can't understand what you'd want to be 90 and all sorts of fucked up.
Stupid human survival instinct
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:01, Reply)
i'll probably just freeze to death after running out of bills to burn then

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:03, Reply)
but what about all that luxurious fur you have?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:05, Reply)
it'll all fall out due to the radiation poisoning

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:40, Reply)
what are you going to do with 20 bags of cabbages anyway?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Poland is a modern country now
we don't eat cabbage. It serves as toilet paper.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:00, Reply)
I like cabbage.
Preferably unused, though.
Turns out, I like kale, too.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:06, Reply)
+Peter
l y
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:10, Reply)
+y cuoco's bumhole

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:12, Reply)
Pretty impressed that they deliver to Poland

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:14, Reply)
This was filmed at my local Tesco
www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mYpzNFG6y0
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:18, Reply)
Drive thru

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Jesteście sławni!

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:28, Reply)
right leaving 4eva 'cause of this

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:29, Reply)
Are you trying to say "You are famous?"
because even without the diacritics, you fucked it up
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:34, Reply)
I thought it was Polish for "I am having a violent coughing fit."

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:41, Reply)
coincidentally I have been having violent coughing fits
might be cancer
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:58, Reply)
dunno I just copied and pasted one of the comments from your link
anyway, I've left forever now
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:42, Reply)
Jestes = you are (singular)
Jestescie = you are (plural, to a group of people).

I'm just me.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:46, Reply)

Bo kto ci zapamita naklejk z szyby jak wbili do rodka tym bardziej wtpie eby na kamerach szo j odczyta ...
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:57, Reply)
errr, that's deleted a large number of letters
but it's referring to the fact that cars here have the reg number as a holographic sticker on the windscreen, so although they removed the plates on the car, a well-placed CCTV camera might still have caught their identity.
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, Reply)

kto ci zapamita naklejk z szyby jak wbili do rodka tym bardziej wtpie eby na kamerach szo j odczyta selecta
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, Reply)

J T
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:01, Reply)
JESTICLES
lol
(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:05, Reply)
Is this a Polish blues brothers remake?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:54, Reply)
Sit around for a bit then go up the pub

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:34, Reply)
Beatbox in the nude

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 14:53, Reply)
as god intended?

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:05, Reply)
thug lyfe

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:14, Reply)
killing spree

(, Mon 20 Mar 2017, 15:19, Reply)