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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 113: "A HEADMASTERLY ROCKET UP THE ARSE"

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This Week:
* VIDEO - Jim'll Fix-it for woo
* B3TA RADIO - Biggest lies
* RATHERGOOD - Fucking hell. More kittens


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___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 113 - 28 Nov 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue113/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Kittens, Robots, Jim'll Fix It, Touchy Game

  >> Jim'll Fix-it for woo <<
  To UK readers of a certain age, hearing the
  theme tune to the Jim'll Fix-it show will
  simply make you grin. Fnord has taken the song
  and added some of the best images that have
  recently appeared on our site to make something
  that... that just makes us go woo. (Requires
  RealPlayer.)
http://www.fnord.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/JimllFixItForWoo.ram


  >> Rathergood Kittens <<
  Joel has recently been making a TV show for C4
  called Rathergood Videos. To promote it he's
  returned to the stuff that made him famous
  in the first place: Singing Kittens. This one
  features Laibach and the Marching Kittens of
  Doom.
http://www.rathergood.com/laibach/


  >> Robots on the Rampage <<
  We've recently been rating Mystery Bob's work.
  Stuff like the HG Wells song. His latest is
  a series of cartoons about Robots. Our
  favourite? This Destruct-o-bot with a sweetly
  amusing pay off.
http://www.mysterybob.com/robots/rampage.htm


  >> Touchy game <<
  Monkeon makes the oddest games on the planet.
  He's one of few people attempting to
  bring genuine innovation to 5 minute flash
  gaming. The latest is a guessing game where you 
  use to mouse to "feel" a blank bit of the
  screen and try and work out which picture it
  is. We found it extremely tricky.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/pockets/ 


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: B3TA RADIO
  The biggest lie you ever told

  On this week's B3ta radio we're talking about
  the fibs you've spun to your gullible mates.

  Our favourite comes from ScaryDuck who writes:

  "We went a whole year at school telling the
  supply teacher we had for R.E. that Andy
  Harropp was in hospital in a coma and that
  the new boy's name (in reality Mr Harropp
  sitting there trying not to laugh) was Basil
  Clithopps.

  "For three entire terms Andy would hand in
  work in the fake Basil's workbook, while she
  would call the register and shake her head in
  pity when she got to Andy's name.

  "We would have gotten away with it too, if it
  wasn't for the small matter of end-of-year
  reports, where the whole ruse was rumbled,
  and Andy got a Headmasterly rocket up the
  arse."

  Read all the stories. It'll take you a couple
  of hours.
http://b3ta.com/board/2389325

  Or learn more about B3ta Radio and how to
  tune in:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Picasso drawing tool <<
  Want to draw like Picasso but lack the
  talent? Then this is right up your street.
http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html


  >> Flava Flav alarm clock <<
  Stuck what to buy the Nathan Barley in your
  life for Christmas? Why not try a Flava Flva
  alarm clock. (Note to team: Must start
  marketing our Cher "If I Could Turn Back
  Time" snooze clock.)
http://snurl.com/35tw


  >> Playboy tribute <<
  Playboy is celebrating 50 years selling
  photos of naked ladies. Comedian Sarah
  Silverman pays tribute with a harsh but
  hilarious verbal roasting of Hugh Hefner.
http://snurl.com/36et


  >> Buy Nothing Day <<
  The Buy Nothing Day people have got in touch
  to ask us to tell you not to buy any stuff
  on the 29th of November. Something about
  a protest against consumerism. Hopefully
  we're still allowed to buy beer and fags
  though.
http://www.buynothingday.co.uk


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Animals with Jobs Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted to see animals with jobs:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/animaljobs/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'icedragon' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  IceDragon writes -


  #1 "C'mon Guv - Woo to this wonderfully shopped
     image. This is so well done it's hard to tell
     if anything has actually been added - anyone
     care to phone animal rights? (ac-x)
http://b3ta.com/board/2374356

  #2 "Da Pimp Chimp - The expressions on these
     chimps are ace! Yet another classic image.
     (sick_boy)
http://b3ta.com/board/2370944

  #3 "Collie Job - Poor old Shep has no luck in
     finding a suitable job in this animated tale."
     (kitty cat)
http://b3ta.com/board/2384102

  Special mention must go to Dr Frank for this
  lovely window cleaning giraffe:
http://b3ta.com/board/2401380


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, the Challenge Dicator was back
  and gave us the suggestion, "The Drugs DO work"


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * NEXT OFFICIAL B3TA PARTY - booked for the
    13th of February 2004. Stick it in your
    diaries. We'll be making more noise about
    it nearer the event.


  * VICTORIAN INTERNET HIT - our challenge of a 
    couple of weeks ago is still causing
    amusement. Probably due it's net-related
    subject matter it's been the most "blogged"
    challenge we've ever held. If you didn't see
    this stuff the first time round then you're
    missing a treat:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/victorian/


  * NICECUPOFTEA ON TELLY AGAIN - Stu is going
    on Good Food Live on Tuesday to discuss
    Christmas selection biscuit tins.
    Set your videos.


  * B3TA NOMINATED FOR AWARD - B3ta has been
    nominated as an "Outstanding use of Broadband"
    by the International Visual Communication
    Association. We're not quite sure what this
    means but they sent us a very nice letter
    about it. 


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * CASH FOR KITTTENS - a stock photo website
    which pays you for uploading cute photos
    of cats.

  * BABE-ALON 5 PORN SITE - we've been thinking 
    that pretty ladies wearing prosthetic masks 
    would probably be a bit of a hit.

  * NEW TALENT - remember people. It's not about
    your artistic ability. It's about whether
    you can communicate an idea. Get involved.
    The world is an exciting place.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel.
  Top Tippery by Dutchbird
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the unpronouncable b4tas. (72559)

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  TOP TIP:
  Can't get a lid off a jar? Put your rubber
  gloves on for extra grippage.

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