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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 39: "H & CLAIRE, JAMIE THEAKSTON & THE WAR FISH"

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This Week:
- H & Claire from Steps game
- Jamie Theakston and the Magic Todger
- Official B3ta Screensaver - now with war fish

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B3ta email 39 - 17 MAY 2002 -   "We're saving the
                                web ... together"

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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: PLAY THE H AND CLAIRE FROM STEPS GAME
  And destroy your keyboard in the process.
  
  UK readers will be familiar with the pop group
  Steps, and may also be familiar with the old
  computer game Daley Thompson's Decathlon.

  Regular B3ta contributor Chthonic has combined
  them both into one fantastic game.

  Chthonic writes -

  "Since Steps split up I noticed that two of
  the members were working as a duo under the 
  name H and Claire. I was looking at their 
  website (don't ask) and saw that Claire was
  sitting in a yoga position.

  "I thought it would be fantastic if you could
  press two keys really quickly to make her
  levitate to spiritual enlightenment.

  "And so I turned it into a game. It's already
  broken half the keyboards in the office."

  It's truly a thing of wonder.
http://b3ta.com/claire/


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: THE RATHERGOOD CORNER
  Jamie and his Magic Todger.

  Joel Veitch runs a site called Rathergood.
  He's our mate and we love his deranged work.

  Joel writes - 

  "Do you remember Jamie and his Magic Torch?
  It was a UK kids cartoon in the late 70s. I
  remember it chiefly for its fantastic 
  music.

  "Recently I was reading the tabloids and
  I noticed that kids TV presenter Jamie
  Theakston had got into trouble with a
  prostitute.

  "I thought let's combine the two."

  So Joel did, filling his animation with
  lots of funny but unpleasant penis jokes.
http://www.rathergood.com/jamie/


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: NAME A BABY
  Yes, a real live baby.

  Stu Cook is an old B3ta friend who listened
  to our ideas when we were still at the stage of
  ranting drunkenly about websites in the pub.

  Stu and his wife are now having an baby and want
  you to name the new arrival.

  They are looking for to you email your
  suggestions and the best one will name their
  baby.

  How cool is that?
http://www.fatskier.com/baby/


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: B3TA SCREEN SAVER
  With upgraded fish.

  This week on the message board people have been
  photoshopping weaponry onto sea creatures.

  Board member Santexo has taken all these
  creations and turned them into a screen saver.

  It's the most relaxing thing in the world and
  looks utterly fantastic.

  If you click the link, you can preview the 
  animation in your browser before installing it
  on your PC.
  
  Do it - and do it now.
http://www.b3ta.com/screensaver/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1
  Blur, CowPigs & Musical Kittens.

  >> Song 2 misheard lyric animation <<
  B3ta board member Captain Kimbo has taken
  the Blur hit, Song 2 (the woo hoo! one), and
  purposely misheard the lyrics. It's a delight,
  and really sweet to see the band rendered
  in cartoon form.
http://kimbo-be-coo.com/song-2.html


  >> Cow Pig <<
  In a follow up his Punk Kittens, boarder Weebl
  has made this lovely animation of a cowpig
  flying through time. Beautiful. Can someone
  commission Weebl to make pop videos please?
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/cowpig.swf


  >> Interactive Musical Kittens <<
  French reader, Yomgaille, has made a tribute to
  techno with kittens. Each key plays a different
  musical loop and makes the kittens nod their
  heads. Cute.
http://www.yomgaille.com/bordel/kittens/


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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY
  Adopt a Polar Bear

  Many of our readers send us pictures of animals.
  We say "if you really care - put your money where
  your mouth is and adopt a polar bear."

  It only costs $25 - and sounds like a bargain 
  to us.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?T252153E


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2
  Shit = cash, McVeggie, Mr T, and B3ta Shop.


  >> How much does your shit cost? <<
  You're working for a living and you go for a 
  dump, how much of your companies money have you 
  wasted? Thank to B3ta reader, JBoom, you can
  now find out. He says, "It's great for having
  bets with mates to see how much you can cost
  your company."
http://www.jboom.com/shite-price/


  >> Ronald McDonald Anti Meat Animation<<
  Too late for the recent Ronald McDonald image
  challenge, reader Scott Ross has made a
  protest against the meat industry featuring
  Ronald McDonald.
http://samtripoli.home.mindspring.com/


  >> Mr T Goes For A Drive << 
  B3ta Boarder, Giblethead2000 has taken Mr T and
  the old Technohead track, I Want to be a Hippy
  and made a nice little flash video.
http://www.highlyillogical.org/mrtgoesforadrive/


  >> The B3ta Toy Shop <<
  Aaarrgghh...wasps! (yes, that's his name) has
  taken pictures from the message board and made
  a B3ta Toy Shop selling all the stuff we'd sell
  if we could be arsed to run a business.
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/longspanner/html/toyshop_b3ta.htm


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Twin Towers $20 bill thing <<
  If you fold up a $20 bill, you can make an
  image that looks like the Twin Towers burning.
  Spooky.
http://www.clydelewis.com/twenty.html


  >> Scary Michael Jackson Paintings <<
  Hells Bells! Czech artist Helena Kadlcikova
  is a scary lady. She's dedicated her life to
  painting child enthusiast, Michael Jackson.
http://fee.prostejov.cz/paintings_of_mj.htm


  >> Millennium Falcon in his back garden <<
  Film maker Dennis Ward has built a life-size
  model of the Millennium Falcon in his back
  garden. Respect.
http://www.mentalwardfilm.com/falcon1.htm


  >> Star Wars <<
  Long and nerdy, but interesting feature on why
  Darth Vader is good, and The Rebels were evil.
http://makeashorterlink.com/?D202153E


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: WRITE A POEM ABOUT A PENIS
  And get it featured in a comedy show.

  In response to the resent stage show, The
  Vagina Monologues, comedian Richard Herring
  is writing the Talking Cock show, and he needs
  your help.

  Herring writes -

  "I want to find ways to get men expressing
  themselves about that thing which is so dear
  to them and which they rarely talk about in
  a factual or honest sense."

  Yadda yadda yadda. He wants poems about cocks,
  so send him some.
rich@judy1.demon.co.uk.


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: BOOTLEG MP3 OF THE WEEK
  XTC Vs the C&C Music Factory

  Each week we talk to th_dr at Boom Selection
  to ask him about his favourite bootleg music
  that he's heard this week.

  th_dr writes - 

  "An American calling himself Stark Effect
  has made a bootleg featuring XTC and the
  C&C Music Factory. It's well mixed - taking
  two different tunes, and not just another
  acapella mixed with an instrumental."
http://makeashorterlink.com/?W1E1233E

  "Oh, and if you fancy buying some music,
  I suggest The Action Packed Mentalist Brings
  You The Fucking Jams, from Kid606. The male
  voice choir singing Radiohead's Creep is the
  freshest thing I've heard in months."
http://www.boomkat.com/item.cfm?merchID=7157


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from Bill Gates, New Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our tiny minds.

  Last week we wanted you to Photoshop Bill
  Gates
http://b3ta.com/challenge/billgates/

  >> Winners? <<

  #1 The Revenge of the Paper Clip (broon)
http://www.smacbroon.com/broon/b3ta/billpaper.gif

  #2 Bill Gates as a little fly (pdr)
http://www.itscorp.org/whatswrong/flygate.gif

  #3 Welcome to Gateshead (foot n mouth)
http://www.jimherbert.clara.net/b3ta/gateshead.jpg


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  In the light of the Buffy and Queen musicals,
  theatre is getting increasingly strange. We
  want you to design a poster for a new musical
  with an inappropriate theme.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/musical/


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEKS ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. This
  newsletter now reaches over 24,000 people - if
  you are in it, then people will see your stuff.
  It's that simple.

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes

  * Contacts for celebrity interviews
  * Reviews of weird stuff you've bought on-line
  * Real world projects - have YOU built something
    weird in your shed?
  * Games, animations and general malarkey.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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  Q:  Why does Edward Woodward have so many D's
      in his name?
  A:  Because otherwise he'd be Ewar Woowar.

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