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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 83: "MAN MILK OR MOO MILK?"

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This Week:
* FILM - Money Stuck to Pavement
* QUIZ - Man Milk or Moo Milk?
* ANIM - Bunny Vs. Motörhead

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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|      web ... for pudding"

B3ta email 83 - 04 Apr 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue83/

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: MONEY STUCK TO THE GROUND
  Would you pick it up?

  "I've glued money to the pavement," writes Dex,
  "then filmed people trying to pick it up and put
  the results up for all to see."

  This is a classic trick, but it still works.
  Worth a look to laugh at the hapless passers-by.
http://www.robertsondex.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/moneyhigh.wmv


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: MAN MILK OR MOO MILK
  Can you tell?

  Barry Sonic writes -

  "What happened to all the b3ta quizzes? There
  hasn't been one for ages."

  Hmm. You want a quiz? You've got a quiz. This
  is the muckiest idea we could think up. Are
  you happy now? 
http://b3ta.com/man-milk-or-moo-milk/


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: B3TA PARTY
  London, Next Friday

  We're holding a party. Yes. A party. There
  will be drink. There will be people. It will
  rock.

  Come. It'll be the bestest thing ever.
http://www.b3ta.com/party/easter.gif


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Stalker girlfriends, Horse, Retro music & Xmas

  >> Angel of Doom <<
  "Me and my mate James have made an Angel of
  Doom", writes Joel Veitch, "You likey?" Yes
  we do Joel. It's utterly stupid.
http://www.rathergood.com/angel/


  >> Angry Bunny <<
  "I've got another Angry Bunny animation",
  writes Bean, "This one is called Music." Woo
  we love this stop motion animation style.
http://www.bubbleboggle.co.uk/angrybunny/music.html


  >> Bunny Boilers <<
  "I had the idea for the site", writes Chris
  Rayment, "after an unpleasant encounter with
  a psycho devil-bitch at university." He's
  looking for you to send him more stories
  about your experiences with the ladies of the
  mad.
http://www.bunny-boilers.com/ScaryStories.htm


  >> Stupid party invite <<
  "Here's a party invite I made for my pal Paul
  so he would come over and we could get drunk
  together." writes Xian, "It features Lilith Fair,
  a feminist music festival from North America."
  Why don't we get invites to get drunk like
  this? We love the bit with the horse.
http://www.uoguelph.ca/~alivings/invite.swf


  >> Retro Computer Game Pop Group <<
  "I'm a musician from Finland.", writes Junttila
  Tarkiainen, "I got tired of making serious rock
  music. I've started to make something for fun:
  music based on the bleeps and blops of oldskool
  video games." Woo hoo. We like this one. It's
  got a video that reminds us of Altern8. And
  lots of bass.
http://personal.inet.fi/taide/junttila/desert/ani/video5.htm


  >> Christmas Tree Love Story <<
  "I made this", writes Wol, "It's a bit mushy
  but it's got a wind pollination scene that's
  strangely arousing.... What do you reckon?"
  We're not sure. We were too busy masturbating.
http://www.halfgiraffe.com/redhot.html


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.


  >> 100 greatest April Fools <<
  Hmm. Pranks. We thought about closing b3ta for
  a day and replacing it with suicide note, but
  then we realised that we couldn't actually be
  arsed. Anyway this compendium of hoaxes through
  the years is a fantastic read.
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/top100.html


  >> Skippy Death Game << 
  Skipping is for girls. But what if the skipping
  rope was made of barbed wire? That would make
  it for boys. The game is a bit crap but it made
  us laugh. Which is what it's all about really.
http://server.riiska.ee/~anette/flash/barbjump.swf


  >> Photoshopping is CRIME <<
  Apparently a photographer from the LA Times has
  got the sack for using Photoshop. He put two war
  pictures together to make a more dramatic image.
  Then he got his marching orders for it.
  Interesting stuff.
http://www.latimes.com/news/custom/showcase/la-ednote_blurb.blurb


  >> AOL Sex Chat <<
  We like AOL chat things - they're a glimpse
  into a shady little world. A bit like watching
  the Jerry Springer show. This one's a touching
  tale of boy meets girl, with an unpleasant twist.
http://home.earthlink.net/~atawmic123/aol.txt

 
  >> Hull is shit - says Bill Drummond <<
  Remember the KLF? They were top. They made a
  handful of storming records, earned tonnes of
  cash and then burnt it. Where are they now?
  Well Bill Drummond is making road signs that
  speak the truth. Good on him.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/999293


  >> Meccano Post Office Tower <<
  Poor old Meccanno. It's got a bit of an image
  problem. The cool kids use Mindstorm Lego
  and build gigantic battle robots. But hey,
  Meccanno still has its fans. This bloke
  has built a replica of London's Post Office
  Tower. It looks wicked. Although if he could
  film a giant kitten climbing up it then
  we'd be much happier.
http://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/dms/meccano/pope/bttower/


  >> Dogs in Dog Houses <<
  What do you get the dog who has everything? A
  little replica of your house to live in, that's
  what - obviously. Shame there isn't a shoebox
  for homeless people's dogs. Lazy cunts.
http://www.lapetitemaison.com/dh.html


  >> Stickmen Fuck Orgy <<
  We get sent this damn link every week. It 
  features stickmen shagging and rapping.
  Look - we're linking to it now. Stop sending
  it to us. Else we'll cut off your head and
  poo down your neck. And steal your hats. 
http://www.stanback.net/images/flash/bang.swf


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the "If Hitler Had Won" Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted to see what life would be
  like if Hitler had won the war:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/if-hitler-had-won-the-war/

  We asked B3ta boarder TheTruffleShuffle to
  judge the entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Mr TruffleShuffle writes -

  #1 "Pink Floyd album - Amazingly clever, and
     well done to boot.(bobodor)
http://b3ta.com/board/980254

  #2 "Rate My Hitler. Just ridiculous enough to
      be hilarious. It makes me giggle every
      time I see it. (Indole_Ring)
http://b3ta.com/board/979757

  #3 "Instant Hitler. Nice comment on the number
     of entries that were merely famous people
     with moustaches added." (munkt0n)
http://b3ta.com/board/986886


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, b3ta contributors popt_art and
  johnketleytheweatherman gave us the suggestion,
  "Modern Fairytales."
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/fairytales/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * WEEBL GETS PIE - long term readers will know
    all about Weebl's "Mmmm pie" cartoons. And now?
    The Square Pie Company have sent him some
    real pies to eat. They were very nice. You
    can read his review if you like.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/


  * B3TA CONTENT GETS FANCY PRIZE - "My Hamlet on
    PowerPoint won a D&AD design award", writes
    Brian Millar, "Proof they'll give one to any
    old shite." Oooh, someone get a saucer of milk.
http://baker-street.net/hamlet


  * EARLY B3TA PIONEER NACHO writes: "I've been
    working on a new SKY programme called
    Celebrity Shag Match. I've tried to get as
    much spong, pie and facial munting in as the
    scripts would allow." Check out some of
    her earlier work. She's been influential.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/profile.php?id=61


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * THROWING STUFF ON FIRES - Richard Cargill
    writes, "If you want true classic fire
    interaction, use a can of Anchor Squirty
    cream. They explode violently, covering
    everything within about a 50 yard radius
    with cream. Just like the end of
    Ghostbusters." We want to see this. Are you
    stupid enough to try this out? Make sure
    you video it and don't mention B3ta to
    the burns unit.

  * JCB JOUSTING - maybe your dad owns a couple
    of diggers? Wouldn't it be great to drive
    them at each other whilst holding huge poles?
    Ah. If only we had a budget for our dreams.

  * KITTEN BLOG - we can hardly pick up a paper
    without reading about blogs. Why doesn't
    someone please blog something real? Get
    a kitten. Call him Pixel. Photograph him
    each day. Write about his development.
    It would be a hit. C'mon! This stuff isn't
    hard - it just requires a bit of
    commitment. And a kitten.


  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Mattwew, Adam Greenfield,
  Steve Drayton and Pete Biggs.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the four b4ta's of the webpocalypse.
  (62268)

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