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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 81: "RE: YOUR QUERY"

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This Week:
* ANIM - Fatcat & Satan
* VIDEO - Punk Rock Hamsters
* PHOTOS - Stupid Animals

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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 81 - 21 Mar 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue81/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: SWEARING CAT CARTOON
  It's got cats and swearing. Yay.

  "I've been playing about making a cartoon"
  writes Rob Manuel, "It's about a big fat
  cat who lives with Satan. There's lots of 
  swearing in it too."
http://b3ta.com/trampoline/


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: PUNK ROCK HAMSTERS
  Are hamsters the new kittens?

  "I've made a small movie with a singing
  hamster", writes Grtz, "it's based on some
  videos I found on a Japanese site. Hope you
  like it." Wow. It's like the rathergood kitten
  videos made real.
http://212.204.227.6/hamsterwoede.mov


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: STUPID ANIMALS
  New site launched

  When we started B3ta we looked at a lot of
  sites for inspiration. One of our favourites
  was called Stupid Animals. We loved the
  simplicity and the humour: page upon page of
  cats and dogs looking really dumb. Tom - the
  site owner - has now bought a proper domain
  name and added even more spazzy creatures.
  If you live under a rock and haven't seen it
  then check it out. The internet doesn't get
  much better.
http://www.stupidanimals.co.uk/c1.html


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Silly people, Etch-a-sketch, Pikey PC

  >> The Silliest Photos in the World <<
  Cornholio. What does that mean? We know
  but we're not going to tell you. However
  we are going to tell you that if you type
  it into Google - you get the best photos
  ever, we've picked our favourites and put
  them here. Enjoy.
http://www.b3ta.com/features/cornholio/


  >> Etch-a-sketch <<
  ArnIIe has made an online version of the kids
  favourite, Etch-a-sketch. He's also holding
  a little competition where you can submit
  your own pictures. We're rubbish. We can only
  make it draw cocks. Can you do better?
http://www.arniie.com/sections/user/etch.php


  >> Pikey PC <<
  "I'm on spring break this week.", writes Alex
  Stevenson, "I've been bored out of my mind and
  thought up a nice little project to keep me
  busy." Wow. You know that case modification
  stuff where nerds turn standard PCs into 
  cool glowing boxes? This is better. This uses
  a cardboard box and looks absolutely crap.
http://hlatlas.com/misc/tehbox.html


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Monkeys! Disabled People! <<
  George is a quadriplegic. Poor sod. He can't
  even play a CD. However, George has a friend,
  a helpful capuchin monkey who can even mop
  his brow. Watch this touching video. Er.. and
  try not to think whether their intimate
  relationship extends further. 
http://www.helpinghandsmonkeys.org/gizmo.mov


  >> Realdoll Sex Orgy <<
  Yeah yeah. We've all seen the realdoll site
  with the scary latex sex dolls. But did you
  know that these products are actually a bit
  of a hit? And there's a thriving user
  community that discuss their usage and
  relationships with these dolls? This guy is 
  clearly a Norman Bates in waiting. He's got
  4 of the lovelies and er.. arranged
  them into a scene of a suburban lesbian orgy.
http://www.dollalbum.com/php-cgi/gallery2/Mygirls


  >> Strange Album Art <<
  Last week we featured albums that shouldn't
  be made. This week? We've found the covers.
  What a selection. Our favourite? This pre
  Brian Eno "Music to make automobiles by."
http://www.showandtellmusic.com/pages/galleries/gallery_a/VW.html


  >>  "I ripped out my teeth with pliers" << 
  Ouch! This silly lady fancies herself as
  an amateur dentist. The things people do
  on web cams eh? 
http://buggeroff.org/dental.html


  >> 24 hours of Porn <<
  Most porn videos are returned to the shop
  with the tape stopped just a few minutes into
  the action. Grant Stoddard theorises that a man
  may only watch 24 hours of porn in his life.
  He decided to do it in one day. Read his story.
http://www.nerve.com/regulars/ididitforscience/24hours/


  >> Superman, First Issue <<
  Someone has scanned in the first issue of the
  Superman comic from 1938. It's fascinating.
  Particularly the odd bits of period detail
  like the colouring in competition where you
  could win a whole $1.
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~UG02/yeung/actioncomics/cover.html


  >> UK Family Tree <<
  We think this is wicked. The people behind
  the famous friendsreunited website have a new
  thing. They're asking you to submit details
  about your family. What's in it for you?
  If enough people join in then we'll be able
  to find out how everybody in the UK is related
  to everyone else. Fascinating. How can we 
  say this stronger? Go there. Submit your
  details. Send it to your family. We want this
  site to work.
http://www.genesconnected.co.uk 


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Euphemisms Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted euphemisms:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/euphemisms/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Freddy Woo' to judge
  the entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Freddy writes -

  #1 "Wibbly Pig - for sheer rudeness & crudeness
  you can't go far wrong with this. (littlebean)
http://b3ta.com/board/930158

  #2 "Groovy furniture - one of the best images
  to use a random euphemism generator to 
  wander off into la-la-land. (jadeviper)
http://b3ta.com/board/921059

  #3 "Mouse Wheel - I'll never scroll again without
  thinking about this one." (yidaho)
http://b3ta.com/board/925029


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor 'Bovine' gave us
  the suggestion, "Seaside amusements"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/amusements/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * DAVE GORMAN IS PISSED OFF - a while back
    we interviewed Mr Gorman - a UK comedian most
    famous for his TV programme where he 
    searched for other people with the same
    name. He wants us to tell you to stop
    emailing him saying "I've found another
    Dave Gorman" Ok guys. His project is over.
    Stop it.
http://b3ta.com/board/931230/


  * MORE FREEBIES SENT IN - Amy Corbett from
    Five TV sent us a pre-release of a TV 
    show called "Spider Attack" with the
    message "too scary to watch it all ..."


  * ERRATUM - Contrary to last weeks claim,
    Switzerland is not in Northern Europe. B3ta
    wishes to apologise unreservedly to this
    nation of cuckoo fucking Nazi collaborators.


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * EXPLODING HEAD MAN - why not tape fireworks
    to your head and walk round a shopping
    centre? 

  * HUMILIATING YOUR MATES - why not record
    them singing in the shower? Or publish
    their dodgy teenage song writing? 

  * MORE FREEBIES - we like getting stuff in
    the post. We especially like films, toys
    and music. And guns.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
  apologies to David Stevenson.

  Stuff sent in by Daniel A. J, Madhat, Flibz,
  Tom Gregory, Fraser.
  
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. 
  Proofing by the b4ta bayowups. (61842)

  And Happy 40th Birthday on Sunday to Alasdair
  from Wales. His wife Lin says, "It would be a
  great birthday surprise if you could mention
  it." She also wrote something about sheep
  but we don't like to perpetuate national
  stereotypes. 

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