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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 57: "P45 ROULETTE"

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This Week:
- John B's American Girls
- Big Nosed Porn
- Weebl Special

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 57 - 20 Sept 2002

Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue57/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: P45 ROULETTE
  Get sacked. It's dead easy

  Brian Millar writes -

  "Lots of people are getting fired at the moment
  and I was wondering if there was a fairer way to
  decide who goes.

  "Then I thought... P45 roulette!"

  Simple really. You need a few co-workers with
  the sound turned up on their PCs. Each takes it
  in turn pressing a button.

  What happens next? Find out.
http://www.baker-street.net/p45roulette/

  
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 B3TA HALLOWEEN PARTY - keep Nov 1st free. It's
 going to be fun. More details soon.

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: AMERICAN GIRLS
  A Flash promo from Rathergood and John B

  Joel Veitch writes -

  "Do you remember my Jazz Kittens animation?
  The Latino tune was written by top d'n'b 
  producer John B.

  "He got in touch and asked me to do another.
  This one is about American girls and has
  Britney Spears in it.

  "It's the best thing ever."
http://www.american-girls.co.uk/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  War, Kittens, Cats, Wallpaper

  >> Highly Topical War Animation <<
  Mr Rayment has been worried about the
  prospects of war and what it might mean for
  his family. This animation reveals the
  worst-case scenario.
http://www.b3ta.co.uk/war/


  >> Kitten Painter <<
  Do you ever feel that Photoshop is limited
  by the lack of kittens? Help is at hand with
  DIYJoe's Kitten Painter. WARNING: results may
  contain kittens.
http://www.diyjoe.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/kittenpainter.html


  >> My Cat Sam - Animation <<
  Neal has been videoing his cat Sam and has turned
  short loops into this idiosyncratic animation.
  It's a window into a strange, mad little world.
http://www.gooberland.com/flash3/sam.php


  >> Get your wallpaper here <<
  Mister Alfie and Pickled Pizza have started 
  a site collecting images from the B3ta
  messageboard that are large enough to use as
  desktop wallpaper. You can also submit your own.
http://b3tanbackgrounds.blogspot.com


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Scary Bunny Man <<
  Eeek. It's a bloke in a skin tight lycra
  rabbit costume. He describes himself as "a
  self contained variety artist." We just think
  he likes the attention.
http://www.scottybunny.com/scottypics


  >> Favourite Coffee Mugs <<
  This bloke is asking for pictures of your
  favourite coffee mug with reasons why you like
  it. He's already got quite a selection.
http://www.grillboy.net/coffeecup/


  >> Inordinately Tricky Tank Game <<
  Tanks aren't supposed to be cute - but these
  ones are. Leap over landmines and shoot down
  planes, but you have to be pixel perfect to win.
http://snurl.com/4eq

 
  >> How long are you going to live? <<
  The New Scientist have made a neat little
  quiz to calculate your life expectancy. There
  is also a competition to win cryogenic storage 
  for your corpse. Er.. great!
http://www.newscientist.com/competition/quiz.jsp


  >> Big Nosed Porn <<
  The advent of Photoshop and the internet has
  been a boon to people with odd sexual
  predilections. This photoshopped gallery of
  Kate Winslet and her outsized hooter is a
  delight for those with... specialist interests.
http://www.pinocchia.com/galleries/showgallery.asp?galleryID=9


  >> Make a Moon <<
  This astronomy site features a little game where
  you try to get little moonlets to orbit the globe.
  It would be better with screams and explosions
  when your incompetence devastates the earth,
  but it's oddly pleasing.
http://www.colorado.edu/physics/2000/applets/satellites.html


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: BEST OF B3TA - WEEBL SPECIAL
  Celebrating his genius through his work

  You must know Weebl by now. His "when come back
  bring pie" has brought him fame beyond his
  wildest dreams. 

  Here are some little gems that don't feature 
  pie but are just as good.

  Weebl writes - 

  >> Badger Racing <<
  "I'm from Doncaster. They race badgers up
  there. I decided to improve this great sport
  by adding BOMBS.
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/badger.html


  >> Cheese Family <<
  "I love cheese. It inspires much of my art.
   This is my way of saying thank you.
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/cheese.htm


  >> Suicidal Super Puppy <<
  "I was addicted to Track'n'Field as a teenager.
   I thought I'd remake it with puppies. I got
   hundreds of complaints. But not from puppies. 
   They loved it."
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/puppy.html


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Unsafe For Children' Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted you to make unsafe toys:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/unsafetoys/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'workboresme' to judge the
  entries - here are her 3 faves.

Workboresme writes -


  #1 "Always Read The Small Print - Pure genius.
      That really is one sick dude which made me
     laugh my ass off. (diyjoe)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/3/3/3/5/0 

  #2 "Oh Now Come On Kids - A timeless moment
      that brings back childhood memories. Ah,
      the nostalgia. (Simon Wicks [Coo])
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/3/3/5/4/8 

  #3 "Apparently It's a Big Seller In the
      West Bank - Even these little tykes need
      some playtime too." (Minoltion )
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/3/3/4/0/3 


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Freddy Woo gave us
  the suggestion, "Safety First!"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/safetyfirst/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories

  * TATTOO NO SHOW - A couple of weeks back 
    Marc Needham asked you to supply designs for
    his new tattoo. And now? The wuss has wimped
    out. Loser.

  * MORE TEA-TIME TREATS - Nicey runs a site
    reviewing biscuits. Burtons are the latest to
    send him their delicious wares. Can we have
    some free stuff too please?

  * MORE PLACES WHERE B3TA IS BANNED - We've
    learned that RM SafetyNet (often installed
    on company networks to stop you enjoying
    yourself) is now blocking B3ta, along with
    Rathergood. Bastards.


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see you.

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes:

  * Animations, quizzes and games
  * Stuff that isn't shit
  * Stuff that is shit but funny

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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  THANKS: Links supplied by ProudClod, John
  MacFarlane, PornDungeon.
  David Stevenson and Fraser Lewry for helping 
  edit the issue.
  Mike for handling the image challenges. (45892)

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