we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 89: "GIVE UP WANKING ... FOR THE BLIND"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* INTERVIEW - Wilf Lunn
* VIDEO - Dog vs Water
* CAMPAIGN - Wank Holiday Monday

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 89 - 23 May 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue89/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
-------------------------------------------------

: WILF LUNN INTERVIEW
  British Eccentric Speaks Out

  Mike Trinder writes -

  "I've always been a fan of Wilf Lunn, since
  I first saw him making a halitosis hat on
  kids TV in the 70s.

  "I thought I'd lost my treasured copy of his
  first book which told you how to make all sorts
  of useless stuff, so when I found it again I
  was determined to track him down and say hello.

  "A quick Google and email later, he phoned me 
  up at work. I've never been so happy."

  Read the interview. Wilf Lunn is one of
  Britain's greats...
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/wilflunn/


-------------------------------------------------

: DOG VS WATER
  B3ta goes "You've been framed"

  Grover Sanschagrin writes -

  "I've made this video of my friend Noma's dog
  attacking a pool pump. My friends laughed pretty
  good."
  
  Yay. We love this. You should all film your
  pets more often.
http://www.sportsshooter.com/port_popup.html?mem_id=35&i_id=42669


-------------------------------------------------

: SEND US YOUR BLOODY CASH
  So that we can spend it on b3ta

  Do you like what we do? You do know that we
  do it for love don't you? However running
  the site costs us money. Not in staff costs
  'cause we're stupid and work for free.

  The money is spent on our servers. We've just
  bought a second one and we really need your
  cash to support it.

  We can take paypal, direct transfers and
  cheques. Even £5 would be useful. Dig deep.
http://www.b3ta.com/features/appeal/


-------------------------------------------------

: WANK HOLIDAY MONDAY
  Give up masturbation for the blind.

  B3ta legends Manic and Koit have produced this
  lovely song and Flash video. It's very
  beautiful and it's about their love for online
  pornography. 

  The song also supports the "Wank Holiday Monday"
  campaign created by Nik Roope for the Royal
  National Institute of the Blind. 

  They haven't asked for this campaign but
  Nik is giving it to them anyway. Lucky them.
http://www.bloggerheads.com/jpeg/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Balls, Jpegs, Art Quiz, Shit, Credit & Myra

  >> Throwy Ball Game <<
  "I made this game with a mate for a friend's
  band," mutters Quiet Phil, "You can play it by
  yourself but, as with all things in life, it's
  better with a partner." Yay. This is
  excellent, with innovative and intuitive
  game play.
http://www.athlete.mu/downloads/game.html


  >> Art or Arse <<
  "I made a quiz", squeals Margaret Nissen, 
  "wherein you have to guess whether stuff is art
  or just regular old crap from the net." Harder
  than it sounds. 
http://www.modestypanel.com/artorcrap/


  >> Shit on a Plate <<
  We get a lot of substandard entries for the
  newsletter. This is the worst. Electrichamster
  has sent in a photo of his flatmate Matt proudly
  displaying his own shit on a plate. Look at that
  smile - what mother could want more?
http://www.electrichamster.net/cantcookwontcook/turd1.jpg


  >> Share Your Credit Card Details <<
  Mr. Fancyteeth has had a brainwave. "I've
  noticed how everyone wants to publish all
  their personal credit card details on a
  website," he writes, "Well now, thanks to me,
  they can. And I'll animate them to the theme
  tune of 80's TV crime drama, Magnum PI."
  What could be better?
http://www.mycreditcarddetails.co.uk


  >> Myra Hindley In Space <<
  Big Brother is starting again. Luckily Brian
  Mung doesn't work for Endemol, otherwise it
  would be set in space, star Myra Hindley and
  look a lot like this.
http://www.brianmung.com/myra.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> I've Upgraded my C64 to Windows <<
  Computer case mods are quite a thing on the
  net. Here's our latest favourite. It uses old
  Commodore boxes to house modern PCs. Woo.
  We're like pigs in 80s shit.
http://www.mini-itx.com/projects.asp


  >> Free Holiday for Ladies <<
  Girls: Aged between 20 and 28? You can stay in
  Athens free of charge. You've got to shag the
  landlord, mind you. (Shame it's not real and
  the bloke is simply collecting material for
  a book.)
http://www.ezb8.com/default.asp


  >> Russian Conference Whores <<
  Men: Like looking at pretty ladies? Like
  laughing at bad translations of Russian mobile
  phone conferences? You're in the land of
  luck as this site combines both.
http://www.mobile-review.com/exhibition/svyaz2003-girls-en.shtml


  >> Ban Comic Sans Font <<
  Oh god. Don't tell us you don't know Comic
  Sans. It's the most revolting font ever made.
  You've seen it in parish church newsletters,
  on the side of vans and on shop hoardings. It
  must die. Join the campaign and register your
  disgust by covering your city with stickers.
http://www.bancomicsans.20megsfree.com/photos.html


  >> Jumping Cow Game <<
  Thank fuck for Tetra Pak. They make groovy
  packaging for milk. They've also commissioned this
  game. We have no idea why, we can't see the
  connection. But we do know that it's good. It's 
  plays like Mario in low gravity.
http://games.tetrapak.com/milkrunrun.php


  >> Pixel Art Tower <<
  This project has been doing the rounds of the
  design sites for a while now. They're asking
  designers to draw one story of a hi-rise block
  each. It would look wonderful printed on the
  wall of a child's bedroom. B3ta's designer
  Denise Wilton in there too - see if you can
  find her.
http://www.mrwong.de/myhouse/


  >> Hack This Site <<
  Here's a neat idea. Can you hack the this site?
  It presents a series of pages with passwords
  which get increasingly difficult. 
http://www.try2hack.nl/levels/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the X-Ray Vision Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted to see the world with
  X-Ray vision:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/xray/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'pollollups' to judge the
  entries - here are her 3 faves.

  Pollollups writes -

  #1 "Pantomime Horses - fantastic work and you
     can just hear those horses sniggering inside
     the costume. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/1237150

  #2 "American Muppets - I love beaker and this
     makes more sense than you can ever imagine
     (woowoowoo)
http://b3ta.com/board/1242708

  #3 "Recursive Chicken - clever clever and nicely
     done, but the joke is worth the effort. Would
     have won if it was animated." (sick_boy)
http://b3ta.com/board/1230104

  "Oh, and a special mention for Ijon Tichy's lego
  pirate thingy. We like."
http://b3ta.com/board/1223550


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Glis gave us
  the suggestion, "The Wonderful Adventures of
  Terry Wogan's Wig"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/wogan/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Bookish follow-ups on previous stories.

  * DOGS IN CARS - "A huge thank you to everyone
    who helped Dogs in Cars become the success
    it is", barks Jerome Turner, "We now have 300
    pictures of dogs. Woof! However, we are still
    trying to get the project published as a
    book." Good luck guys.
http://www.dogsincars.co.uk


  * MONKEY MAN - "We've been interviewed by the
    Sunday Telegraph," chirps CCC, "Richard &
    Judy have been in touch - Meridian TV want
    to do a slot, Private Eye (i.e. Ian Hislop)
    have read it and laughed and Loaded magazine
    are going to do a photoshoot. I am also
    planning to do a book, based on the whole
    affair." Er.. Again, good luck guys.
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/monkeyman/


  * ROGER MOORE SAYS YAY - Remember Dan Chambers'
    requiem flash? Dan writes - "Well blimey. I've
    been in contact with Roger Moore's PA and
    apparently the great man has seen the animation
    and enjoyed it enough to add a link to his
    website!" (Editor writes: Roger Moore grew up
    near to my Granddad in Streatham. My granddad
    lent him 25 shillings to buy a pair of shoes
    when he married his first wife. He still
    hasn't paid up. Roger, are you reading? Remember
    Douglas Gordon Harris? Hmmm? Don't you think
    it's time you coughed up?)
http://www.thetoiletonline.com/rogermoore.htm


-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * EXTREME PLUSH TOY ADVENTURES - we're always
    seeing little photostories that people have
    made featuring their soft toys. But they
    don't have the senses-shattering excitement
    and action we crave. Can you do better? Why
    not take your teddy bear to see a prostitute?
    And murder her?

  * PAYPAL STRIP TEASE - are you a sexy
    exhibitionist? You've seen all these cyber
    begging sites like savekaryn yeah? Why not
    offer to remove one item of clothing for
    every £100 you raise? C'mon it's net gold.

  * SAYITWITHPANTS.COM - imagine the warm glow
    of walking about wearing smalls imprinted
    with the phrase "the boss is a cunt." Your
    boss would never know. But you would. And
    you'd feel good. Mmmm, so good.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us. Even the crap
  stuff.


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Seaneeboy
  William Forde, mnb098mnb & Geoff Sloan.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the spooky b4ta kids. (66657)

-------------------------------------------------

  TIP: If you spill candlewax on fabric, let it
  harden and then take some brown paper and place
  it over the distressed material. A hot iron
  placed onto the paper will melt the wax into
  the paper, removing it from the fabric.

  And finally, goatse book cover:
http://www.joeclark.org/book/

next issue »
« previous issue