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I'd just like to remind you all that JMG is bald and dole and lives with his mum.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:45, Reply)
JMG

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:54, Reply)
rude

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:56, Reply)
And yet he's the hero we deserve.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:01, Reply)
Says more about us than it does about him, tbh.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:30, Reply)
She should buy him a wig

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:10, Reply)
Are these qualities that should be mocked

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:54, Reply)
cool, i'm glad we had this thread
it went brilliantly
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:59, Reply)
Thank you for your support, manolith.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:19, Reply)
you're welcome

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Kate's about to shit out a baby

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:27, Reply)
i hope it's like, an octopus or something
that'd liven shit up
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:29, Reply)
Komodo dragon

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:30, Reply)
I hope Will comes out of the hospital holding it by it's leg
and grabs his crotch and says "I made this with this."
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:31, Reply)
she's doing it wrong

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
I'm in Suffolk
It's not great
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:34, Reply)
Go to Southwold
I got absolutely pissed there once and somehow managed to get back to the holiday let. Sans-culottes as the french say
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:40, Reply)
Just treated myself to a delicious home cooked lunch.
And by home I mean work, and by cooked I mean added to a cup of boiled water, and by delicious I mean alright.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
so that's the end of the nice weather, I guess
what else is never coming back?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:28, Reply)
Hitler

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:30, Reply)
Phew! Well that's a relief!
He was a right cunt!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:57, Reply)
dressed well tho

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:31, Reply)
oh yeah
lookin' sharp there, big A
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
still pretty sunny here, just not as warm
and disco is never coming back
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:33, Reply)
All this retro stuff at the moment and no flares to be seen.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:39, Reply)
Disco never went away M8

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:57, Reply)
like thrush

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
I don't
it's too itchy
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:06, Reply)
Backstreet

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:35, Reply)
I tell a lie, wikipedia says they're still going

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:36, Reply)
alright

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
I think my hairline is going back.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:39, Reply)
happens to the best of us, m8

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
The Littlest Hobo

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:52, Reply)
BJ and The Bear

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
CHiPS

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
Street Hawk

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:59, Reply)
Blue Thunder

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:59, Reply)
fucken Airwolf

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:59, Reply)
Automan

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:10, Reply)
I have an Automan action figure
there
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:14, Reply)
Nice.
Manimal?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:17, Reply)
I loved Manimal
They should remake that
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:18, Reply)
The Fall Guy

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:30, Reply)
Ah, the unknown stuntman

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:32, Reply)
Didn't much care for that.
Rather watch Rockford Files.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:50, Reply)
JMG
but let's have a thread about him anyway
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:59, Reply)
morning
limited service availability this week: talk amongst yourselves. Or among. Lol, a mong.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 6:18, Reply)
moRning

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:20, Reply)
Alright, Ricky Gervais.

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:35, Reply)
first insult that genuinely hurt :(

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:46, Reply)
Morning!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:48, Reply)
^unnaturally sprightly due to MASSIVE painkillers

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:49, Reply)
I did take a dihydracodine last nigh
bit woozy now
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:50, Reply)
and are you remebering that you cant text for a while?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:22, Reply)
texting with fingers is annoyin
and i am having issues with the typings
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 11:31, Reply)
bum

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:50, Reply)
uife, oh uife

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:53, Reply)
Morning
I've run out of sugar and now I'm reduced to using sweeteners. They're horrible.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:51, Reply)
It's probably for the best

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:20, Reply)
It's best for everyone if I get my coffee

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:30, Reply)
Woke up last night because I heard a bang
Thought I must have dreamed it but I just found out a guy got shot in the next street. Getting a bit too close for comfort.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:00, Reply)
what!

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
There have been 4 shootings recently
Each one closer to me but this is a bit much
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
where do you live?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:12, Reply)
Liverpool/ Sefton border area
It's usually quiet here
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:28, Reply)
I used to live in quite a shite part of Leeds
I moved there from Hull. Never had a doorstep shooting though
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:36, Reply)
It's getting worse by the day
I can't move right now as it is more upheaval than I want to deal with, but I have started thinking seriously about it.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:40, Reply)
Where would you move to?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:42, Reply)
Given a choice, Dorset
But crossens is nice and quiet
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:54, Reply)
Poop

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:25, Reply)
Weep

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:33, Reply)
happy St George's Day to our Cappadocian boarder's

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:33, Reply)
cheers

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:36, Reply)
hey

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:44, Reply)
+, I'm gay for pay

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:45, Reply)
gotta get that skrilla, son

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:47, Reply)
2day shud b bank holday 4 tru patriots
share if u agree
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:52, Reply)
I wonder how the patriotic sun newspaper have covered it this year?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:54, Reply)
terribly no doubt

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:09, Reply)

www.thesun.co.uk/news/politics/6117584/labour-ashamed-of-saying-england/
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:13, Reply)
I'm ashamed of the fucking Sun

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:14, Reply)
do you own it?

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:18, Reply)
don't be ashamed of it
protest it, boycott it, but don't feel shame.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:19, Reply)
It's very popular in the workshop

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:10, Reply)
It's popular everywhere
People only buy newspapers that reflect their own opinions. Many of us don't like having our views or opinions challenged, so it's easier to just go with the devil you know. The Mail is worse, I'd say. I mean, all papers have an agenda, but the mail is disgraceful.
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:18, Reply)
no
I'm not a billionaire tyrant
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:19, Reply)
fuck st george

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:08, Reply)
I like St George.
He's the reason we'll be closing off the main road through town and having a march, on Sunday. Who doesn't love a march?
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:15, Reply)
good point
I love St George now!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 10:19, Reply)
Reading this to the tune of wonderwall

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:59, Reply)
Morning.
I'm off work today due to being ab it under the weather
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 9:07, Reply)
Look what I did to myself THIS TIME!
imgur.com/a/1KSDl68
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:12, Reply)
Upon whom did you snitch?

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:16, Reply)
Pact coffee

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:24, Reply)
(I was trtying to change the glass in a caffiteire)
I'm getting a reputation for being accident prone...
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:25, Reply)
That's some excellent first world problems accident

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:32, Reply)
I love a stitched gash
And blue latex.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 22:59, Reply)
You cack handed goon

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 23:24, Reply)
Well, you say that
but after my next poo I'm going to have to wipe my bum with the loo roll in my left hand
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 7:49, Reply)
that'll take a day or two to heal

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 0:28, Reply)
I'm looking forward to taking out the stitches myself
I'm getting good at it now!
(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:37, Reply)
will all great neptune's ocean etc

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 0:39, Reply)
Who would have thought the old man etc

(, Mon 23 Apr 2018, 8:59, Reply)
Afternoon all!
anyone doing anything exciting today?
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:05, Reply)
I'm in the pub , roll on next week when all the solar powered boozers fuck off

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:20, Reply)
i could do with a pint myself

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:21, Reply)
Well don't come up here it's 10 minutes to get a drink

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:45, Reply)
closest pub to me now is the one where my dad works
full of crusties every sunday night, playing bingo and drinking guinness
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:57, Reply)
My plan to mount the baseboard for my projector screen came a cropper because the adhesive tape I got to hold it in place while I drilled the screw-holes wasn't strong enough.
I'm going to have to go and get some nails tomorrow; that'll do the trick.

In the meantime, I'm gaming and trying desperately to cool down before I go all Universal Soldier and short-circuit.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:51, Reply)
can't you get some decent adhesive?
tape isn't going to work, but surely glue would
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 16:59, Reply)
This stuff was supposed to be able to hold 120 kg.
The beams aren't all at the same height, though, so it makes anything contact adhesive-based a right pain in the arse. I'm just going to nail the fucker in place so I can sink the screw-holes, even if it means adding some slack to some of the screws to prevent the board from bending too much in the finished product.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:11, Reply)
Build a t out of timber to hold it on the ceiling , if it's not heavy a bit of two b one batten will do, cost you a quid

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:22, Reply)
I've got a length of triple-ply MDF that's nice and light and cuts/drills like cottage cheese.
Still needs holding in place tho'.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:39, Reply)
Like this
3.bp.blogspot.com/-beNANAU5oPY/VMAb2AImloI/AAAAAAAAB5k/7V4nqM5RmWw/s1600/DSC04111.JPG
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:48, Reply)
mystery pipe

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:52, Reply)
That's how I got addicted to crack

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:54, Reply)
Oh, right; got you.
Sound idea in theory. It would mean measuring and cutting to size to the nearest centimetre though and I've done enough of that over the past week.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:57, Reply)
You don't have to measure it at all
As long as it's taller than your floor-to-ceiling height, you just wedge it in. Stick a towel or cardboard under the bottom to protect your floor if necessary.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:14, Reply)
I gave up on the measuring 10mm or more

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:35, Reply)
/obvious tiny penis joke

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:50, Reply)
Couldn't you just mark the board with a pencil so you knew where to drill?

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:22, Reply)
I've done that; the problem is that the board is over 2 metres long so I can't hold it in place across the entire length by myself.
Hence the need to nail it in place while I take the measurements.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 17:37, Reply)
Looks like I'm in for a fight tonight
On again- off again lodger has decided she wants to come back tonight. I asked my mum why and it turns out she's mooched off my mum all month with the promise that she's pay her some keep on payday. She got paid yesterday and had to give every penny to her dealer and mum quite rightly told her to fuck off. She thinks she can come here and do the same to me.
She gonna get a surprise.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 18:09, Reply)
Get that barbed wire-wrapped baseball bat out now and show her you mean business.

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 18:12, Reply)
Do i have to?
I haven't cleaned the chunks off yet
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 18:15, Reply)
might have a belated birthday party for Rome

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 18:48, Reply)
Will there be a centurion in skimpy armour jumping out of a cake?

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 18:55, Reply)
yes

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:11, Reply)
I'm there

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:33, Reply)
I've been nude for an hour now

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:36, Reply)
My feet are nude
But nobody wants to see those fuckers
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:49, Reply)
They do in rome

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 19:50, Reply)
Kinky

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 20:21, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 5:34, Reply)
Morning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 8:43, Reply)
mOrning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 10:00, Reply)
Good morning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 10:21, Reply)
Yeah, like, morning, yeah.

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 10:54, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 11:09, Reply)
morning

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 11:37, Reply)
Evening from Xi'an.
I'm afraid b3ta isn't sufficiently dangerous for China to block it, rob should probably put some risqué jokes about Chairman Mao in the next newsletter to get valuable edgy cachet.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 11:37, Reply)

太好了
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 12:25, Reply)
Is it true what they say about chinky bird's fannies?

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 12:27, Reply)
Can't you just consult a medical journal, doctor.

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 12:50, Reply)
orly?
1. don't break the finger off another Terracotta figure
2. don't shit on Qin Shi Huang's mausoleum
3. eat some good food there, m8
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 12:48, Reply)
What does a Yamaha DD10 and a 1980's hedge have in common?
Poor quality bongo samples.
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 12:45, Reply)
This joke is nicher than a signed copy of Thus Spake Zarathustra

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 13:01, Reply)
ffs

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 15:23, Reply)
I like this.

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 14:03, Reply)
I think just over 12 hours was enough time to appreciate that thread. If you disagree or agree Gaz manolith, all feed back is welcome, alright

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:26, Reply)
He'
Have you started a new thread in memoriam of Verne Troyer?
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:49, Reply)
Verne Troyer's dead now. Some weird ones recently

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:49, Reply)
Bloody hell

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:51, Reply)
My lighter keeps giving me electric shocks
What's that all about?
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:52, Reply)
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:54, Reply)
If you can't tell, stay the fuck away from my smokes

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 22:00, Reply)
One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 22:06, Reply)
Donder and blitzen over here, m8

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:57, Reply)
Donder kebab, more like.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 22:07, Reply)
"Donder a Blikzem" is Afrikaans for 'beat up an arsehole'

(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 1:21, Reply)
As the slugs penetrate you'll feel a burning sensation.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 23:31, Reply)

rn mm
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 1:26, Reply)
alright

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:26, Reply)
Lol

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:27, Reply)
Dubs

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:29, Reply)
woah
now i feel less bad about the fact i forgot to check for replies
(, Sun 22 Apr 2018, 1:22, Reply)
Morning, I suppose.
Did everyone "blaze it" until the small hours?
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 9:23, Reply)

i.imgur.com/TYxuyrY.jpg
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 9:54, Reply)
can confirm

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 10:06, Reply)
Talk to Frank.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 10:19, Reply)
christ, just shut the fuck up will you, no one's reading all that shit you type

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 10:21, Reply)
Morning Horbs.
Weekend's looking like a corker.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 10:23, Reply)
Might see if I can make some eggs come out me stonner.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 10:57, Reply)
Had 2 joints and almost got run over
Reminded me why I don't smoke it much nowadays.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 11:44, Reply)
Was this before or after you couldn't feel your face?

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 12:50, Reply)
Plot twist: she's been a ghost the whole time.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 13:03, Reply)
Before
I had toothache and thought a joint or two would do me till my dental appointment.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 13:25, Reply)
NHS anaesthetists hate her!

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 13:34, Reply)
Shame
I like them.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 14:19, Reply)
House tidy, gammon in the slow cooker
stripped one of the chairs and put a coat of woodstain on it. Now I'm going to sit down for a bit before my sister arrives. #Weekending
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 14:08, Reply)
So basically you're sitting on wet woodstain waiting for a pig's corpse to burn.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 15:08, Reply)
pro tip: burn the uniform separately

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 15:32, Reply)
One could say that, yes
but should one?
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 15:45, Reply)
I don't trust the word if a bum-stained pig smoker

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
Boy meets girl zzzzz

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 18:56, Reply)
I had a gammon steak for tea last night, seeing as it's relevant.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 18:54, Reply)
How does one cure gammon?
I've got access to loads of cheap pig but I dunno how to make a chunk of leg meat taste like gammon.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 19:23, Reply)
dunno mate.
It's usually salted and smoked isn't it?

Edit:https://melissaknorris.com/howtosaltcureham/

The only meat I've cured has been beef. I made an excellent salt beef. Might give pastrami a go at some point.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 19:35, Reply)
Take it to the vet

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:15, Reply)
shalamar zzzzz

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 21:24, Reply)
I have a cold, and thanks to the mentalness of my wife and mother in law about germs they've quarantined me to the garden.
Which means I've been sitting in the sun with a beer while they deal with the baby and toddler.
Shame I feel too shit to properly enjoy this
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 20:10, Reply)
It's gonna suck when they lock you out overnight and the rain comes.

(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 20:53, Reply)
arrivederci Avicii

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:42, Reply)
Drugs?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:54, Reply)
yes please!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:54, Reply)
was a heavy drinker

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:00, Reply)
I've bought a harmonica.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:56, Reply)
You should play a selection of his greatest hits as a moving tribute.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:57, Reply)
If anyone tells you to soak it in whiskey or water ignore them
It used to be a way of getting loose combs to swell up and fit, not been necessary for decades and will fuck yer harp.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 21:50, Reply)
By 'it' I mean your sex organ

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 22:03, Reply)
Now you tell me

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 22:33, Reply)
yo, check this out
www.youtube.com/channel/UCMKkw87LSSoyKjVadIVRRSg/videos
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 23:22, Reply)
his music was pure shit
but the poor man was only 28
RIP
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:56, Reply)
Lot of this 'dying' thing going about these days isn't there?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:00, Reply)
might do it myself

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:00, Reply)
Who?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:05, Reply)
Richard mcbeef's favourite DJ

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:34, Reply)
Dude.
Harsh. Dude.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:52, Reply)
Christian 'the OC' O'Connell is dead?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 22:02, Reply)
Died after doing too many socks

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 23:05, Reply)
Garden's full of cunts again

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:21, Reply)
Hey, I hadn't cut the grass since last summer, so I really couldn't put it off any longer.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:50, Reply)
Did you have to do it naked?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 20:00, Reply)
alright 'harold parkette'

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 20:14, Reply)
wtf is wrong with 2018?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:37, Reply)
FIRST DODD THEN WINTON NOW WHOEVER THIS IS!!!!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 21:54, Reply)
you know it's strange how the human mind works,
i just saw a picture of some people with Down's Syndrome on Twitter and thought, i haven't looked at B3ta/talk for a few days i wonder what's going on there
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 19:42, Reply)
Because you love me, poor spacefish

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 20:52, Reply)
I read that on Reddit this afternoon and didn't have the faintest idea who he was.
Were massive drugs to blame?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 21:04, Reply)
They're not stating a cause of death on the news,
but it sounds like he drank himself to death.
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 7:26, Reply)

dr w +ed
(, Sat 21 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
4/7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-43826543
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:02, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:06, Reply)
5/7

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:21, Reply)
5/7

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:17, Reply)
don't care, drinking beer in the sun

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:20, Reply)
And there was 60 quid sitting waiting for me in the cash machine when I went to get money on the way here so I was all
frinkiac.com/video/S03E11/luFzQevkqFmFhq3ta1L6YwaJ918=.gif
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:22, Reply)
niiiiice

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:30, Reply)
I've been the prick who left their cash before
It's a bad feeling. Especially when you go to pay for your weed and don't have the scrilla
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:37, Reply)
free cash must be spent on hookers and blow, mustn't it?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:47, Reply)
Forty quid in the back burner
20 quid in a charity box. Redress the balance, Tangled.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:53, Reply)
aw but hookers and blow

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 17:23, Reply)
Liquor and whores , liquor and whores, cigarettes dope and mustard and baloney, liquor and whores

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:28, Reply)
3

www.buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/which-possible-illuminati-member-are-you?utm_term=.yvD9QKlWP#.mmx3WJxPq
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:23, Reply)
a better than usual 5/7
but still, fuck the quiz
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:30, Reply)
23

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:35, Reply)
no ta

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:36, Reply)
4/20
Haha.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:43, Reply)
I just got this text lol
Happy 420! It's international get high as fuck day. Deals on cali pots 2day only 70 quid.. Gorilla Glue or Peanut Butter
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:48, Reply)
lol
never heard of either of those
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:53, Reply)
Loads of peanut butter breath round here

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 17:01, Reply)
ffs kids today with their waki pot names

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 17:18, Reply)
I Google them, the gorilla glue sounds good

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 17:43, Reply)
Reefer madness.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:20, Reply)

R mcb
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 18:37, Reply)
Well that was great, we all had a bit of fun
but it is the weekend, so we really ought to have a brief rundown of everything we're doing over the next two days. Who wants to go first? Come on. Don't be shy.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:35, Reply)
I've got so much on my plate I'm not really sure where to start
Prepping for a funeral in another country is a bit manic, and then my tenants decided to move out with barely any notice, and the government's enforced a Sunday trading ban for the fucking sake of it so there's no time to get anything done.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:41, Reply)
keep your head up, Grrry
also always raise one hand with the backward-V-sign and the other doing the bird - a double flipper-offer
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:46, Reply)
I heard that using your thumb and two fingers to show the number 3
is well fucking rude in certain ex-yugoslavian countries
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:59, Reply)
looks like a gun

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:01, Reply)
Ah, sounds rough

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
the funeral itself won't be too bad
but the whole pallaver (sp?) of getting a toddler and a child seat onto a flight and into a rental car and driving from Luton to Dover and then tiptoeing around my divorced parents, autistic brother and estranged half-brother is a proper drain.

Still, pickled eggs and a cheeky pint in the sun, eh lads?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:59, Reply)
why does family life have to be so hard?
Well all the best. Hope it's as good as it can be.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
cheers m8

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:19, Reply)
seconded

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:04, Reply)
You'll be fine
you have the whole of /talk to provide you with endless love and support
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:56, Reply)
urgh gay

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:57, Reply)
Gay urge?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:09, Reply)
Pick my nose for a couple of minutes

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:41, Reply)
and delete threads, you sick fuck

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:44, Reply)
jesus christ his sort make me want to vomit

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:46, Reply)
fake post

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
I still want to know what the gay equivalent of nuns in porn is

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:04, Reply)
the catholic church

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:10, Reply)
monks?
Priests! I'd say priests.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:30, Reply)
he's not very bright is he

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:40, Reply)
I thought priests might bring back too many traumatic memories
because many of them are genuine sex pests.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:43, Reply)
can confirm

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:04, Reply)
I don't know what nuns in porn are/is
I've never seen a nun in any of the porn I watch. Never seen a priest or a monk either. It may not be about my brightness but my innocence and lack of worldly wisdom.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:41, Reply)
How many fists have you seen in one anus?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:59, Reply)
Dunno, I've stopped accepting your skype calls tbh

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 16:04, Reply)
Foreigner'zzzzz

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:36, Reply)
Let me give you some advice
Picking your nose is a lot like sex. You can make your point in less than 30 seconds. Any more than that is simply a waste of energy.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:49, Reply)
Thanks Swiss Tony

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
plezh

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:55, Reply)
do you wipe it on the curtains after?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:57, Reply)
I'll throw the first stone
my evening may consist of drinking the lone half of a whiskey I've got left. not sure.

(edit) I see others were more eager than I
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:42, Reply)
remember
You never drink alone when you believe in the Lord
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:50, Reply)
amen

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:51, Reply)
I don't want to go first

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:45, Reply)
No one ever does
but you really should give it a try. It'll give you an enormous sense of satisfaction
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:50, Reply)
meant to be partying tomorrow night, but i'm rethinking it
apart from that, quiet weekend of not going to bradford
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:48, Reply)
Hey, I'm not going to Bradford either!
SPOOKY
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:51, Reply)
we should get t-shirts made

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:59, Reply)
Stuff
Really really good stuff
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:57, Reply)
alright keybo

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:00, Reply)
Yo Grry
Ordered the Porsche Lego for my borther's 40th as thats what I've been told he wants. 2,000+ pieces to fuck about with.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:21, Reply)
That's a lot of swedish plastic m8
One Christmas I once dug through the family lego box and rebuilt my brother's favourite childhood kit, then ordered all the missing bits including a NOS box so that he could relieve his youth. That kit was worth shitloads back in the day and I made sure he only got the absolute pristine quality parts to rebuild it.

He just looked at the unwrapped gift, said "oh, ok" and never touched it again. Ungrateful swine.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:45, Reply)
BULLSHIT

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:05, Reply)
Alright, being a massive sexpest
:(
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:22, Reply)
I'm going to lie around in the sun
pretending my ankle is worse than it is so my missus brings me barbecued meats and exciting cocktails. She makes an excellent espresso martini.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:13, Reply)
that right there is a fucking plan

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:17, Reply)
hullo
here for dinner: www.brindisakitchens.com/restaurant/tapas-brindisa-shoreditch/

Home for records and shoe. Pub saturday and weather permitting bbq Sunday - going to do a Szechuan spiced duck. Not what I had originally planned for the weekend but it'll do.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:23, Reply)
thankfully I won't have to see The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
so I probably get pissed and do something else. Something I want to do rather someone else forcing me to do. Wankers
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:34, Reply)
and she never lets you see any of your friends!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:38, Reply)
she does and she's the breadwinner
everything's coming up Milhouse!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:27, Reply)
that really sounds like a shit film

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:41, Reply)
I saw a trailer for it at the cinema
Looks like the kind of twee wankery that my mother would enjoy
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:06, Reply)

I saw a trailer for it at the cinema
Looks like the kind of
I'm performing in an adult version of the classic pantomimes, and I'm playing a character called
that my mother would enjoy
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:11, Reply)
anything with a name that pretentious is usually terrible
but yeah, my mum wants to watch it
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:18, Reply)
honestly have no idea why she wants to watch it
unless she wants to lez off the female lead
then fair play
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:25, Reply)
Might have a piss

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 14:55, Reply)
do a small fart at the same time
trust me, it's fucking brilliant
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:05, Reply)
Good idea
Remember to replenish your fluids though. Important in this sort of weather.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:09, Reply)
cheers

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 15:30, Reply)
nooning GMT & #420blazeit all on one single day!
the sun is high and you should be too
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:00, Reply)
if you're a viper

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:02, Reply)

I am not
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:11, Reply)
+you vipe all the way

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:14, Reply)
Tunnel Snake's rule

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
we get it, you vipe.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:44, Reply)
tomorrow pet.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:12, Reply)
Yes, 20 slash 04, blaze it, hip young person.
Do you get to take an extra toke and four minutes past eight in the evening?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:12, Reply)
interesting fact:
it is always 04:20 somewhere
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:19, Reply)
There is the theory of the mobius
a twist in the fabric of space where it never gets as far as 4.21
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:22, Reply)
Thank you, Lieutenant Worf.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:58, Reply)
i think you'll find that's lieutenant commander

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:12, Reply)
Don't think he was promoted for another 6 years.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:21, Reply)
start of generations
but still
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:33, Reply)
I just finished the first season of Discovery
it was alright
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:35, Reply)
couldn't get into it at all

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:38, Reply)
just blaze it

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:29, Reply)
I honestly wouldn't know where to start.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:59, Reply)
Start with average homeboy

If you want to get blazed.

youtu.be/TXb6bjCCtuY
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:06, Reply)
oh

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:35, Reply)
i can't feel half my face

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:42, Reply)
FAST

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:43, Reply)
my speech hasn't been slurred since last night

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:49, Reply)

icantfeelhalfmyface
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:00, Reply)
Face! Arm! Speech! Time!
Also your head appears to be on fire.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:29, Reply)
damn flammable shampoo

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:41, Reply)
That's the way we like to fime

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:53, Reply)
take the other glove off, dipstick

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:49, Reply)
but it looks cool!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:55, Reply)
hee hee, shamone!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:04, Reply)
*shudders*

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 13:07, Reply)
I am bored.
Stuck outside driving a cherry picker for some architects to have a look at some windows. They are dull.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:07, Reply)
ask them how the weather is up there

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:10, Reply)
I can see the weather from down here you stupid.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:22, Reply)
well you could stand there in awe at the alumni that have entertained that very same architecture

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:47, Reply)
you could imagine Aung San Suu Kyi saying "Christ, they are some fackin' loverly windows."

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:48, Reply)
that's not all i could imagine aung san suu kyi doing
eh, eh, nudge nudge
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:52, Reply)
ah, I get ya
her shitting on the steps of Merton College, nice.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:54, Reply)
my dad's a Fellow of Merton
I don't know what that is tbh
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:01, Reply)
it means for he's a jolly good fellow

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:05, Reply)
Fellow of MNNEEEURGHton more like

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:07, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:10, Reply)
^

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:43, Reply)
he's mates with paul

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:09, Reply)
no one's mates with paul, m8

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:25, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:39, Reply)

paul Dorothy
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:29, Reply)

a Fellow of Mrs
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
I can imagine her being complicit in the persecution of Burma's Rohingya minority.
The dirty slut.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:56, Reply)
who cares about minorities

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:00, Reply)
The DUP
#little bit of politics
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:04, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
alright Dr Preference

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:28, Reply)
haha, remember his shit limericks?
god
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:55, Reply)
you laugh but he managed to bring down the stormont assembly*




*may not have been him
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 12:04, Reply)
Might go up and clear some of the climbing wisteria off.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:56, Reply)
you deserve a pay rise for going above and beyond the remit of your job

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:57, Reply)
RIP Arsene Wenger

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:14, Reply)
The problem with Wenger is he always tried to walk it in.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:24, Reply)
show bob and arsene

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:25, Reply)
ARSE AND WANGER MORE LIKE

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:59, Reply)
Must be awful, being outside in this glorious weather.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:16, Reply)
he's a ginge though m8, allergic ent they

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:18, Reply)
Factor 50 and a hard hat.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:22, Reply)
you can say helmet here m8, it's a safe space

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:25, Reply)

say be a
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:25, Reply)
You're a helmet

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:27, Reply)
well that's just rude

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:29, Reply)
True though

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:30, Reply)
I am also bored
I want to be barbecuing, not working.

My kid doesn't want to see me this weekend, so I am going to attempt to forget this via the medium of cognac, fine wines and enough shoe to open my own branch of Russell & Bromley.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:17, Reply)
That's a bit poo.
Is this the Ex being a wank?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:22, Reply)
yes, manipulation and coaching are in full effect
This is going to get much worse before it gets better - her mum will receive a letter from the court any day now and shit is going to kick the fuck off.

I am mentally preparing myself for not seeing the kid for a bit, and for her mum do everything she can to turn her against me. In the long run, though, once we're getting full weekends, we're going to do so many awesome things that the kid will understand why I've fought for it for so long.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:32, Reply)
As my mate Danno says "no painz, no gainz"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:37, Reply)
classic Danno!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:43, Reply)
most girls turn into their mothers eventually
you might be better off out of it
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:54, Reply)
Can confirm

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:04, Reply)
shit

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:05, Reply)
defo

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:06, Reply)
Let's all go up the pub , my shout

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:28, Reply)
I wish.
These pricks will be here all day
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:29, Reply)
You know that thing where you're driving and your passenger has a drink
and when they go to sip it you tap the brakes so that they spill their drink? Can you do that with the cherry picker?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:28, Reply)
Yes. Good idea

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:29, Reply)
It's raining gender unspecified architects, hallelujah, it's raining gender unspecified architects...

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:38, Reply)
One presents as a man, one presents as a woman.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:40, Reply)
Hallelujah.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 10:58, Reply)
Did you know there are 22 genders?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:00, Reply)
33 if you're an Aussie m8
www.lifehacker.com.au/2016/07/explained-the-33-gender-identities-recognised-by-the-2016-australian-sex-survey/
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:06, Reply)
just tell me which hole to stick it in

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:08, Reply)
*points at Richard's bum*

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:10, Reply)
It's not the cleanest thing, but I ain't got time to be fussy

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
which of us around this table can't say the same.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:14, Reply)
dorty feckers

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:13, Reply)
There's an awful lot of overlap in that list.
Probably an awful lot of bullshit, too, but I wouldn't want to disrespect anyone's sense of self.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:21, Reply)
yeah, i think the most sensible line of thought is always
'who gives a shit?'
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:24, Reply)
It's why people like Jordan Peterson have gained popularity

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:33, Reply)
i think they need to think of a different way of writing bi gender
because i read it as big ender
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:23, Reply)
"Queer. You like to be called 'Queer' right?"
"Yes. Or John"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:27, Reply)
It's Gay Lord to you.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:28, Reply)
zzzzap!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:39, Reply)
"We work hard, we play hard."

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:40, Reply)

frinkiac.com/video/S08E15/NDKxHB9NH07CFNgIYQdO2uqZonA=.gif
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:58, Reply)
end a little tiiiiime with me

(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:28, Reply)
"b'ender"
Job done.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2018, 11:28, Reply)

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