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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 49: "PANDAS MUST DIE"

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This Week:
- Pandas must die
- Skive off work (again)
- Arty stuff

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 49 - 27 JUL 2002

Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue49/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: PANDAS MUST DIE
  Wrong but very funny.
  
  Corky and the Juice Pigs were a Canadian 
  comedy music band of the 90s. Their debut
  album "The Debut Album" featured a jaunty
  little number about Pandas. B3ta boarder
  Tomsk has made a pleasing and short
  animation to accompany it.
http://www.tomandphil.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/pandas/

  
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: SKIVE OFF WORKING
  By pretending that your computer is busy

  B3ta boarder Izb writes -

  "My mate Yoni Gibbs wrote this so that we
  could sit about and read the paper at work.

  "All it does is display a progress bar in a
  window. The idea is that you leave it running
  in front of whatever application you use every
  day and it looks like your waiting for the 
  computer to process some complex piece of work.

  "Your boss need never know the truth."
 
  BTW: This is a Windows application and
  needs unzipping before you can install it.
http://www.dynofoo.com/landfill/progress.zip


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: THE SEVENTH SEAL, PIE STYLE
  Arty films remade with silly jokes.

  The Seventh Seal was a movie made by the
  acclaimed director Ingmar Bergman in 1957.

  It dealt with a man seeking answers about
  life, death, and the existence of God as he
  plays chess against the Grim Reaper during
  the Black Plague.

  It didn't include pie. Until now.

  Weebl - the director the acclaimed "when
  come back bring pie" flash animations says
  of his version, "It's back and white and 
  very moving. Some people think it's the end
  of pie. It isn't. There's always more pie."
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/art.html


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Donkeys, Duran Duran, Pillows and Crap Banks.

  >> "I am a donkey" animation <<
  Spacefish likes donkeys. He's made a short
  song and animation to celebrate this. It's
  unsophisticated but has its own peculiar charm.
http://www.glastonbridge.co.uk/flash/donkey.swf


  >> Simon Le Bon <<
  Bloody hell - B3ta boarder LittleBean was
  reading a 1980 copy of the casting magazine
  Spotlight and came across this entry for
  Duran Duran singer Simon Le Bon. Apparently
  Simon sings and dances. We like it because
  his mouth looks really gammy. Big eyebrows too.
http://www.baker-street.net/archives/00000025.htm


  >> Pillow Dance Thing <<
  Gosh Weebl has been busy this week. Not only
  more pie, but he's made this lovely toy where
  you can make a pillow dance using your mouse.
  Weebl says, "My pillow is dancing to the Mouse
  on Mars track 'Actionist Respoke'. The dancing
  is based on my own dancing. I've learnt all
  my moves from playing Dance Revolution on the
  Playstation."
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/pillow.htm


  >> CrapWest <<
  B3ta reader James Kane is annoyed with his bank.
  He's started a small website and wants you to
  email him your bad experiences with your bank.
  There's not much on the site yet - but we're
  pretty sure that you can change that.
http://www.crapwest.com


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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY THIS WEEK
  Remote control car with video camera.

  What more can we say? It's a radio controlled
  car with a video camera on it. There's a little
  screen on the controller. You can see what the
  car sees - if it had eyes. It costs
  £199 and we want one.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?R38212C51
 

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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Dog Dolls <<
  Artist Lisa Pay makes dolls with dogs heads.
  They are disturbing and made us flinch -
  although they are meant to be cute.
http://www.pedigreesroyal.com/Dollydogs.htm


  >> Change the taste of your semen <<
  Sweet Release is a dietary supplement that
  will change the scent and taste of your semen.
  The site claims that "your semen will
  change from an unpleasant salty flavour to
  a delicious apple flavour." Does anybody
  fancy trying this out and getting back to us?
http://makeashorterlink.com/?A395126D


  >> Penis Gallery <<
  Satoki Nishida is a Japanese artist who takes
  photos of his penis dressed in dolls costumes.
  Some of them are in dresses and they actually
  look quite sweet. 
http://makeashorterlink.com/?E40D243D


  >> Scan your arse and send it to Rambo's mum <<
  Why? 'Cause she'll tell you your future - Yep.
  You heard right. For the bargain price of $100
  too. Is this the most tragic celebrity cash
  in ever? Graham Norton - are you reading this?
  Phone this woman now!
http://www.jacquelinestallone.com/reportsDocs/rumpology.html


  >> Rate my Implants <<
  The rate my x trend continues with this
  variation where you can look at women's breast
  implants and vote whether the surgeon has done
  a convincing job. BTW: a quick search on netcraft
  domain monitoring site shows that there are 425 
  ratemy sites registered.
http://www.ratemyimplants.com
                         

  >> Jet Powered Beer Cooler <<
  Beer loving Kiwi Simon Jansen has built a beer             
  cooler powered with a jet engine. The photos
  are great. Sadly this cooler doesn't fit into
  the back of his new car and he wants you to                
  give him a spare turbo - if you have one.
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/beer/


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: BOOTLEG MP3 OF THE WEEK
  Will Smith - Nod Ya Head (Mr Trick Lust for
  Aliens Mix)

  Each week we talk to the_dr at Boom Selection
  about his current favourite bootleg track.

  the_dr writes - 

  "Something nice for the sunshine: a bootleg
  megamix of Will Smith's latest rap over the
  top of classic rock riffs, loops and beats.
  Black Sabbath, Led Zep, Iggy Pop, AC/DC,
  Cypress Hill and The Fugees: wow. The best
  bootleg I've heard for months."
http://www.punkbreakz.force9.co.uk/audio/lustforaliens.mp3

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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from "Cute" Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted you to make the cutest 
  thing in the history of cuteness.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/cutestimageintheworld/

  We asked B3ta boarder Your Mum to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Your Mum writes -

  #1 "Nurse Kitten with pig tails - stomach
      thumpingly cute. (jboom)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/1/9/5/5/7/

  #2 "Multi-eyed kitten - It may be ugly,
      but its really trying to be our friend
      (Mc)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/6/1/3/4/

  #3 "Mouse bouncing on kitten - Respect to
      both parties for overcoming their
      differences to bring us 61k of cute.
      (Indole Ring)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/6/5/8/8/


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Monkeon gave us
  the suggestion, "what's the 8th wonder of the
  world?"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/eighthwonder/


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it.

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes

  * Nothing on geocities. We can't link to it.
    The traffic will make your site fall over.

  * Stuff you've found and photographed. Have you
    been to the zoo and worried the zebras?

  * YOUR latest websites and animations.
    TIP: Nothing too wordy. We're thick and
    don't like reading.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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  THANKS: David Stevenson, Lucy Reese, Denise
  Wilton, Fatbaob, Tomdog, Bruno, Muggs Demon,
  JefPK, Steph K, 39024.

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