You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search

I've just been to the supermarket when every Tom, Dick and Doris was there haggling over the potatoes.
What else is bad timing?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:44, Reply)
Winders gone on my gmt blnr, and only yesterday I said they were bombproof, ffs

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:02, Reply)
Sounds like it needs more vowels.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:09, Reply)
Bleu noir innit , but that's a bit foreign post brexit

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:13, Reply)
And sounds like a special-edition cheese

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:36, Reply)
Your post

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:09, Reply)
I was going to reply to myself and say "This post! Lol!",
but I didn't.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:12, Reply)
LOL!! LMAO!!

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 14:17, Reply)
My dad´s Subaru pickup
went like a kangaroo with hiccups. Until we accidentally put unleaded in it (back in the day). After that all the cylinders in the engine seemed to magically harmonise and propel the vehicle in the same direction.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 15:09, Reply)
I've always struggled with 5/4
The extra beat throws me off. Not strictly "bad" but I'm not a fan
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 15:34, Reply)
The Mission Impossible theme's not the same without it.
I think there's just not enough music written in 5/4 to give us the chance to get used to it.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 15:55, Reply)
OCD alert....... it's actually 10/8....

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:57, Reply)
Counting to 60, and assuming a minute has passed

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:23, Reply)
It's always 42...AMIRIGHT!!??

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 18:48, Reply)
missing my period :(

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:26, Reply)
I fingered a bird who was up on blocks once; woke up and looked at my hand and it looked like I'd spent the night punching a wall.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:54, Reply)


(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:54, Reply)
defo

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:58, Reply)
I'm not sure there isn't a man out there who hasn't, I've had clots all over my junk

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 18:33, Reply)
This is the same lass who pounced me, made me come back to her gaff then announced she was on the blob and we wouldn't be shagging.
Still don't understand that come-on.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 18:40, Reply)
Coincidentally that was the same night you lost your wallet, phone and 6 hours of memory

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:07, Reply)
Woke up just as the black clinic was about to take your liver

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:13, Reply)
Nah, I slept there, lost my pants and got her number.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:21, Reply)
She wanted it up the arse

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:27, Reply)
'an opportunity wasted' is going to be my epitaph.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 19:30, Reply)
My face is a mess from an accident on Thursday evening.
What's your excuse you ugly fucks?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)


(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:09, Reply)
because of this
i.imgur.com/Jj1WrwE.gifv
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:16, Reply)
yeah!
fuck face!
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:33, Reply)
^ Typical prole follower of the current ideals of attractiveness

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:23, Reply)
Get fucked four eyes

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:42, Reply)
9/11

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:34, Reply)
morning

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 7:18, Reply)
alright Fred Rogers

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 7:34, Reply)
dunno who that is soz

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
remember Mr. Roger's Neighborhood?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:19, Reply)
I've never heard of it
what channel was it on?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:20, Reply)
Adult Channel

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:31, Reply)
it was a tv show for kids from the u.s.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:38, Reply)
TV show for cunts made by cunts and starring cunts...
Sorry I mean Americans
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:06, Reply)
yeah ya have
mr t vs mr rogers - erb
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 12:53, Reply)
Not a lot of Yanks on this forum.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:35, Reply)
I believe in the theory of a Hollow Earth

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:36, Reply)
I thought woodo was German for some reason. Boy do I have egg on my face!

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:47, Reply)
I thought he was Dutch

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:56, Reply)

Rogers Jones

or

Fred Shaggy
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:17, Reply)

?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:19, Reply)
Awnings
The capcha system on this site is shite.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 7:35, Reply)
I haven't seen the captcha in yonks
Are you logging in and out to snoop on the people you've 2.0'd?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
No had to reset my phone and deleted chrome.
When I tried to login again I was hit with the captcha.

And I have never put anyone on ignore. Enough people have ME on ignore.

The way I see it they are sad cunts.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:29, Reply)
Yeah.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:18, Reply)
once more, with feeling

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 8:18, Reply)
Woo, morning
Bacon tiem!
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:05, Reply)
What's the jewish option?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:11, Reply)
pastrami

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:13, Reply)
I dunno, shakshuka?
(Which incidentally is really nice)
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:13, Reply)
Shakshuka is lovely aye.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:37, Reply)
Gesundheit.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:37, Reply)
I had boiled eggs
guffs abound
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
I enjoy raw quails eggs in the morning.
Slooshed across some rare steak.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:12, Reply)
R u a skink?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Can you wash your hands in one?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
Or is that a buffalo?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
It's a fucking BISON of course. Silly Fly.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:44, Reply)
The pheasant, partridge and the lark
Flew to thy house, as to Ark.
The willing ox of himself came
Home to slaughter, with the lamb;
And every beast did thither bring
Himself to be an offering.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:10, Reply)
Oh I know this one
Only 1, because you passed them while going to St Ives, implying they were travelling from there
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:15, Reply)
Met
but still wrong, you passed or met them because you were walking faster but in the same direction
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
Well this fucks the entire riddle up
2,403 by my reckoning then, if as you say both groups are going to St Ives, got to count the man and yourself
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:22, Reply)
and they didn't even want to go to St Ives

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:33, Reply)
Who does?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Hail Odin, Allfather, we bring you this sacrifice for your satisfaction

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
Temporary traffic lights in bexley village, avoid

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
Thanks, mongy.
This site could benefit from regular traffic updates.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
^ mongy traffic

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:54, Reply)
The handle broke off my corkscrew last night.
I had to bend the rod over and heave it out with a shifter.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:25, Reply)

frinkiac.com/img/S04E02/774523.jpg
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Morns

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:33, Reply)
alright garidead
brazilian hangover?
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Nah, it's just the way my trousers are hanging.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:56, Reply)
Actually, I´m pretty good
Had a beer last night but no more. We´re getting up early so that it´s not too much of a shock coming back to UK time on Tuesday. Up at 6am today, 5.30am tomorrow and 5am Monday...
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:07, Reply)
How long is the flight?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:22, Reply)
Whole journey is about 17 hours
With stop-offs in Sao Paolo and Paris. Have tickets for a first class lounge in Sao Paolo so the 4 hour wait shoudl be fine.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 16:20, Reply)
That's a fair trek eh?
I've never had proper jetlag through travel, but have perpetually had the experience by sleeping until 2pm on the weekends between the ages of 14 until 40.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 17:09, Reply)
How's Brazil? Still shite?

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:39, Reply)
Bits of it
but there will be bbq by the pool later and there was pao de quejo (cheese bread made with cacava flour) for breakfast. Portuguese for bread is very similar to the word for cock so it´s very easy to ask for some cheese cock by mistake.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:08, Reply)
Manolith would fit right in then I hear he has a green and slimy cheesy bellend

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 13:43, Reply)
So last night I was having a nice early night, lying on the sofa chilling out, came over all queer
I remember walking into the kitchen to get a glass of water - I woke up 3 hours later covered in blood on my kitchen floor.

It appears I fainted or had another seizure and whacked my head on the way down on a radiator. I have some lovely cuts and bruises.

When was the last time you passed out? What happened?

I know a guy that fell asleep on the toilet with his face against a radiator and had to have a skin graft...that was really funny.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:21, Reply)
Passed out after my wedding reception and woke up with my head jammed between the toilet and the wall.
Having retiled our bathroom, the week previous, I spent some time admiring the grouting before freeing myself and staggering to bed.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:31, Reply)
gammahydroxybutrate

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 22:23, Reply)
Nope never touched GHB.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 7:37, Reply)
I have never ever passed out unmedically induced. in which case it was 1997.

(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 0:51, Reply)
Ive blacked out a couple of times, only for a few seconds though
Still getting the faint feeling and losing control if your legs is a scary moment, couple of times it was probably drugs related, a couple were from over exertion, nothing major really
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 9:12, Reply)
I have gone wobbly when having blood taken a couple of times
which really pisses me off as I´m not squeamish. It only tends to happen when I have low blood sugar though which is handy.
(, Sat 29 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
YeeAAAAHHHhhhhhHHHH WEEKEEEENNNNNNDDDD!!!!!!!!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:57, Reply)
*squarts*

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:59, Reply)
£200 down for Klitschko to win

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:10, Reply)
Bollocks. I'll put some money up for the dark fella

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:21, Reply)
there's no way i was sticking 200 down
I'll stick a tenner in
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:39, Reply)
Wuss

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:46, Reply)
I've got a monkey on him, and to win between 4 and 6 , how he's 2 to 1 I don't know

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:37, Reply)
bit racist

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:39, Reply)
More than a bit

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:48, Reply)
I only found out yesterday he's smashing Hayden Panteater
lucky bastard
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:40, Reply)
she's a dwarf compared to him

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:43, Reply)
I miss having a tiny girlfriend to chuck around

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:49, Reply)

look no further
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:19, Reply)

www.immense-entertainment.co.uk/communities/2/004/012/071/602//images/4597281437.jpg
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:42, Reply)
Jesus Christ that is disturbing
Alastair McGowan's been working out
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:58, Reply)
The Krankies are looking rough.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:59, Reply)
My brother loves little people , they are like magic to him , he's delighted to see one, and has shopped behind them round supermarkets

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:41, Reply)
yeah, fuck this, I'm off.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:01, Reply)
Not another one,boooooo

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:05, Reply)
Is three days enough time to build a Fallout-style underground nuclear shelter?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:06, Reply)
Yes

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:24, Reply)
Don't bother mate, I've seen threads; if you survive the blast then you're best off drowning yourself in a bucket.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:20, Reply)
Like fuck it is, I've still got another 2 hours of paperwork to do.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:10, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:25, Reply)
Fecking right it is.
For some inexplicable reason I was convinced it was Thursday today. All day.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:10, Reply)
DIAGNOSIS: Alzheimer's disease
You're welcome
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:14, Reply)
Oh well, at least I haven't got Alzheimer's.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:32, Reply)
Gonna get smashed.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:21, Reply)
I've got a fancy bottle of gin and am off to get drugs
Awww-raaaaagghht
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:25, Reply)
^ going to meet a 15 yr old riding a BMX dressed in a black hoodie

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:44, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:07, Reply)
I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
By which I mean, some hash
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:46, Reply)
I've got some weed and some wine. If the pub doesn't pick up in going home and watching the long goodbye.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:21, Reply)
I bought 3 'fun' size bags of mediocre bud and some quite superb racket

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:33, Reply)
Is it as big a misnomer as it is in the Chocolate world?
Because to me a 'fun size' bar would probably be measured in meters.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:43, Reply)
Yup.
'Fun' as in 'it's over too soon'
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:57, Reply)

KEEEENNNNNNDDDD STWOOD'S ON THE MIKE, ABOUT TO KICK OUT SOME FRESH BEATS FOR ALL YOU MIDDLE-AGED WIGGERS OUT THERE IN RADIOLAAAAAAAAND
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:40, Reply)
*tunes in*

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:21, Reply)
Yes, too much wanking WILL give you a week end

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:30, Reply)
Plane-o

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:22, Reply)
Yes

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 19:45, Reply)
Are you sure?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 20:40, Reply)
Quite sure, yes

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:04, Reply)
he's mugging you off, mate

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:05, Reply)

It's funny because he repeats it
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 21:13, Reply)
Ever tried Brazilian wine? No. There is a reason for that - it is horrible and over-priced even in Brazil.
what else is there a very good, possibly eveen an obvious, explination for?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:40, Reply)
the moon landing

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:48, Reply)
is that when you bump your bare buttocks against another pair of bare buttocks?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:57, Reply)
Oh man, I love Requiem for a Dream!!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:00, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:22, Reply)
I bloody didn´t
fucking tedious load of arse. `Oh no, I´ve taken drugs now my life is ruined´ bollocks.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:34, Reply)
Yeah, it's bollocks really.
I do like Aronofski's PI though.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:35, Reply)
Drugs are bad, gari.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Not as bad as .... er ...
American moralising
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:48, Reply)
but they're so moreish!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:58, Reply)
Coke smells so nice

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:02, Reply)
doesn't it?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:03, Reply)
It sure does!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:16, Reply)
I've taken prescribed medication nasally, and it's never been anything less than a truly awful experience.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:12, Reply)
I find oral medicine is pretty vile
but love a glass of booze...
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:37, Reply)
I've never had any problems swallowing.
Oo-er.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:20, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=scary+fridges+1
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:03, Reply)
yis

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:00, Reply)
AKA the 'arseberry ripple'

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:03, Reply)

another pair of my
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:31, Reply)
Alright, Graeme?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Um....alright

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:02, Reply)
now rub your bum on his

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Ah ok, I know what's going on here

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:33, Reply)
remember to walk away once you get gamey

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:36, Reply)
smells like vinegar and corned beef

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:02, Reply)
Nirvana'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:16, Reply)
words to live by

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:02, Reply)
And a hit for peculiar 70s ensemble "Racey"

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:22, Reply)
ha!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
u wot m8?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:48, Reply)
Oh I don´t know

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:35, Reply)
Jews did 9/11

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:57, Reply)
There being a frog in your bidet.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:58, Reply)
Ok, now explain the hovercraft situation.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:01, Reply)
Eels, m8.
Eels.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:02, Reply)
I am still highly amused by the `like tipping an eel out of a wellie`
in reference to an easy poo
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:51, Reply)
^this

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:58, Reply)
pigeons have ball bearings in their necks
this is why they don't get whiplash from the constant head bobbing
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:15, Reply)
Everything is the fault of God, or Ancient Aliens.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:23, Reply)
Ancient Alien Gods?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:36, Reply)
We have Crystal Skulls as proof they were here.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:46, Reply)
that whole film is shit

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:08, Reply)
I enjoyed it well enough,
but it can't hold an candle to any of the other Indy films, and was totally unnecessary. No doubt they're working on a fifth film as we speak.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:14, Reply)
You would be correct in that assumption

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Hollywood needs to be stopped.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:16, Reply)
It's the live action remakes of all the Disney classics, that get me
Why bring out something new when you can just revisit something that you did perfectly well the first time?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
These days it's all about making the maximum money for the minimum effort.
If you devote your entire marketing budget to advertising only the laziest and most formulaic titles, people won't be aware that cinema can be anything else.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:21, Reply)
I'm quite happy with lazy, formulaic filmmaking.
I don't think it's stamped out more innovative styles, but I've reached a point in my life where I don't want my films to be challenging.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:27, Reply)
For FUCK'S sake.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:28, Reply)
I pretty much only go to the cinema to watch Marvel films
and Despicable Me sequels, these days.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:48, Reply)
^ This
I think the last film I went to see that wasn't Marvel was Kubo and the Two Strings
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:16, Reply)
i will be going to see guardians of the galaxy 2 in a few days

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:34, Reply)
Same, one of my mates has a birthday in the first week of May
Which always coincides with the next big Marvel release, give or take
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:57, Reply)
Fucking hell, we're really at a nadir here. Grown adults watching 3d gawpathons. So much cgi it's more cartoon than film. Real cultural low-point I think.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:35, Reply)
My inner child needs placating.
As do my actual children.
I don't have the energy for anything more challenging than a Wes Andersen film, these days.

3D can suck it, though, and I always appreciate it when a film bothers to use practical effects rather than just adding CGI in post.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:41, Reply)
There's nothing wrong with placating the innner child but these films seem so dull. Just dry, gap-filling dialogue being muttered back and forth for the best part of 2+ hours with 2 or 3 chase bits.
True about modern films and cgi etc though. Fellini could make sheer beauty with monochrome film and about 3 lights, then you've got things like transformers that probably cost tens of thousands per frame at some points and just looks like someone's tipped some lego on the floor.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:49, Reply)
P.S. I'm probably going to watch Elliot Gould's Dead Men Don't Die this weekend.
It basically looks like the thinking mans weekend at Bernie's.

youtu.be/AVOvSaqV7VU
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:50, Reply)
Death to the western world, sharia law, it's the only solution m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:54, Reply)
Finally, a point of view that I can get behind.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Yeah, but
Come on, don't make me say it
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:30, Reply)
You find me very attractive?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:56, Reply)
uh huh

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
I don't really object to those, to be honest.
The new Jungle Book was great, and my daughter loved the Cinderella remake (and is keen to see the new Beauty & The Beast), so I'd say Disney are working their target market well enough.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:24, Reply)
she knows it's not porn yeah

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:29, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:37, Reply)
it just felt so contrived

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
They made it because they could,
not pausing to consider whether they should.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:19, Reply)
much like jaws 4

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:22, Reply)
Ha!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:25, Reply)
TDFU
How'd ya like them eggs!!?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:27, Reply)
Poached, served on an English muffin.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:28, Reply)

not 'arf.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:58, Reply)
Not in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that the internet would be used to share pictures of women with large breasts.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
These are exciting times we live in.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:26, Reply)
The whole of fucking Brazil is on strike
it´s like France.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:36, Reply)
...except for the wine, obviously

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:34, Reply)
I remember the beer not being bad
and that sugar cane spirit is good for getting pissed on
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:42, Reply)
Also, head north
It gets more mellow, Bahia was the best place I visited*.

*In the 90s, it could be awful now.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:47, Reply)
Would love to but am here to visit in-laws
the flight to Bahia is almost in the same leage as going from London to New York so it´s not exactly en-route. Managed to see Curutiba last time and Parati the time before - both great trips. Would like to do Beunos Aires next time.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:50, Reply)
Don't they run their cars on booze?
i.imgur.com/iPT5yqS.jpg
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:49, Reply)
They do
It would be quite green if they hadn't chopped down the Amazon for the fields.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Some of the older cars smell like a gin&tonic when they go past
they even use ethanol as a floor cleaner in cafes. You can almost get pissed off the fumes when they´re at it.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:56, Reply)
Interesting. I was reading a thing how in Eastern Europe they used to run their cars on the gas from poorly burnt fuel.
Essentially you had a tank strapped to the back of the car you filled with wood and lit but starved of oxygen then you piped the fumes off into an engine.

Perhaps if someone told Mad Max about it they would have had fewer fights over the remaining oil.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Neccessity is the mother of injection and that

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:04, Reply)
Woodgas wasn't an exclusively Eastern european thing
Bikes in the UK had it during WW2. Some people still do it for fun
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
Apparently it's still used in the sticks for generators and stuff.
You know, where there's more trees than petrol stations?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:23, Reply)
come on mat8
do it properly (24 years)
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:02, Reply)
love

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Nothing. It's all way more complicated than people make out, but it's such hard work explaining to people like you, most just don't bother.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
Does the wine "explin" your spelling?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:59, Reply)
I pay women on the web to come over to my house and fart on me for money AMA

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:39, Reply)
If they follow through do you pay them extra for the service or do they pay for the cleaning of upholstery?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:42, Reply)
extra

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:45, Reply)
what's the weather going to be like tomorrow?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:42, Reply)
overcast

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:44, Reply)
nice, hopefully keep the solar powered boozers out of the pub

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:47, Reply)
"I'm not bald, it's a solar panel for a sex machine."

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 15:57, Reply)
is it possible to earn a regular income doing that?
I'm thinking of changing career
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:00, Reply)
some make a clear £2000 a week doing it

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:02, Reply)
sweet

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:06, Reply)
what's bus driver mode??
I was just starting my shift when I saw him in the bus stop. As I got closer I saw that he wasn’t breathing. I went straight into bus driver mode when something like that happens, it’s a code red.

www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15254041.Bus_driver_describes_finding_man_who_wasn___t_breathing_in_Bexleyheath_and_trying_to_get_help/
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:08, Reply)
being a wanker to passengers who don't have the correct change

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:14, Reply)
can't even use money on buses now, got to have a pass

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:23, Reply)
hardly ever use the bus when I go to London
always the tube
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:25, Reply)
aint no tubes for se lahndahn , we had trolly buses, which we no longer have

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:28, Reply)
I never understood why Edinburgh paid a fortune to dig everywhere up and put a tram in when they could've used trolleybuses. Much more practical.
#transportchat.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:52, Reply)
Complete Desert Bus and you unlock it

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:18, Reply)
Now I'm imagining the megadrive game desert strike with a bus rather than a chopper.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 17:02, Reply)
"To our passengers, we're the fourth emergency service."

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:23, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDGdb-4elHQ
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 18:09, Reply)
TD;FU
The beers are a-calling :D
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 16:13, Reply)
Now what you hear is not a test, I'm rappin' to the beat.
Haha, not really, I'm sat in silence in my office!!! Can't believe you actually fell for that one!

How's it going, gentle boarder's? I am wishing the day away, shit is dragging like a bitch. Might treat myself to some records as a payday/dead nan treat. When you fancy a little treat for yourself what do you go for? Apart from a nice Maccy D's of course.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:56, Reply)
You're a cheeky little scamp, that's what you are.
With your dozens of fake identities all lined up like phone cards at the till of your internet corner shop.

My treat is usually a gadget of some sort, usually music- and/or PC-related. The most recent two being a set of Bluetooth cans and some extra RAM.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:01, Reply)
It's like a real life Guess Who!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:05, Reply)
A new shed
or a big gay chemsex orgy. I´m open minded.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:02, Reply)
Get a shed big enough to house an orgy.
Problem solved.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:05, Reply)
You can totally be on the organising committee

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:19, Reply)
I'm happy to sort the shed bit out.
No idea where to get the chems from though. I used to know a bloke who could get tina but I lost his number years ago.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:21, Reply)
It was number 5 m8. If I remember correctly he could also get Monica, Erica, Rita, Sandra, Mary, and Jessica.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
*golfing shed clap*

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:29, Reply)
More of this kind of thing

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:32, Reply)
"mam" is polish for "I have"
and bo means your armpits stink.

So mambo number 5 just sounds like your pits sweat out a timelessly classy scent.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
It could also be your mother's fifth feudal Japanese fighting staff.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Naked crywank, alone in a cold house

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:02, Reply)
you need a blanket
for so many reasons
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:02, Reply)
Strikethrough 2can's green

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:04, Reply)
my brother messages me out of the blue yesterday
asking for my help fencing stolen goods using my ebay/paypal account.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:08, Reply)
this is the one who dresses up to go to the pub

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:09, Reply)
has he got anything good?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:12, Reply)
some sort of weird industrial part only sold through authorized dealers
which he reckons are worth 200 quid each, but you can get knockoffs on Amazon for 15 so he's dreaming, as always
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:15, Reply)
oh dear, he really doesn't come across well

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:16, Reply)
he comes very well
5 kids with 5 mothers, apparently
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:17, Reply)
classy

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:19, Reply)
Woah
his name doesn't begin with J, by any chance?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
nope
23 years gap between oldest and youngest
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:23, Reply)
Christ, so basically he's learned fuck all in the best part of quarter of a century?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:25, Reply)
pushing half a century now
he's quite a bit older than me
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
Speaking of dreamers making money my mate who is a renowned miser[1] has a hair-brained scheme to flip or rent properties at auction.
This is the same guy who bought a tiny flat to do up 8 years ago and it's still in disrepair. He spent a fortune having the walls straightened because he thought it'd matter. Then he decided to tile the kitchen himself, but bought end of the line tiles and no spares despite not knowing how to tile, so then he broke some and couldn't get any more.

He's also massively indecisive so fuck knows how he's going to win anything at an auction when there's slumlords who don't give a fuck throwing their money about.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:19, Reply)
Are you absolutely sure this guy's your brother?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
deffo
he's in all my family photos
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:24, Reply)
Extraordinary.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:25, Reply)
Some salty wood

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:16, Reply)
^that was his Prize Plonker moment

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:17, Reply)
I thought you were allowed to take salvage anyway, or did they change the law after that ship fell over and people got a load of free motorbikes and shit.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
when a shipwreck is declared, the owner of the ship declares to the Master of Shipwrecks
whether he claims ownership or surrenders it as flotsam, and then the Master and the police act accordingly. In that case, the owner wanted the wood back and the police (including my Dad) were tasked with securing the beach to prevent looters.

So my brother turning up at my Dad's house with a load of wet salty wood "going cheap" was indescribably thick.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:29, Reply)
He sounds a bit of a nob

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:35, Reply)
he's not my Dad's son, to be fair
I'm just blessed to have this much nobbery in my bloodline
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:41, Reply)
Fair enough.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:37, Reply)
Records and books mostly.
Although I've been considering treating myself to a framed picture of Edward Hopper's The Automat to hang in my sitting room.

As previously mentioned I've treated myself to an induction hob and also some measuring spoons. I'm now looking at getting some new pans, the judge vista range seems good, I had them in my last flat. Solid pans with measuring markers up the inside which always makes stuff easier dunnit?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:16, Reply)
#interesting #mick

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:16, Reply)
my dad won't shut up about his induction hob
I can't remember the last time I cooked a meal. Might have been 14 months ago.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:18, Reply)
They're good bits of kit.
If you've not got gas, that is.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
No use to me today then

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:21, Reply)

i.imgur.com/ZloBIcz.jpg
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:17, Reply)
That is desperately unfunny.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:19, Reply)
I thought it was practical and informative

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
I see.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
The grotty jpeg compression artefacts are the best thing about those images. Like rings in a tree denoting its age, it gives you a good idea how many spasticated digestive tracts these things have been through.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
I'm going to tell you how it's going to be
with social media's one week guarantee
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:29, Reply)

i.imgur.com/A1f7vY8.jpg
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:23, Reply)
i don't really

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:28, Reply)
I've got loads of work to do still and I can't be bothered.
Last time I had a bit of money I bought a new bass guitar, and im really pleased with it. Might get some records as well this weekend, there's a record shop in reading I might go to if the weather is good sunday.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:33, Reply)
What bass did you get?
I've been looking into buying a new one, after playing a 5 string for years I'm considering shelling out for a really nice sounding 4 string
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:43, Reply)
Fender Aerodyne
Fantastic bass
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:03, Reply)
Nice, bit out of my price range though
Although I guess once you've got it you never need another one
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:21, Reply)
Exactly.
If you want new on a budget the midst player series are very good on the whole. Better than the squier stuff but not top whack cash wise. I was tempted by a modern player telecaster bass, because they look the business, but it's doesn't really suit the music I'm playing these days.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Faberge eggs and preggo porn

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:33, Reply)
Gross

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:35, Reply)
Well not both at the same time, obviously
come on, Windy
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:37, Reply)
You're welcome to it

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:01, Reply)
Probably get a weekend away next month, thinking Valencia.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:34, Reply)
I can wholeheartedly recommend San Sebastian
I didn't hear single English accent the whole time, apart from my own
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:41, Reply)
I've heard only good things about San Sebastian, it's just a bit of a pain in the arse getting there from Glasgow.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
It's worth it

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
Such acts of gross materialism are beneath me.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:35, Reply)
As sad as it sounds I like to add to my old video games collection
Recently picked up a Japanese copy of FF6, bought mainly for the box art, which was a damn sight bettr than what was used in the West
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:40, Reply)
Why are the numbers different?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:45, Reply)
Final Fantasy 2, 3, and 5 originally never got released in the West, and 7 was the first released in Europe / PAL territories
So when they released what should be 1, 4, and 6 in the US they were called 1, 2 and 3 to avoid confusion.

#christthatisprobablythedullestthingyouveeversaidmuppsy
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:59, Reply)
Well, I did ask.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:07, Reply)
This is even nerdier than Pokemon chat.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:12, Reply)
I can go worse if you want ;)

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:15, Reply)
Can you offer a reasonable justification for those massive swords with pistol handles that the main characters always seem to carry?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:21, Reply)
I'll be pedantic and say that was only in FF8
But the answer is probably "because Japan"
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Dunno what the most recent game was,
but posters for that had some scrawny git holding a mahoosive sword in a backhand grip that made it look like he was about to snap his own wrist. Might have had a proper handle, though, so point conceded.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:29, Reply)
yeah
the word 'fantasy' in the title should probably have given you a clue. it's not the 'final documentary' series
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:40, Reply)
^ fantasises about having mighty wrists

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:29, Reply)
I never saw the appeal of Final Fantasy really.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:19, Reply)
I managed about 20 minutes on the PSOne game,
before writing it off as boring. Probably got my team killed in the first monster encounter.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:23, Reply)
Having played most of them it's hardly surprising, they're well known for introducing the West to JRPGs
But they're pretty by the numbers as far as that genre goes. Personal favourite is 6, the SNES sprite graphics have aged well enough and it has a pretty decent story, but I'd sooner go for something like Vagrant Story or Chrono Trigger
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:53, Reply)
you know what, Rich, I think *I* might treat myself to some records as well
and it ain't even payday
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:48, Reply)
there's a sandwich deli place near work that does baguettes that can only be described as 'peng'
so that, tshirts, videogames or other juvenile shit
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:22, Reply)
I hope the deli is called "Bare Guettes".

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:26, Reply)
it isn't, thank god

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:38, Reply)
Dublin Daves near me does proper peng baguettes with a tin of juice and crisps for £3.40
My signature dish is white baguette, both cheeses, coleslaw, lettuce and 'spicy lamb' which is basically just chunks of donner meat in chilli sauce.

He also does sausage rolls with mustard going through the sausagemeat. #nang.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:26, Reply)
Two types of cheese?
Bullshit.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:30, Reply)
White *and* Orange

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 14:02, Reply)
Where do you even buy child's poo?
Asking for a friend
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:27, Reply)
How much do you need?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:33, Reply)
alright 'gary shitter'

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:58, Reply)
I wouldn't fucking know
they seem to be closed on saturday lunchtimes
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:34, Reply)
lol
by the time you actually get to have one, you'll probably be underwhelmed
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 13:39, Reply)
Kong: Skull island was a bit shit.
What else is a bit shit?

Or weekend plans

Or weekend food plans.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:08, Reply)
You are m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:10, Reply)
Your coat tails are M9

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
My innards are rebelling against last night's curry today
I'm 'uncomfortable' to say the least. Worth it though, it was stunning.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:21, Reply)
Little bit bubbly?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:28, Reply)
Torrential diarrhoea

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:09, Reply)
Do you ever get 'hot belly'?
I hate hot belly
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:33, Reply)
sometimes the top of my bald head sweats when I have chilli

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:35, Reply)
hawt

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:35, Reply)
+belly

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:50, Reply)

ch w +es up my bum-bum
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:37, Reply)
that too

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)
If I do a chilli with scotch bonnets I can pinpoint it's location in my intestines.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)
I've got an arse like the Japanese flag today
But no 'hot belly'
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:09, Reply)
I did a lovely Indonesian chicken and prawn stir fried rice dish last night.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:40, Reply)
How do you know the chicken was Indonesian?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)

rsvpmagazine.ie/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/steve-mcdonald-1.jpg
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:44, Reply)
because it was PEKanbaru all over the place!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:52, Reply)
9/11

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:11, Reply)
for all three?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:11, Reply)
yeah, why not?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:12, Reply)
that's your prerogative, m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:14, Reply)
He can do what he wants to do, m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:22, Reply)
of course he can, m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:32, Reply)
Dunno
might start a fight with a little bloke
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:12, Reply)
£100 per hour

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:13, Reply)
seems reasonable

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:14, Reply)
i don't think your kids can be categorised as 'little blokes' just yet

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
still going to get a win out of it, ain't I

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:21, Reply)
hmm, MAYBE against the smaller one

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:24, Reply)
Are you kidding?
He's the most dangerous!
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:33, Reply)
shorter reach though

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:52, Reply)
that's true

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:54, Reply)
your threads
I'm going to see an 81 year old woman sing on Saturday and going to see some people get married on Sunday
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:15, Reply)
does the woman know that you're watching?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
I think she's aware that there will be people watching, but not specifically me

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
Phew, ok
Well I hope you enjoy it
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:33, Reply)
oh and I'm being wined and dined by scouse tonight

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
oooooohhhh, do you think you're going to go 'all the way'?!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:20, Reply)
let's see how much lambrini he manages to get down me

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:32, Reply)
i think he's bought a big funnel

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:38, Reply)
wait, do you mean for the wine here?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:18, Reply)
i've said too much already

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:19, Reply)
Lambrini is perry, not wine.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:52, Reply)
just post 'i am a prick' in the subject line
so that you can just /ac it in future instead of posting things like this. you'll save a lot of time
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:56, Reply)
wear a blazer

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
#420blazerit

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
:)

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
I LOVE Nana Mouskouri

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
Don't say you weren't warned.
Delivery companies who say one thing and do something entirely different and who can't be arsed to accommodate you are a bit shit.

Weekend plans: might get the barbie out again if the weather's up for it.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:17, Reply)
do you have her pop-up camper set?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:19, Reply)
*Kenneth Williams.mp3*

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Bit sexist M8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:20, Reply)
She loves it when I fire 'er up.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:24, Reply)
I thought you'd have a Ken instead of a barbie tbh

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:22, Reply)
Imagine an actual Barbie-themed barbecue.
It'd probably be hot pink or something.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:25, Reply)

i.imgur.com/FZ26xdR.gif
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:41, Reply)
is he another queer?
Fackin hell.
I was the only on on OT
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:29, Reply)
Come on, you know I like the laydeez.
It's not like you were the only gay in the village to begin with anyway.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:30, Reply)
Not over here Im not :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:31, Reply)
gari is a loads better gay than you
he doesn't have shit taste in music for a start
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:36, Reply)
I like most music, tbh.
Just not hippity hop or metal.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:43, Reply)
or The Yurtsmiths

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:43, Reply)
neptune was the best bent this forum had

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:43, Reply)
Link plz.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:48, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=46141
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:52, Reply)
There sure is a lot of ablooblooing in his message history.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:13, Reply)
pretty sure that's a Legless post, you silly sod

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:28, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
from round my way and all, wasn't he?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:50, Reply)
i think so, he liked the horses and a blazer

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:52, Reply)
what did he play?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:18, Reply)
the pink, the pink, the pink oboe, pink oboe pink oboe

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:21, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:31, Reply)
loads of stuff is a bit shit
gonna catch up on some sleep and clean the flat this weekend
i'll probably also eat like, at least ten things
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Tom Hiddleston is a beautiful man.
Er, no homo.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
He totally is.
Pretty cracking dancer, too.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:20, Reply)
he looks like a fucking shrew

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:21, Reply)
I was going to say 'weevil'

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
I still might actually

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
you should

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:24, Reply)
fuck it - 'weevil'
There.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:29, Reply)
He's the lesser of two weevils.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:35, Reply)

youtu.be/5KIX3kb7Yxs
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Not available.
Nonetheless, you've reminded me of how much I enjoyed that Hot Rod film they made.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:33, Reply)
Not for me thanks.
I'll have Thor over Loki any day... especially with his new short gladiator hair do.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:30, Reply)
I also find Chris Hemsworth to be utterly charming.
I'd probably let him date my daughter (or one of my sons, I don't discriminate).
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:37, Reply)
This North Korea situation is shit too.
Why are they so paranoid? Literally nobody gives a fuck about them.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Donald Trump gives a fuck about the Norks,
thus they've become a global issue, rather than something that we all carefully ignore.
Two odd looking, crazy idiots, with access to nuclear weapons - what could possibly go wrong?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
Those live fire drills are fucked up.
Can we all stop flexing our missiles now?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:32, Reply)
gs?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:35, Reply)
and 2 trips please

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:44, Reply)
Lol, you just reminded me of the utterly shit game Homefront: The Revolution
A buggy generic mess of a "modern combat" shooter where North Korea takes over America or something, but the resistance group you fight alongside constantly refer to the enemy as "Norks" in full seriousness
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:44, Reply)
lol, bewbs

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:55, Reply)
hurrrr

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:01, Reply)
North Korea aren't actually behaving any differently from the way they always have
the only difference is that now the US are behaving in the same way
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:34, Reply)
^ This.
They've spent decades sabre-rattling and being almost universally ignored, and now Trump is prodding them with the biggest stick he can find in the hope that they sneeze out of turn and he can bomb the shit out of them.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:51, Reply)
Thats pretty sad then.
So we're all going to hell in a handcart because of an orange numpty with a bad toupee?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:54, Reply)
They'll probably end up blowing themselves up anyway.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:55, Reply)
When you think about it it's more amoral to bomb a dictatorship than a democracy, as the citizens had no choice or input in the cunts at the top.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:50, Reply)
I've piled up a load of cash
and I'm going to spend a few hours tomorrow in one of those revolting massive malls buying clothes so that I don't have to buy any more for another six months
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:18, Reply)
Cash?
How vulgar.
Unless: www.openculture.com/2015/04/johnny-cash-machines.html
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:25, Reply)
I like cash
it's got a natural limit to it so I know when to stop spending, unlike plastic
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:47, Reply)
No self control, eh?
I'm just very wary of spending anything more than about £10 on a single item, and so effectively self limit.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:12, Reply)
I know I need to replace a large chunk of my wardrobe, so I'll be spending a lot
it's not so much self-control and setting a clear limit.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:22, Reply)
He's clearly got self control issues, hence the morbid obesity/crash diet

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)
Throwing stones from a glass house, Rich?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:54, Reply)
I'm a bit bored.
Waiting on a parcel force delivery, the tracking number suggests it will be delivered sometime between 7am and 6pm.

Which isn't very helpful.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:26, Reply)
it'll get there at 5.58pm

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:32, Reply)
More than likely.
Or when I go out for lunch.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:40, Reply)
got my kids this weekend, and i won't be getting my new watch monday, so all that, might kill myself

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:28, Reply)
unlucky

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:29, Reply)
What sort of timepiece you gonna be rockin?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:31, Reply)
well i ordered the new sea dweller , but it seems from no 2 on the list i'm now no10, guess i'm just not posh enough

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:35, Reply)
I've always fancied a Rolex
Not sure I can justify the price though.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:39, Reply)
most sports models hold their value pretty well, so if you decide you want the money back you'll pretty much get it all back and they are excellent watches

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:42, Reply)
What are the servicing intervals for such a watch?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:46, Reply)
5 years is what they recommend, costs around £3-400 , but many people suggest leaving well alone if it is still running fine , i've only had old ones serviced, the new ones are bomb proof

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:50, Reply)
RIP :(
sweet dreams
xxx
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:32, Reply)
at least you'll be reunited with monitor bug

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:40, Reply)
rip mike woz ere

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:43, Reply)
this place has a lower survival rate than some wars

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:55, Reply)
new cod ww2 game looks good, but they did it before with world at war, glad they've left the space shit alone this year tho

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:49, Reply)
We´ve rented a villa the other side of town
Saturday we´ll have one set of in-laws over for BBQ and poolside drinks, Sunday we´ll do the other side of ´im indoors´ family. There will be Brahama, Skol, caipirinhas and lots of overly salted beef on the grill. It´s a recipe for heart disease and some kind of fall-out with relations.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 12:01, Reply)
morning

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:01, Reply)
Morning /talk
One last push before the long weekend
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:11, Reply)
yer, it's gonna be a bit bleak on here
not sure how I'll cope
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:16, Reply)
Wanking

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:48, Reply)
for three days solid?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:57, Reply)
Yup

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
What else do men do when left to their own devices?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:06, Reply)
Grrry plays with his lego

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:09, Reply)
I'll probably have to spend time with my family :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:10, Reply)
oh m8 :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:13, Reply)
Yo

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:48, Reply)
whadup?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:57, Reply)
BRAAAPPPPPP BRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPOP POP POP BANG BANG POP POP POP BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:03, Reply)
remind me
you bought three shit bikes in a job lot; how many are up and running now?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:04, Reply)
Well, it wasn't quite 3 shit bikes.
4 engines, 2 frames. Probably enough spares for 2 full bikes. I've only got 1 going. Not even started on the other one.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
was that tank for the other one then?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:29, Reply)
Nah, for the working one. Current tank has a hole in it.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:41, Reply)
course it does
How else do you get the fuel in?!
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:46, Reply)
Oh. :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:58, Reply)
Chief o' brien

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:00, Reply)
I finished watching TNG this week
That final series was a complete waste of time
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:17, Reply)
Whoa, spoilers m8
I'm still working my way through season 4
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:52, Reply)
there's a fair bit of nobbing going on aboard the enterprise

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:55, Reply)
Not if you're geordi or creepy reg.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:57, Reply)
creepy rage blates did nasty things to crusher and troi on the holodeck
Geordie is basically a Nice Guy sex pest
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:05, Reply)
There was an episode where troi was in one of his holodeck fantasies, Riker thought it was hilarious until it turned out he'd programmed Riker in as his gimpy little servant.
I doubt reg is the only one who used the holodeck for fucking though. Mopping it out must be a punishment duty.

What's funny about Geordi is that even Data managed to get his hole more times than him and he doesn't even have proper emotions.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:09, Reply)
you don't need emotions to get laid m8
trust me
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
^carries a hankie with a bit of onion in around with him so he can appear 'sensitive'.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:42, Reply)
Why would you wank on an onion?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 11:47, Reply)
Hello.
Is it me you're looking for?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 7:58, Reply)
I don't think the answer to that question will ever be "yes"

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:05, Reply)
No m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:05, Reply)
^

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:06, Reply)
Herro

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:05, Reply)
Is it me you're rooking for?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:08, Reply)
No m8

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:13, Reply)
Oh hai.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:10, Reply)
mate that's well racist and you should be banned

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:15, Reply)
Would it help if I said solly?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:17, Reply)
You know you didn't have a proper stag do.
have a look at what you were missing out on
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:18, Reply)
Just look at the little fellers!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:22, Reply)
A lot of diapers, not sure I wanna pay 100 quid an hour for someone incontinent

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:25, Reply)
I'm only £60 an hour m8
Admittedly I'm quite tall for a dwarf but that's my USP
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:26, Reply)
Exploitation lols, I wonder if you can hire a black man dressed in grass and with a bone through his nose, that would also liven up any hen do

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:28, Reply)
I'm not googling it

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:28, Reply)
Yes you can

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:29, Reply)
You can get fake clip-on bone nose piercings from fancy dress shops.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:30, Reply)
I'll do it for a couple of yams and a coconut

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:51, Reply)
You and your yams, honestly

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:52, Reply)
i used to buy yams from the caribbean shop on elm grove but the last couple of times they've been rotten inside :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:16, Reply)
It's a wet and wild one out there this morning.
The umbrella cut it but a sou'wester wouldn't have gone amiss.

Also: morning.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:12, Reply)
same here
driving winds and sleet made the walk to kindergarten rather unpleasant
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:16, Reply)
sl33t h4xx0rz

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:23, Reply)

Hallo
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:14, Reply)
urgh, you've drimbled all down your front

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:29, Reply)
hiya

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:33, Reply)
Spellcasting: M-U-F-F-G-U-F-F-S

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:35, Reply)
bit too camp for me

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:39, Reply)
A strong, stable morning thread

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:39, Reply)
Poo on a stick.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:42, Reply)
hmm

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:43, Reply)
^ 1/4 of the Crash Test Dummies

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:46, Reply)
They should build a plastic cock and balls on those things
otherwise however would they get an accurate idea of damage to that area of the body
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:54, Reply)
They could just do crash testing with ReadDolls instead.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
must we?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:57, Reply)
+fuck

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 8:59, Reply)
at least buy me dinner first

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:00, Reply)
wear a blazer
we're going somewhere posh
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:22, Reply)
ooh nandos

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:29, Reply)
you don't have to participate
you could whinge to the mods to have your account deleted like all the other crybabies
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:02, Reply)
I don't get why people need to have their account deleted
couldn't they just not come here?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:05, Reply)
I expect it's a matter of willpower, or lack thereof
the same lack that keeps them stuffing cake and pie into their faces at every possible opportunity
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:18, Reply)
How's your diet going m8?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:19, Reply)
lost 2.5kg so far
that's over 5 lbs in old money.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:32, Reply)
I binned off my old one for work reasons
Should probably do it again actually
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:19, Reply)
^ upset

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:24, Reply)
that makes sense if you've revealed a bit too much personal info
Some muppet tried trolling me by posting my car's licence plate, as if he was some l33t h@xx0r. The car I'd posted in a /qotw reply about a month earlier.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:33, Reply)
I bought a new blazer to go with my jeans/chinos AMA

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:23, Reply)
you know gays, right, do they really put their willies up each others bums?
only that doesn't sound at all pleasant
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:29, Reply)
some do, some don't

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:31, Reply)
if it was compulsory it would probably put me off choosing to be a gay

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:32, Reply)
Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:39, Reply)
do gays let their boyfriends come on their faces for a treat on birthdays
or is it always a deposit in the brown bank?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:44, Reply)
do you tuck your crisp white shirt into your jeans, or do you favour the more devil-may-care untucked look?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:31, Reply)
always tuck when wearing a blazer

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:32, Reply)
do you iron your jeans?
if so, with a crease or without?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:33, Reply)
never iron
but if you have to, get her indoors to do it! ahahhahahahahaahahahahahAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:34, Reply)
seriously though
in their bums??
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:38, Reply)
right in the bum, mate

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:40, Reply)
what colour is the blazer please?

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:41, Reply)
Bear in mind that the only correct answers are Camel, Caramel or Taupe

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
mauve

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
provocative
what colour jeans?
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:46, Reply)
cyan

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:50, Reply)
nicking portillo's style

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:59, Reply)
I couldn't pull off cyan jeans or his pink blazers he wears

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:04, Reply)
With mauve??
You monster
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:03, Reply)
I was lying
I don't do ostentatious colours
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:05, Reply)
You have too much dignity for that

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:10, Reply)
charcoal grey

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:45, Reply)
TAUPE-Y SUICIDA!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:01, Reply)
^

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:11, Reply)
She cannae take much more o' this, captain.
Two accountants chatting about deductibles + my boss coming in an hour late with her crotch-fruit in tow. I can't concentrate on anything, not that I have any work to do in the first place.

There should be a rule that if you've got no work to do, you should be able to do whatever you like, as long as you're ready to drop it and go back to your official work as soon as the need arises. And still get paid.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:33, Reply)
last time I booked a holiday my PM got the hump because he wasn't informed "using the appropriate channels"
This time I booked it in all work calendars three months in advance, added it to my email sig, mentioned it in a team meeting in front of him AND his boss, and informed by contractor I will be unbillable for that week.

Yesterday he signed our team up for a project with a delivery date that is exactly the last day of my holiday, when my contribution is always in the final week of the project. Many laughs will be had in today's planning session.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:41, Reply)
I'll gaz you Douglas Hurd's private number.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 9:46, Reply)
Communication in our teams is so disjointed and poor I just lob it in the holidays spreadsheet the day before I'm off and declare myself away.

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:00, Reply)
we have daily standups for a team of 4 :(

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:06, Reply)
it sure is!!!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:11, Reply)
that's the spirit!

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 10:23, Reply)
6/7
and I´ve been the other side of the world all week... Fuck knows how I got so many right.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 2:25, Reply)
2/6
Half a crown.
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 6:53, Reply)
Who the fuck is slippery mick?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:31, Reply)
It's Gormo, innit?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:32, Reply)
Ah that would make sense then.
2.0
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:34, Reply)
*sounds horn*

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:37, Reply)

b3ta.com/talk/6025813
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:11, Reply)
Alright dribble.
I will pay attention to you no problem, you needy beaker.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:30, Reply)

wompwompwomp.com/
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 23:06, Reply)
Is it a trick question?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:37, Reply)
Might be

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:38, Reply)
a greased up irish guy

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:53, Reply)
From Mayo

(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 2:15, Reply)
Early Evening thread.
Anyone doing anything nice?

I'll be BLAYZIN IT and watching Kong: Skull Island
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:00, Reply)
Don't bother it's UTTER UTTER SHITE
My e cig has took the knock so that's fucked.

I will just take loads of tramadol and watch Riddick this evening.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:01, Reply)
Don't listen to him, Jase.
We all know you love only the shittest in cinema and music, so knock yourself out.

I'm moonlighting tonight for some extra spondulicks.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:09, Reply)
I am currently on SSP which is fucking killing me...
I have a very busy July ahead of me as well, first 2 weeks in the Dominican Republic, return to the UK for a weekend, then a week in Ghana for work, then a week off then a week in Spain with the family for mothers 60th.

Not sure how i am going to afford it all now.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:15, Reply)
Im just watching for the giant dinosaurs and some mindless nonsense.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:17, Reply)
I've got "Get Out" too. Nothing too cerebral tonight though.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:19, Reply)
Now that is very good.
This is what you should watch.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:24, Reply)
I will over the weekend. Tonight I want something that's simply a popcorn movie

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:55, Reply)
Get Out is very much a popcorn movie.
With the amount of time I have had off work lately I have watched a lot of films.

Thank god for Exodus.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:07, Reply)
Good old Bob Marley

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:23, Reply)
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:29, Reply)
I doubt he gets much say in the matter these days

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:36, Reply)
Exactly dribble, exactly.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:38, Reply)
Without toe cancer

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:55, Reply)
Going to cook some indonesian rice curry.
Need to get some Keycap manis on the way home come to think of it.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:09, Reply)
My induction hob has passed the test.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 21:57, Reply)
Probably the usual round of
Play with the kids
Dinner
A few chores
An episode of Iron Fist (or Ash Vs Evil Dead, Preacher, or whatever other trash I fancy)
Bed

Could probably fit in a wank, somewhere, but timing is everything.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:13, Reply)
Not started Iron Fist yet.
Im rewatching everything leading up to it, with the other half, so we can watch The Defenders together.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:18, Reply)
I like it a lot more than the internet led me to believe I would.
Not quite as much fun as Luke Cage, but not po-faced like Daredevil or Jessica Jones. Good villains, too, which I think these series thrive upon.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:12, Reply)
I'll give you an Iron Fist

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:29, Reply)
Promises, promises.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:12, Reply)
Just got back from the dentist
Not chicken unfortunately
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:31, Reply)
I feel I have misunderstood something here.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:36, Reply)
Same.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:55, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=chicken+dentist
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:00, Reply)
You've got a sore tooth but luckily they didn't have to poul et

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:49, Reply)
That's fucking gash.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:55, Reply)
I'm going for a curry

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:32, Reply)
More information required
Make sure you don't shit on your coat afterwards, they don't like that in Indian restaurants (I just assumed Indian because I am racist obviously)
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:35, Reply)
Pakistani actually YOU MASSIVE RACIST
More grill/kebab focused than a regular Indian
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:39, Reply)
Sweet. I am a MASSIVE RACIST
I blame my parents and Theresa May
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:42, Reply)
It will disagree with your fragile innards.
Poor Mrs mcbeef, she'd be well advised to find alternative sleeping accommodation, for a few days.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:13, Reply)

days years
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:15, Reply)
I'm in the pub , and i found some solid I'd misplaced the other month, so that

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:37, Reply)
I've had one joint in about 3 weeks :(((

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:25, Reply)
It's good to have a break, knocks your tolerance down

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:41, Reply)

joint solid
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:43, Reply)
dunno

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:41, Reply)
Classic

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:42, Reply)
Band practice tonight, got to put a set together for a gig we've been offered this weekend.
Playing with some psychobilly band. Double bass and quiff pricks.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:44, Reply)
Play some Bananarama. Keep yourself current.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:57, Reply)
Only wankers are in covers bands m8.
Also, the McDonald's by me has gone all touch screen, what happened to all the fresh faced youths that used to take my order?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:16, Reply)
They'll deliver soon.
Answer: They are lazy shits.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:19, Reply)
I'm a big fan of this endless push to social isolation.
Fuck talking to people.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:30, Reply)
rand tangles for rose and goss

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:44, Reply)
she owes you nothing

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:47, Reply)
Matt or Luke , or both, you lucky boys

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:17, Reply)
Poor Craig.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:19, Reply)
Ironically he's the only one who kept his money

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:25, Reply)
he set himself up behind the scenes
played the long game. Whereas Matt and Luke have to whore themselves doing 'Remember the 80s' gigs.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:35, Reply)
That Matt's done alright. Done some acting and that,
Blade 2 and Hellboy 2 must have done some good.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:49, Reply)
Yeah but the kemps played the krays and won oscars or saink

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:03, Reply)
I'll let tangles decide

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 18:34, Reply)
Home visit
Hate on calls
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:04, Reply)
Can you visit me?
In Runcorn?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:14, Reply)
Saino's Taste the Difference Vinedos Barrihuelo Rioja Crianza isn't bad, fellow wino's.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:15, Reply)
I like me some Rioja.
Always end up opening a bottle and either drinking it in one sitting (sleepy), or having a glass and then leaving it to turn to vinegar (wasteful), though.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:31, Reply)
It's my favourite red, i really want to go to the festival where they launch it all to keep the price fair

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 19:47, Reply)

ino' anker
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:10, Reply)
Are you saying you don't like red wine? Are you some sort of prick?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 20:12, Reply)
Ooh, I know the answer to this one!

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 22:04, Reply)
There's going to be a new Master of the Universe film in 2019
I doubt it will be a patch on the 80's classic(!), but still rather excited.

What are YOU excited for?

io9.gizmodo.com/reebok-announced-two-new-alien-themed-sneakers-which-ar-1794684805
Would you wear these Alien inspired Reeboks?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:16, Reply)
I'm getting a bit tired of all this retro inspired bollocks
I want this decade to have its own unique identity, rather than all this 80s throwback nonsense.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:17, Reply)
Looking forward to some proper fish and chips next month though.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:17, Reply)
It's all about the grease
There are 2 main chippys where I live. One tries to be all posh and cuisine, the other is no frills. Im always at the cheap one. Tastes much better.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:22, Reply)
My Dad used chippies as a reason to vote Brexit
There were two in the village, both a bit rubbish, then a third one opened up and crushed the other two, forcing one out of business. "Bloody Poles coming over here and putting British blokes out of business", he moaned. But he still buys from the Polish shop because the food is better and you get a bigger portion for the money.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:24, Reply)
There's no jingoism like free-market jingoism.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:28, Reply)
Your dad sounds like a fucking idiot, no offence.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:31, Reply)
something about the distance from which apples fall from trees

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:54, Reply)
none taken
He voted while knowing full well that it jeopardised the livelihood of his son and the future of his grandkid, so you can say whatwver you like about him.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:24, Reply)
Brexiteers who will happily eat and use foreign stuff are the BEST!

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:32, Reply)
up there with northern working class tory voters, eh jase?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:02, Reply)
lol touché.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:03, Reply)
since i voted for the uk to leave the EU does that mean i cant buy any thing not made in the uk? ..concerned watch collector

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:05, Reply)
You should be very happy to pay punitive import taxes for the privilege.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:06, Reply)
not sure that will really bother me to be honest

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:08, Reply)
Pull the ladder up, mongy.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:16, Reply)
have you ever looked at import duty from america or hong kong, it's fucking outrageous, you'd be better off flying over there to buy and try and sneak it back in

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:18, Reply)
I buy stuff from China for pennies.
I don't think any of it attracts import duties.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:23, Reply)
i think you are still supposed to pay vat on it, although they probably don't bother for small amounts, go over about 400 quid and it starts getting nasty

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:25, Reply)
wealthy people should be fine
stick by your choices
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:11, Reply)
but can i still get a curry tonight and watch my sony tv?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:13, Reply)
yeah, but jase might have some cutting satirical words to say about it

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:24, Reply)
oh no, wait till he finds out i would never in my life vote for tory cunts , yet voted brexit

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:26, Reply)
haha!
I don't vote for a particular party, I don't have ties to one.
This brexit thing has me stumped though.

Haven't a clue which way Im voting this time.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:39, Reply)
We've already had the Brexit vote, Jase.
Try to keep up.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:39, Reply)
Yes but now we have the Brexit negotiations!

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:46, Reply)
explain to him that if they opened up their own chippy
then they created jobs for themselves rather that taking them from brits
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:02, Reply)
It'll be throwback 90's before you know it
And then we'll know how plastic that time was.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:21, Reply)
It's not a new concept; loads of the 'classic' 40's noirs got remade in the 70's/80's but nobody remembers them because they weren't a patch on the Bogart/Bacall originals.
There were some ok neo-noirs that came of the back of it; Chinatown, the crossover into 70's paranoia films, the long goodbye etc etc.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:28, Reply)
thats a lot of noirs

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:32, Reply)
The 40's and the 70's were very good decades for film.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:37, Reply)
I won't watch anything with sound.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:39, Reply)
70s thrillers for the win.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:41, Reply)
^

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:43, Reply)
Needs more CGI Dewbacks.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:50, Reply)
No m8.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
The definitive version of The Maltese Falcon has Bogart replaced with Boba Fett.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:01, Reply)
Megan Fox is being green-screened into The Big Sleep.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:16, Reply)
Toe thumb!
cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files/ftpuploads/bloguploads/0513/megan-fox-thumb-1-FB.jpg
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:29, Reply)
Escaping the work prison camp I'm currently in at 5ish tomorrow
And yeah I'd give them sneeks a turn on the pavements of Cardiff.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:20, Reply)
Oh man, that film was hilariously awful.
I'm looking forward to the new Alien film...cautiously.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:21, Reply)
Skeletor was spot on.
I don't know why they didn't use the actual other villains instead of the made up lizard people.

Im looking forward to Covenant too. Love all the little preludes they keep releasing.
Ive spoiled the story line though by looking at all the reviews of leaked footage
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:24, Reply)
I won't hear a word said against the original He-Man film.
It's all kinds of ace. Frank Langella's favourite role, too.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:31, Reply)
no, they're fuck ugly

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:25, Reply)
You can pretend you operate that big crane thing though.
Im going to buy some, then run round in a vest and knickers.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:33, Reply)
i'll stick with my supervillain boots

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:38, Reply)
"big crane thing"?
I question the wisdom of marketing shoes for people too young to have seen the film.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:39, Reply)
I just couldn't remember what it was called as I typed the answer.
I love the Alien series :)
ALL OF THEM
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:40, Reply)
Which do you think is the best of the 4?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:42, Reply)
Alien, definitely.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:59, Reply)
The tension has never been matched.
The little prologu they released for Covenant yesterday basically sets up the film.
I know a little too much about how the Alien was created now.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:00, Reply)
There were no Alien films after 4.
You're a fool to pretend otherwise.
Alien3 is my fave, but I won't deny that the original is the best.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
while i enjoy the contrast between Aliens and Alien 3, Aliens is by far the best
Resurrection was fucking pants
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:13, Reply)
I thought that when I was a teenager but now prefer the brooding menace in Alien.
It's a work of art.

Similar story with Terminator and T2.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:21, Reply)
Terminator is my No.1 film of all time.
A great exercise is sustained menace (and explosions!).
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:22, Reply)
Aside from the ridiculous "Newborn" and rather crappy ending, I quite enjoyed part four.
It's pleasantly daft and has a great cast. Weakest entry in the series, by far and, whilst it might have been interesting to see what happened on the posts apocalyptic Earth (Aliens Vs The Evil Dead, probably), it's for the best that the series came to an end.
Just imagine if they'd tried to cash in on that Easter Egg in Predator 2, or tried to make a prequel! Doesn't bear thinking about...
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:21, Reply)
Ressurection was directed by Jean-Pier Jeunet.
He's done some great films. The best probably being Delicatessen.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:28, Reply)
City of Lost Children wasn't bad, either.
Wasn't Amelie him, too? No doubt I'll get some stick for enjoying that (wonderful soundtrack).
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:31, Reply)
Yeah, I've not seen The City of Lost Children.
A Very Long Engagement and The Young and Prodigious TS Spivet aren't bad either.

Yeah, Amelie was him as well she was also in A Very Long Engagement, she's lovely.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:43, Reply)
I liked it, but it was Joss Whedon just doing Firefly with a new cast.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:31, Reply)
And then killing them all off.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:32, Reply)
A lot of people give Alien 3 unnecessary stick to Alien 3 I reckon.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:20, Reply)
are we lead it off the road?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:23, Reply)
someone was talking at me.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:29, Reply)
Alien Vs Predator was a bit of popcorn fodder, really.
AVP2 was utter shite. You couldn't even see most of it, it was that dark.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:20, Reply)
I learnt my lesson with AvP

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:30, Reply)
Im a glutton for punishment

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:31, Reply)
Predators was equally disappointing.
Fingers crossed that franchise is now dead, before they ruin it any further.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:33, Reply)
There's a new one out next year...

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:46, Reply)
Yay more dry, gap-filling dialogue being muttered back and forth for the best part of 2+ hours with 2 or 3 chase bits.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:58, Reply)
Highlight of the film was Walton Goggins yelling "die, space faggot" whilst stabbing one of the Predators.
I can't see how they'll top that.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:05, Reply)
Fuck's sake.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:03, Reply)
monday is the day the new collection gets released from baselworld i just heard, and these are fucking stupid
www.prpsjeans.com/products/barracuda-extracting?variant=26620902665
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:33, Reply)
first skinny jeans, now this.
The new generation are a bunch of absolute shitcunts
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:36, Reply)
when they bring out a covered in shit pair mcbeef will be able to say he was rocking that look years ago

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:39, Reply)
My lawyers are standing by

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:10, Reply)
They're now openly designing and selling products aimed at Nathan Barley.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:39, Reply)
Like that spray-on mud for Chelsea tractors.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:43, Reply)
One of my mates went to try on some jeans in the changing rooms and found jizz in them. Pre-jizzed will be the next one you heard it here first.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:45, Reply)
Unisex sizing?
Shoe size is shoe size, surely? Me and the missus can swap shoes with impunity.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:36, Reply)
^ has ladyfeet

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:39, Reply)
He said shoes not feet

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:41, Reply)
Alright Dr Scholls

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:44, Reply)
Size 8 is Size 8, gender doesn't come into it.
My larger foot is 7.5, so I round up.

Back when she would wear heels, it wasn't unheard of for us to swap shoes at the end of the evening before walking home - I'm nothing of not gallant.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:42, Reply)
Lady feet are different
You skinny footed shoe slag
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:47, Reply)
I do have narrow feet.
Always made it difficult to buy trainers, when I was a kid.
Nonetheless, trainers are trainers - I don't think I've ever seen width measurements mentioned on a pair.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:53, Reply)
If I had the same sized feet as my missus I reckon I'd continually nick her slippers instead of finding mine.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:47, Reply)
My other half couldn't find her slippers if I tied then together and ran the string down her trouser legs.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:54, Reply)
My big toe is starting to poke out of the stitching on one of my moccasins.
#slipperchat top-tip, don't get a pair of north face down slippers, they make your feet absolutely stink.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:57, Reply)
I'm pretty solidly M&S, when it comes to slippers.
#oldman
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:59, Reply)
I've stayed away from them because my dad likes a good moan how in the 80's their slippers could go about 8 years but now he's lucky to get 2 out of them.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:03, Reply)
I can't recall ever getting more than a year from a pair of slippers.
My penchant for wearing them in the garden is probably partly to blame, though.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:05, Reply)
I'm never sure whether it's acceptable to wear them to the corner shop.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:06, Reply)
NO!
Used to see people in the Co-op who'd deemed it acceptable to pop in, dressed in onesie and slippers. Granted, they lived in the flats above the shop, but that violated even my low standards.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:19, Reply)
I wouldn't wear a onesie. It's just I can't be arsed putting socks on and lacing my boots up.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:23, Reply)
So, you're the target market for
www.offspring.co.uk/view/product/offspring_catalog/5,21/2404201158
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:27, Reply)
I don't like them.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:34, Reply)
No pleasing some people.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:39, Reply)
i have heard someone use the phrase "these are my going out pyjamas"

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:27, Reply)
I don't have pyjamas. Got some 'house trousers' though.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:34, Reply)
I have a pair of "lounge pants", but I wouldn't wear them outside.
Comfy, though, and oh so roomy. Plus, they have Sonic The Hedgehog on them.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:36, Reply)
Mine are a pair of fleece thermals.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:38, Reply)
My house is generally a fucking oven.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:41, Reply)
Mine are some 80s red Adidas tracksuit trousers

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:51, Reply)
I must have had these when I was still in school doing Duke of Edinburgh. They've got my surname written on the label in marker.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:56, Reply)
Alright, Ray Liotta in Goodfellas.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:11, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:31, Reply)
lol

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 17:10, Reply)
i have a demis roussos-style skirt/dress thing
that i wear around the house. comfy and loose, but i wouldn't be seen dead outside in it
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:37, Reply)
I regret losing my sarong.
Might have to get a new one.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:43, Reply)
Apparently the Australian term for these is 'comforts'

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:51, Reply)

comforts chuzzwungas
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:52, Reply)
i got ugg slippers as a christmas present
excellent upper and sole, but the glue holding the two together wasn't up to much. i love them, so i've duct taped the fuck out of them.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:03, Reply)
Make do & mend.
Good work.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:10, Reply)
never throw anything away if there's still a use for it

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:12, Reply)
Fucking hell those are horrendous shoes
I am very excited about this coming weekend
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:40, Reply)
Is this the marriage weekend?
Or is this storyline being dragged out a few more months?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:47, Reply)
It's going to be the actual honeymoon, not the one they went on for the family photos.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:53, Reply)
Nah that was a fortnight ago
But we've only just shipped off her parents back to Australia, we've not got my kid and it's my wife's birthday so we're going to SMASH IT UP rudeboy style
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:10, Reply)
*double thumbs up face*

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:20, Reply)
new record delivered today
might get to listen to it if my kids shut up for five minutes
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:52, Reply)
Dunno
Going to Paris in a couple of months, that'll be nice.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:53, Reply)
try some of the local specialities , as a treat
www.mcdonalds.fr/produits/petite-faim/ptit-hot-dog

www.mcdonalds.fr/produits/petite-faim/croque-mcdo
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:58, Reply)
dunno what this one is, maybe fillet o fish
www.mcdonalds.fr/produits/burgers/le-grilled-cheese-bacon
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:03, Reply)
off the hook

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
merci

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:05, Reply)
le croque McDo
mon dieu
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:05, Reply)
ordered in the style of agadoo

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:10, Reply)
That's one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:17, Reply)
Praise from Caesar

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:57, Reply)
i don't speak the lingo, so i don't know what you'll be eating , but it's french cuisine innit

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:07, Reply)
Royale with cheese, motherfucker

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:09, Reply)
me too, my father's passing through there in August so we're popping over for a few days to say hello

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:12, Reply)
try the big premium poo, or saink
www.mcdonalds.fr/produits/burgers/grand-premium-poulet
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:15, Reply)
Madrid Airport's McD's sells lager

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:57, Reply)
I miss when they did root beer :(

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:03, Reply)
it was barq's root beer, you can find tins over here sometimes, but coca cola stopped making it in the uk

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
thx hun xx

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:34, Reply)
i've had beers in french and spanish mc's, dunno if they still do it

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:06, Reply)
Burger King in Naples sells beer

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
and burger king is called hungry jacks in australia, the worlds mad

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:13, Reply)
I believe someone else had already registered Burger King over there so they couldn't use the name

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:31, Reply)
you can believe what you fucking like mate, i aint fucking having it

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:38, Reply)
Holy smokes
I'm there for a week from July 31st
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:37, Reply)
we're 8th-10th Aug I think

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:52, Reply)
oh
how very CONVENIENT
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:56, Reply)
WE THOUGHT SO
*hmph*
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:09, Reply)
I hope you have a nice time
*turns nose up*
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
not for him, they'll still be cleaning up the place after you leave

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:10, Reply)
They don't call it Gay Paris for nothing

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:11, Reply)
I think I will get myself a pair of each.
Price depending obviously
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:55, Reply)
They're sold as a set.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:02, Reply)
I am a dickhead

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:40, Reply)
Oh God I've started a shit but can't seem to get it all out.
This is how Elvis died. Oh God.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:22, Reply)
you are clearly not a mathematician
Or you'd work it out with a pencil
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:25, Reply)
work it out with a pencil

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:26, Reply)
Sharpen a pencil over your own head.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:32, Reply)
Just had to walk back to my desk with no feeling in my legs or feet.
Think I styled it out though.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:35, Reply)
Have you tried shoving a pencil up your hooplah?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:47, Reply)
kick a pencil up your dickhole

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:49, Reply)
PENCIL

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:52, Reply)
have a smoke and a coffee
that will drop out afterwards
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 16:01, Reply)
not sure

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 15:59, Reply)
mongy likes watch chat
so here are some pictures of watches.
And Gormo likes Nixie tubes so here's something for him.

What do you like looking at pictures of?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:05, Reply)
Are we allowed video and/or .gif answers?
Other than the obvious answer of 'nekkid chicks', I like those little YouTube shorts on master craftsmen at work: woodworking, potters, blacksmiths, that kind of thing. It's often very calming to watch.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:10, Reply)
Those are some very neat PCB's.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:10, Reply)
I had an idea for an actual money-making project that needed a PCB
and I drew it all in Eagle and then forgot, and now my Eagle subscription has run out and locked all my files and I just can't be arsed to redraw them all in KiCAD.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:16, Reply)
Crack eagle?
I think there are firms that'll do small runs of pcb's these days. Otherwise you had to etch it yourself or make a mess of one your sinks scrubbing it off in acid.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:28, Reply)
My plan was to draw the circuit diagram
then find some Indian on fiverrr to design the PCB based on it, then order a run of 20 or so.

It's a rebuild of a car part from 25 years ago that now sells for 1000 euro.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:30, Reply)

I had an idea for an actual money-making project that needed a PCB
and I drew it all in Eagle and then forgot, and

and locked all my files and I just can't be arsed to redraw them all in KiCAD. I don't know what Dan Dare's been up to
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:44, Reply)
\o/

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:52, Reply)
Totally worth it

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:43, Reply)
Your mama and your papa, and fat old uncle Charlie out cruising with their friends.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:16, Reply)
I only read the articles

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:18, Reply)

harry eng's bottles
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:19, Reply)
also, this has made me laugh today
streamable.com/hr0ge
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:20, Reply)
heh

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:22, Reply)
sonic the hedgehog stopped being funny 20 years ago m8

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:26, Reply)

31.media.tumblr.com/1ca216f6c7ffe3f0a5955773ef12dc9e/tumblr_muw6607lcL1sxudx7o1_250.gif
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:36, Reply)
have you seen the rock bottom simpsons mashups?
scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-0/p480x480/18118893_1412220632169416_3766722458365610059_n.jpg?oh=7187ccece8634e300aed2e3f13f91843&oe=597D7267
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:08, Reply)
i keep seeing ads for the facebook group
but i didn't bother clicking any. i did join 'curtis e. bear the courtesy bear' though
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:12, Reply)
this is funny cos sonic's over 20 years old now

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:29, Reply)
naked ladies

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:19, Reply)

alright snoop's head
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:22, Reply)
Lily

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:23, Reply)
+savage's tattered anus

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
your mama, taken by your papa a long time ago

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:28, Reply)
Apeman by the Kinks is unbelievably racist in a Mike Read kind of way.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:31, Reply)
I don't think that is the intention
or do you mean Ray's cod calypso voice?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:41, Reply)
Singing a song about being an ape in a pretend West Indian accent is a bit fucking dodge in my book
Singing a song in a pretend West Indian is in itself a bit fucking dodge ISN'T THAT RIGHT STING
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:55, Reply)
I dunno why pretending to do other accents is racist
It's just singing, it's not like the artist is actively taking the piss, other than being shit at the accent.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:08, Reply)
Great, so I can record a song called 'Ha So Velly Solly' in a ‘comedy chinky’ voice and it’ll be fine

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:17, Reply)
It was Mickey Rooney's "ching chong Chinaman" routine in Breakfast at Tiffany's that made me think "fuck this nonsense" and switch it off.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Deep Blue Something's lesser known b-sidezzzzzz

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:20, Reply)
Do it. Cunt

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
well no, because you're actively taking the piss, aren't you
But how many Brit bands out there put on a fake Yank accent to belt out their hits, and no-one bats an eyelid?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:22, Reply)
None

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:30, Reply)
bullshit

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:33, Reply)
I think this highlights who the real racist is here.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:36, Reply)
I'm perfectly comfortable being called a racist on here.
Living in a very openly racist country, I find this pussyfooting and kneejerk reactions about the issue rather amusing.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:41, Reply)
good for you

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
He's such a fucking racist, mano
It's like he's not even read the FAQs. Ban him immediately.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:52, Reply)
Judge Dread gets a pass though.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Oh, come on, Richard.
You get to be really racist on here, and never get called out on it. Let other people have their fun, too.

Not that I have any idea what you're banging on about. Pick on Steven Seagal doing reggae, instead. "Me wan tha' punani", indeed.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:44, Reply)
Ray Davies?
GAY Davies more like!
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
gay gayvies, even morer like

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
gay wee-wees

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:52, Reply)
steady on

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:00, Reply)
That's hilarious though.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:16, Reply)
I've seen him play live.
It was a hoot!
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:24, Reply)
I like Lola Versus Powerman.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:43, Reply)
my dad burnt all his photos of my mum a long time ago

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:34, Reply)
what is the point in that ? there are others who strip the watch movement to it's component parts and put it back together again

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:39, Reply)
fine, be like that

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
first one on the grey market, nice 6 1/2 grand uplift
www.chrono24.co.uk/rolex/oyster-perpetual-sea-dweller--cyclops-126600--id6188891.htm
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:13, Reply)
This and that

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:45, Reply)
disgusting

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 11:51, Reply)
Check out Mr. Official Secrets Act here.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:34, Reply)
Motorbikes and ladies bottoms

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:14, Reply)
Many motorcycle manufacturers are aware of this combination
and target their advertising accordingly.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:51, Reply)
My mates dad used to get free calendars off of the motor factors place.
Lorries and tits. Fantastic.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:59, Reply)
Cabs & Baps
Tits & Trailers

Haulage & Hooters
(, Fri 28 Apr 2017, 2:08, Reply)
I think both those fools have me on ignore. I can't imagine why.
I quite like car chat these days. I get to trade in my Audi next year so looking at new Audis currently.

Yes I am a wanker .
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:18, Reply)
don't bother with Audis
All you get are the highstressed high maintenance drama queen designs, and unless you get the dog's bollocks from the product catalogue then you'll be outperformed by an equivalent-sized Seat anyway.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:27, Reply)
Nah I like me Audis I do.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:10, Reply)
I just dropped one of my fried eggs on top of the other egg and the yolk burst
Now I don't know if I should be sad I broke my runny egg, or happy that my other egg has double runny yolk.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:24, Reply)
you may as well give up the whole day as a write off and go back to bed until tomorrow

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:42, Reply)
Why were you stacking fried eggs?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:46, Reply)
gravity did it
the yolk fell off my fork
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
You have an eating disorder.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
wobblyforkitis :(

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:55, Reply)

www.voanews.com/a/smart-spoon-allows-parkinsons-sufferers-to-feed-themselves/1830217.html
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:18, Reply)
Do you think plain fag packets will put people off smoking?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:49, Reply)
nope

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:50, Reply)
Look at this
twitter.com/NWALegends/status/857025303348162560/photo/1

Professor Tanaka was 'Subzero' in Running Man, '80's-wrestler-turned-actor' fans.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:06, Reply)
oh my
pbs.twimg.com/media/C8xzZs8XUAE41JX.jpg:large
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:10, Reply)
mr america!
i can't believe it's been all this time and we STILL don't know who it was under the mask
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:13, Reply)
We can never really be sure

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:15, Reply)
No but eventually taxes might
Apparently in Australia 20 fags cost $40.

You've got to *really* like fags to pay that much
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
you get 25 fags in a pack in oz, and they are around 25 aus dollars for a pack of winfield

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:56, Reply)
Ah, 'by 2020' it says here
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/australia-cigarettes-price-pack-smoking-tax-hike-how-much-do-they-cost-a7308381.html
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:00, Reply)
Great way to get people bringing in tabs on the black market.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:17, Reply)
research from australia suggests that they do

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:51, Reply)
Maybe a little, as the tobacco companies will struggle to build any brand loyalty.
Anything to damage their marketability.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:53, Reply)
the ones over here are covered in really gruesome images
It's just made me want to buy them so I can collect the set.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:54, Reply)
my brother's 'hilarious' trick used to be to ask how much the smoking monkey posters were, from the animal rights protesters

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:56, Reply)
What a card!

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:04, Reply)
Are they actual pictures or haunting artists conceptions like their film posters?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:18, Reply)

bi.gazeta.pl/im/52/6d/10/z17224274IE,Zdjecia-ostrzegajace-przed-skutkami-palenia--zesta.jpg
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:36, Reply)
Same as over here, then.
Probably an EU thing.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:56, Reply)
i like the one with the baby having a fag

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:09, Reply)
in the way that the high chance of a slow painful death didn't?
yeah maybe
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:55, Reply)
my mum died of lung cancer in 30 days from diagnosis, not that slow compared to something like mnd

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 12:58, Reply)
true, probably quite unpleasant though
poor mum
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:11, Reply)
She died they day after i went to chessington , might put that on trip advisor

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:16, Reply)
I hope they offered you your money back

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:21, Reply)
ok, so it's a 'no', 'yes' and 'maybe'
thanks everyone
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:02, Reply)
Nah, it's another half-arsed measure because they're bad at pretending they don't want the tax revenue.
If they actually wanted to stop smoking, they'd ban it or make fags cost £50 a pack.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:05, Reply)
I don't think you could ban it unless you got all global governments to agree to it at once
otherwise people will just go to France for smokes and there'd be a huge black market for it.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:09, Reply)
although I'm amused at the thought of Mcbeef standing nervously in a dark London park
waiting to buy 20 B&H from some urban yoots
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:09, Reply)
Hahaha.
Even then I don't think that would stop it. Gak is basically illegal everywhere except Colombia and the global market seems to be doing just fine.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:14, Reply)
Unregulated and untaxed, though.
That's not good.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:29, Reply)
Tax increases, marketing bans, and assorted health information campaigns have seen smoking becoming less popular.
I think we're doing the right thing by steadily reducing the demand (if there's one lesson from The War On Drugs™, it's that tackling the supply end of the equation is pointless).
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:23, Reply)
So the unofficial approach appears to be "we can't stop it entirely, so let's just minimise it."

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:24, Reply)
Minimise it until it eventually goes away.
It's win/win: public health is improved, but no government has to be the one that banned it.
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:28, Reply)
Pneumonia chat
I still have shadowing on my lungs :-( however the docs think this is residual pneumonia.

I also have ANOTHER chest infection which the docs seems to suggest is "normal" for patients recovering from pneumonia.

More antibiotics, more steroids, more pain killers (lonely lovely tramadol)
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:11, Reply)
This whole 'wiping out your immune system through binge drinking' project still going according to plan then?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:33, Reply)
Nope. Quit everything. About 8 weeks now. Even quit smoking which I didn't think I would ever actually do.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:40, Reply)
Good on you, in that case.

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:50, Reply)
Cheers

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:53, Reply)
my many knitted things

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:45, Reply)
Do you have a site S+M?

(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:46, Reply)
no, i just put pics on fb sometimes
i have a habit of destroying older blankets when i need the wool for a new one
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 13:53, Reply)
Ah I don't use Facebook, but I may be interested in having one made perhaps.
Do you do requests and what are your prices etc?
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:05, Reply)
i do do requests
but i have about 4 months of knitting to do first. price depends on size, variety of colours used and how expensive the wool is. i'm currently heading this week's image challenge with a squid blanket
(, Thu 27 Apr 2017, 14:24, Reply)

Post a new message | View older messages | Popular | Search