we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 126: "BABY RHINOS!"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* GAME - Nigella Bites!
* ANIM - Life of the Yak
* PHOTOS - Chernobyl Ghost Town 

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web... together"

B3ta email 126 - 12 Mar 2004

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue126/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
-------------------------------------------------

  : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Heads, yaks, lemons, monsters and shouting 

  >> Nigella bites! << 
  What could be less challenging than a game
  based on helping Nigella Lawson bake a
  delicious pie? Ah, but what if a tragic baking
  accident had reduced her to a gibbering,
  floating, cannibalistic head? What if her
  hair was infested with hamsters? What then,
  dear reader? What then?? Proud creator Crazymum
  has not been taking the special brain medicine. 
http://www.crazymum.com/nigella.htm 


  >> Yak documentary << 
  Jim has clearly been busy, tracking and
  documenting the life-cycle of the mighty
  yak-beast. Look and learn. 
http://www.stuart.mitchell.zen.co.uk/images/flash/thelifeofyaks.html 


  >> Lemony pain << 
  How would you sell lemon juice? Talk about
  its refreshing taste? Mention its high
  Vitamin C content? Not for Demented Panda. 
  Oh no - he just squirts it directly up
  people's noses with a funnel. The joy of
  this video is watching the hapless actor,
  trying to endorse the product while
  spitting and weeping copiously. 
http://members.shaw.ca/indifferentmedia/files/lemonjuice.swf 


  >> Monster - a day in the life << 
  B3ta regular Rogan Josh makes a welcome return
  this week, with this charming, animated glimpse
  into the everyday business of giant radioactive 
  lizards. Influenced a little by the Power Puff
  Girls, but that's no bad thing, surely? 
http://www.roganjosh.co.uk/stuff/monster/ 


  >> Spazzy, shouting animal namer << 
  Hit the buttons with the animal's name, see
  its picture pop up. We don't know why, but
  this is very funny. B3ta blogger supreme Fraser 
  Lewry has been labouring mightily at Flash
  School for the last few weeks and this is the
  first fruit of his Herculean efforts. Go Fraser!
http://www.blogjam.com/flash/week6/ 


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA RADIO
  Old People Talking Bollocks

  This week we're asking you to send in your
  stories of the stupid but endearing things
  that old people say.
http://b3ta.com/questions/old_people_talk_bollocks/


  Oh and next week we've got Dave Rowntree -
  the drummer from Blur - coming in for a chat.
  He's here to promote his new animation series
  Empire Square - but hopefully we'll be able
  to get him to tap out his classic drum parts
  on the desk for your amusement.
http://www.empiresq.com/
   

  You can learn more about B3ta Radio and how
  to tune in here:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Channel 4 cuntfest <<
  UK readers will be familiar with the current C4
  branding campaign where they ask celebs
  questions such as "When did you lose your
  virginity?" Hot link - and fuck we've been
  emailed it about 8 times this morning - of the
  day is the version made for cinema release, but
  banned. The question? What's your favourite
  swearword. Our favourite bit? Judy Finnegan
  saying fuck. It's like seeing the Queen
  bum-raping a horse.
http://www.updater.co.uk/


  >> Tranny or granny <<
  Ah, the web. Why people put up personal photos
  of themselves in such compromising positions
  and not expect them to be emailed to all
  and sundry we'll never know. This one's a treat.
http://pettipond.com/laterimages/pinups/jennifer_62/pinup62.htm


  >> Chernobyl ghost town <<
  Wow. What could be better than being a young
  lady on a motorbike and cruising through
  the deserted streets of Chernobyl with
  a camera? You need to see these haunting
  photos. Oh and if you work in TV - we want
  a documentary on this now. It's fascinating.
http://www.ninja-assassin.com/mirror/Chernobyl/


  >> Spock & Kirk gay fan art <<
  Many writers have explored the homoerotic
  subtext to Shatner and Nimoy's Star Trek
  alter-egos. But thanks to these genius web
  artists we can now see it in the flesh. Make
  this your new wallpaper - live the dream.
http://www.thyla.com/fan-art.html


  >> Guess my name <<
  We're big fans of simplicity at b3ta. Too much
  stuff is overworked and underthunk. Conversely,
  this is ace: photos of ordinary people and
  you have to guess their name. The touch of
  genius is that the quiz stores your answer to
  create a straw poll on what random people think
  the person's name is. And the odd thing is - 
  more often than not they get it right.
  Conclusively proves people look like their names.
http://www.zerotv.com/namegame/answer_check.cfm


  >> I got Chris Rock's mobile <<
  Imagine you buy a new mobile and you find you've
  accidentally got a famous actor's old number.
  Read this charming story of the consequences.
http://www.laurasnyctales.com/current/chris-rock.html


  >> Bikes with one wheel <<
  Blimey. Take a look at these odd transport
  machines. We'll be laughing at the Segway in
  20 years time, and in the same way.
http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/TRANSPORT/motorwhl/motorwhl.htm


  >> Tattoo clothes <<
  Want to look like a urban fucktard without
  the expense or the pain of a full body
  tattoos? Buy these shirts. Scare your mum.
http://64.225.33.220/default.asp


  >> Ganster rap <<
  To those who say web animation has become
  bloated and over-worked we give you this.
  Visual economy and great timing make this
  flash video a demented treat.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shig.php


  >> Minimalist web video <<
  You thought the Asian one was low rent?
  Check this out. It managed to keep our
  interest simply by playing a great tune
  and making the browser wobble. Hell yeah!
  Fuck graphics - the cool kids are now
  working purely in the medium of movement.
http://www.backup-source.com/dubdub/


  >> Make your own George Bush posters <<
  He he. Big news in the blogging world this 
  week was the official George Bush campaign
  site that allows you to add your own text 
  to posters and print them out. Unsurprisingly
  putting such a tool into the hands of a
  naturally libertarian group such as bloggers
  has resulted in a small phenomenon of
  bastardised and subversive messages joyfully
  created with the very tools meant to promote
  Bush. Join in the fun and create your own
  posters here:
http://www.georgewbush.com/btl/CustomPoster.aspx?type=color


-------------------------------------------------

: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
  Baby Rhinos

  Increasingly we're understanding the
  psychology of cute. You like baby animals.
  We're not proud. You can have them - they
  fucking rock.

  This tiny, orphan rhino is gorgeous.
  Look - he's got a little jacket to keep
  him warm too. So sweet.
http://snipurl.com/52c1

  BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on
  the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Get Rich Quick Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted methods to Get Rich Quick:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/getrichquick/

  We asked b3ta boarder 'northern blerk' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Mr Northern Blerk writes -

  #1 "B3ta T-shirts - well, you can't launch your
     own T-Shirt brand and a competition for Get Rich
     Quick Schemes on the same week and not expect
     someone to take the piss. (Gype)
http://b3ta.com/board/2837677

  #2 "Zoo for the Blind - it's got Brian Blessed *and*
     bad taste! The perfect combination. (Sm0glane)
http://b3ta.com/board/2839689

  #3 "Dasani - it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't
     absolutely true! But it is, and is." (brianftang)
http://b3ta.com/board/2844839


  >> This week's challenge <<

  This week, the challenge dictator gave us
  the suggestion, "The Film of the Game"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/filmofthegame/


  >> Last week's results <<

  We buggered up in the results to the image
  challenge last week. Sorry about that.
  We're spazzers. Anyway. You can
  read them here:
http://www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue125/#line322


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.


  * BUFFY SWEARING KEYBOARD REVIEW - one of the
    odd things about the web is that if you create
    something successful then it never dies. Rob
    Manuel and Joel Veitch made the swearing
    keyboard - ooh - 3 years ago now. And it's
    still pissing people off. Read this review, that
    misses the point but doesn't fail to entertain.
http://b3ta.com/board/2870134

    Oh, and if you're a new subscriber. Here's
    the keyboard for the sake of context:
http://www2.b3ta.com/buffyswear/


  * MORE ON QUIZNO'S / RATHERGOOD - Got a spare
    15 minutes and some headphones? Listen to
    this radio news item on Joel's spongmonkeys
    and other web animation such as Strongbad.
    Best bit? Quizno's original owner expressing
    bewilderment about the ads. 
http://snipurl.com/51wt


  * IVOR THE ENGINE - in response to our link
    in last week's newsletter, "I wasted about two
    and a half hours of my company time," writes
    David Hamblin, "to make this paper model."
    Huzzah. Very lovely it is too.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2841193


------------------------------------------------- 

 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE 

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If 
  you are in it then people will see your stuff. 

  Things we'd really like to see include 

  * 3D HOT TUB - You know those 3D panoramic
    pictures, where you can turn in circles and
    look at mountains peaks as if you were
    really high up? Like to see that, but in a
    Jacuzzi, with sexy ladies. 

  * HOOVER ART - Spill loads of dirt and hoover
    it up into something interesting. If your
    mum catches you, just tell her you're
    expressing yourself. 

  * NEW PRODUCTS - Why oh why can't someone
    combine the power of cheese and of onion
    into one mighty, totally satisfying consumer
    product? Surely it's time for CHONIONS! 

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ 

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't 
  been featured then don't be put off - we look 
  at everything you send us. 


-------------------------------------------------

  Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
  Unsubscribe:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Paul Coombs, Brad,
  Pickup Stix, jamspoon and will munkeh
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the baby b4ta otters. (72038)

next issue »
« previous issue