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it's wet here
is it wet there?
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:12, archived)
Dunno, my blind is drawn.

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:13, archived)
buy a real one, you ming, don't just draw one

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)
Gone the pub, it's blue skies here.

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:05, archived)
all i got is blue hair

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:10, archived)
Alright 'Marge'

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)
i was bored. it cost a quid.
turns out i like it.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:34, archived)
My grunge mate said he used to die his hair with ice poles back in the day.
By the time I met him he was as bald as a coot so I can't confirm.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:36, archived)
i've never had blue hair before
had black, red, brown, green, purple, orange, blonde, white and striped, but not blue
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:48, archived)
back in the day
there used to be a monster that had ice poles for hair, and if she looked at you you'd turn into a curly wurly, but someone held up a mirror and she turned into a bubblegum flavoured curly wurly
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:15, archived)
Is this an Adventure Time reference?

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:35, archived)

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:36, archived)
yeah alright 'noel fielding'

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:12, archived)

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:19, archived)

One of your all time great lyrics apart from all of Stay Another Day (4) is "outside is raining, but inside is wet" from Steam. What is it about?
[Laughs] Well... It's, er...
Is it rude Tony?
It is rude, yeah. Most of them are. Well, they were!
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:18, archived)
yeh, their songs are well shit

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:21, archived)
wetter than an otter's pocket
which is odd since I work with a Ms Otter and I doubt she'd wear damp trousers
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:33, archived)
not even if they weren't properly dry and she was late for work?

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)
it tried to rain but you could tell its heart wasn't really in it

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:44, archived)
it's raining here like it's got a quota to fill

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 15:54, archived)
Nah, the sun always shines on Surrey

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:06, archived)
i believe this statement may contain traces of lie

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:11, archived)
Aha!'s lesser-known b-sidezzzzz

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 16:21, archived)

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:25, archived)
shit, isn't it?

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:29, archived)
said the straining welshman

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:36, archived)
Don't mind, I'm in watching the rugby.
Bloody Welsh must be livid about the end of that game.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:41, archived)
haven't been watching
the parents have got flog it on
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:53, archived)
Your parents are fucking idiots.

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:58, archived)
yes, they are
but it's too late to change them now
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:22, archived)
^Well outside the 30 day returns window

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:24, archived)
outside a 30 year returns window
fuck it, i'm off home for a smoke
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:30, archived)
it's a tad damp

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 17:58, archived)
it's gone bloody freezing now

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:22, archived)
It's always moist when I am around

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:39, archived)
Had a bit of a hailstorm earlier, for teh lulz.
I'm off bar-hopping and clubbing shortly, so if it pisses it down, I'm going to be dismayed.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 18:49, archived)
whats it to you copper

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:09, archived)
'ark at you, strolling back in here and running your mouth off

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:23, archived)
I hope so. I spent today scarifying and then reseeding the front lawn. Cunt birds keep trying to eat the seed though

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:38, archived)
a bird shat in my sausage roll bag today,
i may or may not have eaten bird poo
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 19:51, archived)
^ate bird poo

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:05, archived)
i honestly don't know if i did or not,
i was half way through my sausage roll when i noticed there was poo in the bag, and on my sleeve, so some of it could have landed on the sausage roll and i'd not noticed, it was a Goan Spicy Pork sausage roll so i didn't know what that was supposed to taste like and i also don't know what bird poo tastes like.

It probably depends on the bird and what the bird has been eating i guess. And it may well have been eating sausage rolls, i dunno.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:08, archived)
A seagull once shat all down my arm as I pushed the button on a crossing. It was stood on the post.

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:37, archived)
well i recently watched one swallow a whole carrier bag so i guess we're still winning as a species

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:40, archived)
I saw one necking the dregs of a can of special brew.
They're really horrible creatures.

I reckon my scale of birds has seagull at one end and crow at the other.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:41, archived)
yeah crows are ace,
i reckon out of all the birds if one is going to become sentient and start a civilisation it's gonna be crows.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:52, archived)
I saw a great video on YouTube recently showing them work out displacement and stuff with u shaped pipes with water in them.
They reckon they're comparable with dolphins and chimps in terms of intelligence. They know traffic light sequences and use them to drop and retrieve nuts after cars have cracked their shells.
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:56, archived)
chimps are apparently going through their own stone age right now

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:59, archived)
Really? Got a link where I can read up on that?

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 21:07, archived)
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 22:13, archived)
this has reminded me
of Bob Todds used tampons
(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:39, archived)
Did they turn up at the bottom of a bag of your sausage rolls?

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:43, archived)
black puddings

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:44, archived)

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:56, archived)
Yeah, so that film Hidden Figures about the black women that were computers at nasa is fantastic.

(, Sat 18 Mar 2017, 20:38, archived)