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NEWSLETTER: "CHIROPRACTORS ARE BOGUS SPINE WIZARDS, SUE US IF YOU DARE"

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This Week:
* STUPID FIGHT - Who's got the dumbest followers?
* CUNT! - B3tan calls Cameron a cunt on ITV. YAYS!
* SOME KIND OF MUSIC QUIZ THING - yes, believe it
 
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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web... together"

B3ta email 424 - 16 Apr 2010

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue424/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: SPONSORED LINK
  Industry Trust

  Every time you buy a cinema ticket, DVD,
  Blu-ray disc or legal download your money goes
  back into the film and TV industry. Without
  your support there would be fewer great films
  and shows. Thanks for helping make the movies.
http://snurl.com/copyrightisace
 

  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
 Lots of bloody stuff woo hoo
 
  >> Rephotography project <<
  "I've been finding vintage photos of Epsom and
  reshooting them." blurts wjh31. Eventually we'd
  like to see a world-wide google map of this.
  It'd be like having a browser-based time
  machine.
http://epsomandewellrevisited.co.cc/


  >> Stupid Fight <<
  Kudos to Tom Scott, who has used SCIENCE to
  create a tool that determines whose Twitter
  followers are the most stupid. We've been
  amusing ourselves with pitching our friends
  against each other. Also @labour @conservatives
  and @libdems.
http://www.tomscott.com/stupidfight/

  BTW: Tom is also standing for Parliament. You
  should vote for him.
http://www.madcapntom.co.uk/


  >> Pop Ularity <<
  "Here is my music quiz site," chirps @echodeck.
  "It's a mashup of last.fm and Brucie's Play
  Your Cards Right." Can you guess which group is
  the best (ie. most popular)?
http://pop.ularity.co.uk


  >> Where Internet Hate Comes From <<
  "We've always loved this site for being hugely
  supportive of our web work," confesses
  tedriley74. "Recently Channel 4 finally trusted
  us to make sketches for the TV. Apologies for
  the plug - but we're very excited about it and
  thought we'd share the joy! Love you!" Well
  done, you guys - don't forget us now you're
  television millionaires! Oh, their show starts
  19th April, 11:35pm C4.
http://www.funnyordie.co.uk/videos/bacc487c0a/exclusive-happy-finish-net-hate


  >> Grand Theft Paedo: Vatican City <<
  "I just made this last night", writes
  chrisError,  "I think it's funny, you know it
  has Child Abuse in it and you play an ex-Nazi
  Youth Religious Leader, that's all funny yeah?"
  We got a couple of cheap laughs out of, but
  then we're catholic paedophiles too.
http://www.kill5.com/game.php?id=vatican_city


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Buzzwords

  Last week we asked you about the language that
  annoys you - personally we hate Facebook status
  updates that say sh!t and frickin' heck. Either
  don't swear or swear properly - this halfway
  house only makes us annoyed.
 
  Looks like a it was a popular subject for
  debate - over 1000 replies.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/buzzwords/

  * Calling the letter H 'haitch' rather than
 'aitch' = nasty and common. ( Bob Todd )
  * The misuse of the figure "4" to stand for
 "for". It's a horrible trend. (Enzyme)
  * English or English (UK) - via Sexy goat buman.
  * "There's no 'I' in 'teamwork'" ... to which a
   sotto voice from the back replied: "Aye, but's
   there's a 'u' in 'cunt'." (Scaryduck)

  >> This Week's Question: Advertising <<
  We'd like you to tell us about your favourite
  TV ads. Which is a nice fluffy subject and
  hopefully a respite from the crushing
  negativity of moaning about language.
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/adverts/


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: AND SPEAKING OF ADVERTISING 
  a Sponsored linky for a Facejacker

  Never trust a man in a mask. The serial wind-up
  merchant returns with brand new comedy
  Facejacker  Fri 10pm Channel 4: 
http://snurl.com/facejackeryeah


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> B3tan calls David Cameron a cunt on ITV <<
  An accidental broadcast of a facebook comment
  gets egg on his face, and we're just proud that
  such people post on our site. *wipes tear from
  eye*
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6774926


  >> Parent-child 5-minute drawing <<
  Awesome and yet lovely site, where families
  send in stuff they've very quickly drawn
  together. Mostly superheroes and dinosaurs.
http://5minutemarvels.wordpress.com/


  >> Lava lamp centrifuge <<
  Experiment to see whether a lava lamp would
  work in the heavier gravity of Jupiter. The
  real story though is that they built a massive,
  meccano centrifuge in the front room! Very
  brave.
http://neil.fraser.name/hardware/centrifuge/


  >> Porn Detector <<
  Pop this stick in a computer and it will tell
  you if there is now, or has ever been, any
  pornography on the hard drive. Only works on
  photos though, so your Jedward slash stash is
  still safe.
http://snurl.com/pornstick


  >> Babies in pumpkins <<
  Tiny, cute children photographed the instant
  they hatched from the baby-fruit. For that is
  where babies come from. 
http://snurl.com/pumpkinbaby


  >> For all your sound effects needs <<
  A one-stop shop for all your internet novelty
  sound requirements. Includes instantrimshot,
  sad trombone, "it's a trap!" & many, many more.
  This incredible website is not available in the
  shops but exclusively via clicking:
http://instantsfun.es/


 >> Ease your pedant pain <<
 Amusingly-written and illustrated post on
 visualisation techniques to ameliorate your
 discomfort as an internet grammar pedant.
http://snurl.com/alotisbetter


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  The chatroulette partner that never clicks next

  >> Creepy kids TV <<
  Canadian children's TV from the 1970s. It's all
  fine and above board but, holy crap, that
  presenter looks so dodgy!
http://snurl.com/thatsaprettyname


  >> Windows XP error music <<
  If only all system failures were this melodic.
  But nowhere near as long.
http://bit.ly/9lihBi


 >> Standing Cat IN BOOTS <<
 Sequel to last week's triumphant cat meme - this
 wins ONE MILLION INTERNETS!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Standing_Cat_IN_BOOTS


  >> "Hand Skills Game" prank <<
  Brilliant trick to try on someone down the pub.
  If you can pull it off and film it, it's
  fantastic.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hand_Skills_Game_prank


  >> Desktop skateboarders <<
  Cut-out skateboarders do tricks for your
  amusement in this cute, lo-fi offering.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Decent_Skateboard_Animation


  >> Star Wars Uncut - The Escape <<
  Completed scene from the total Star Wars
  reshoot project. Volunteers get 15 seconds of
  the movie to film any way they choose. Why not
  try taking acid and watching this?
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Star_Wars_the_escape_Uncut


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: FUNNY NAME CORNER 
  ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha HA!

  Laugh? We nearly started, but actually that was
  because of the brilliant comment of twitter
  describing last night's election debate as
  "worst Kraftwerk gig ever" but if you like your
  chuckles a little less politilol then grimmmy
  writes, "I know I know, you hate the section
  but, well, the masses like it. I found Dr Dick
  Chop. 'Dr. Richard (Dick) Chopp is well known
  in the Austin community for performing
  Vasectomies.' Really?"
http://www.urologyteam.com/?q=dr-richard-chopp


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Opposite Signs 

  Think laterally, and give us alternative 
  versions of classic signs or 
  instructions, using antonyms. Doesn't
  make sense? More info at
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/oppositesigns/


  >> Ongoing Challenge: The Election <<
  Four challenges that we'll keep open until 
  election day. Then we'll make some 
  funky graphs out of the entries - as 
  we'll have our own anti-election of 
  mockery. Who will be the most mocked?
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphotoshoplabour/
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphotoshoptories/
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphotoshoplibdems/
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/generalelectionphotoshopotherspoiltballot/   


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * BRAZLLIAN TRANNY - "She's deaf," points out
  TDub, "That's why she sounds so odd. I don't
  know what she's saying, though." OK, we feel
  bad now. Although it doesn't explain why she
  keeps on repeating the same thing.
http://snurl.com/omgweirdvoice


  * SWITCH OFF MODERN COMMS - Tim C points out,
  "An off switch for modern communications? Well,
  almost. This one doesn't kill your mobile, but
  everything else. It's big and red and you'll
  find it on your fuse-board, marked off..."


  * MURDER VIRUSES, we had a reply to this from
  someone much cleverer than us.
http://pastebin.com/q2rLZg8n


  * SWEDEMASON VS RICHARD MADELY - Swede writes,
  "got an email of Jack Madeley today saying his
  dad had sent him a link to the mash up.
  Apparently they were pissing themselves. At
  least he didn't do a Schofield on me, which is
  good of him." A Schofield is like a golden
  shower, only more silver.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI8OQXnkWIQ


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: FRIDAY GAME
  Oldie but goldie: Desktop Tower Defence

  Due to some recent client work we had to get
  our heads round a pitch that included the
  phrase "Desktop Tower Defence meets..." and
  although we'd played it a little bit when it
  came out, we thought it was time to really get
  to grips with it. Oh my fucking God - been so
  addicted this week that we're seeing little
  moving arrows with life bars when we close our
  eyes. If you've avoided this addiction then be
  warned, don't start now.
http://snurl.com/desktoptdpro


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Ah fuck that, instead we're changing our name
  to "tick here to validate card" and standing
  for parliament - here's our manifesto.

  * ALL CARS TO BE BANNED FROM LONDON - and let
  it be a push bike paradise.
  * THE UNDERCLASS BE GIVEN AS MUCH DRUGS AS THEY
  WANT - so they don't keep robbing people to get
  more.
  * A REPEAL OF DEBILL - and free miaow miaow for
  every child.
 
  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by JackAction,
  Erythrocyte, Mushroom, Sir Sand Goblin,
  @DY357LX, herman :D, PointlessCamel, mugwump,
  Michelle Obama's Stalker, dewie.
  Additional linkage and image challenge by 
  Fraser Lewry.
  Subjlols via emvee.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  
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  If God had a sense of humour, he would have
  written "I wish my wife was this dirty" in the
  sky by now. (Winston McCooney)
http://www.sickipedia.org/

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