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Best of the Board

... I'll just let that sink in for a minute
(Andy_R, Fri 24 Apr, 12:21, 12 replies)
Where do the majority of people swarming into this country come from? Wombs, that's where.

(spellingmistakescostlives, Fri 24 Apr, 11:50, 2 replies)

(alwayslostinsmoke, Thu 23 Apr, 21:06, 4 replies)
I'm Shappacus...

(AdrianJ, Thu 23 Apr, 2:01, 4 replies)
Tesco Value Profit.
EDIT In other news, this nearly made me choke on my sandwich. How stupid does he think we are?

(barryheadwound, Wed 22 Apr, 12:12, 2 replies)
you know all that missing Tesco money... I think I found it

(HappyToast, Wed 22 Apr, 11:25, 6 replies)
Piss off Postie...

(AdrianJ, Sun 19 Apr, 19:04, 6 replies)
How the election should be decided...

(AdrianJ, Sat 18 Apr, 18:07, 8 replies)
Devour b3ta newsletter 661, WITH YOUR EYE-MOUTHS. Revealed: The secrets of the Guardian Hivemind; the precise monetary value of your poo; the man database managers hate the most - and Katie Hopkins!
published by rob on 24th Apr at 5pm
Space Man I made this!
I always wanted you to goooooo into (see title)

See all 20 popular links (7 made popular today)
created by Wonchop on 26th Apr at 5pm
Question of the Week
The B3ta UK Manifesto
With the General Election nearly upon us, here's your chance to lay out your own manifesto for the UK. What would you do if you were in charge? Here's your chance to think big! (Or you can call for free hugs and chocolate biscuits. They're important too.)
Read all 44 stories (open)
asked by McChinaman on 23rd Apr at 5pm
Celebrity Death 2
We last dabbled in funny famous fatalities back in 2007 which means we've had 8 years of new z-list celebs to imagine terrible fates for.
Think up hilarious and possibly ironic endings to befall our idols and bring them to life with the power of photoshop.
See all 30 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 23rd Apr at 7am
Read b3ta newsletter 660, out now - featuring a rather amusing TripAdvizor thing, old but gold story that we're wondering if is even true and also that UKIP bloke who shouted about his smooth bottom. READ IT NOW.
published by rob on 17th Apr at 2pm
Question of the Week
Messing With Their Head
Gaslighting, mindfucks, call it what you will - what subtle ways have you messed with people? The pettier or more subtle the better.
Read all 57 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 16th Apr at 2pm
Photoshop the UK
www.geograph.org.uk/ is trying to photograph the whole of the UK, unsurprisingly most of the results are really dull. So go on tour, pick a favourite place and liven it up with the power of potatoshop.
See all 69 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 15th Apr at 8pm
Read B3ta newsletter 659 as you've never read it before. You probably *haven't* read it before but you should. Amazing story of the week (again), some weird ways people have hoaxed Wikipedia, plus everyone gathering round to laugh at 1980s technology.
Read newsletter 659
published by rob on 10th Apr at 7pm
Question of the Week
Shit Bosses
Shit bosses are the bane of your working life, from their self-defeating penny pinching to their questionable personal hygiene to their outright delusions and paranoia. Tell us about about the petty tyrants and jokers under whose jackboot you've groaned.
Read all 56 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 9th Apr at 3pm
Clickbait Film Posters
Film posters are designed to lure you in, but their old visual tricks have nothing on modern day clickbait headlines. Follow this link to see how some simple changes and tricks that only the experts know, will make pictures you won't believe!
See all 83 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 8th Apr at 7am
Read B3ta newsletter 658 - out now, containing the most unforgettable rude story you'll ever read. And a disturbingly titled book about the Krankies.
Read newsletter 658
published by rob on 3rd Apr at 5pm
Question of the Week
Changing Your Mind
monkeon writes, "People tend to seek things that back up already held beliefs, but what books, films, or real-life events have actually changed the way you think about a subject?"
Read all 34 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 2nd Apr at 3pm
Non Fiction Video Games
This week we're doing computer games based on real people, places and things. Insert Coin(s), press 1 up and lets play GTA Slough or Andrew Lansley's Sim Hospital.
See all 75 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 1st Apr at 10pm
We're really pleased to announce some B3ta changes:

1. Front page now mobile responsive - go on have a look on mobile or drag the right bit of your browser window and make the site narrow. Swish eh?

2. The images on the the 'best of the board' column can now be 600px wide. This allows you, dear artists, to use more pixels for your jokes. HISTORY FACT: When we launched it was 280 pixels wide, then 400px and now 600px. That means we've MORE THAN DOUBLED the width. Exciting!

3. We've now got a Facebook page - Welcome to 2009!

Despite being April 1st, this isn't a joke. If you've got any feedback then add it to this thread, and thanks to Ferret for doing the code. Huzzah.
posted by rob on 1st Apr at 10am
Election Posters
As we fast approach another election the propaganda posters are starting to appear. So we're setting another never ending image challenge going as a database for all the election poster bandwagons, past present and future. Who can forget "I've never voted Tory before" or "New Labour New Danger". Fill it up with your old ones, and feed in the new as they hit the presses.
See all 110 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 29th Mar at 5pm
It's time for B3ta newsletter 657! It's a really good one this week. We know we say that every week, but this week it's 100% true. Also, contains the absolute BEST Question of the Week story and a tricking superb Duran Duran article. READ IT
Read newsletter 657
published by rob on 27th Mar at 5pm
Question of the Week
Little Victories II
I once got bumped up to first class in the 90 minute leg of a 16 hour flight. Tell us about your insignificant little triumphs and minor victories. (Driving a Honda Accord doesn't count).
Read all 75 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 26th Mar at 12pm
Yay, the XFiles is coming back so lets have a week of Mulder, Scully, the paranormal and nutjob conspiracy theories. How will the show fit in to modern day, will Deep Throat contact them via the Dark Net and will GoPro cameras put an end to grainy alien footage?
See all 60 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 25th Mar at 6pm
B3ta newsletter 656 is available now for you to peruse with your cyber-monocles over, uh, robot toast. Pip pip! There's stuff about Blade Runner, terrifyingly awful housemates, and the answers to your every dream or whim of fleeting pleasure*.
Read newsletter 656
published by rob on 20th Mar at 7pm
Question of the Week
Sexual Disasters
We've all been there. Tormented by Mr Floppy. Unable to find a condom at 3am. Getting cramp just when you're getting a rhythm on. A 10/10 at 1am who mysteriously becomes into a swamp donkey at 10am. The walk of shame. Tell us the tales of your sexual disasters. We won't judge.
Read all 63 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 19th Mar at 5pm
Add B3ta on Facebook - ok about 8 years late but we've decided to make a Facebook page - in theory it'll show the frontpaged images and we'll also use it to announce newsletters, challenges and the Question of the Week.
posted by rob on 19th Mar at 2pm
Music Sequels
Films are always getting follow ups, songs and albums less so, lets fix this by making Music Sequels.
Imagine the marketing approval and listener disappointment of things like Nevermind 2 and Return to the Dark Side of the Moon.
See all 160 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 19th Mar at 7am
Explosions! Something about Apple! A man having sex with a toaster! Luke Haines! Explosions! Yes, it can only mean that B3ta newsletter 655 is out now! Call to action!
Read newsletter 655
published by rob on 13th Mar at 3pm
Question of the Week
Housemates From Hell III
I once had a flatmate who was so lazy he had a fungus growing in a cup in his bedroom - it was white and whispy so he nicknamed it "Albert". Tell us your tale of living with the disturbed, the odd, the fragile and the downright filthy.
Read all 64 stories (closed)
asked by McChinaman on 12th Mar at 5pm
You asked for new icons and you've got them - by Bloop, by Monkeon, & by Q4nobody. If you'd like them on your account then donate now.
posted by rob on 12th Mar at 12pm
Cats in films
We're doing cats in films this week. Recast classic movies with our feline friends and rewrite award winning screenplays from a cat perspective. Bonus points for filming your own cat and winning an Oscar.
See all 161 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 12th Mar at 7am
Spanking new B3ta newsletter 654 is ready for you to gzip into the archive of your choice. Featuring: Russell Brand choose your own adventure, very gory Disney-themed Claymation and a nazi wildebeest.
Read newsletter 654
published by rob on 6th Mar at 5pm
Combine old works of Art
We're raiding the art galleries and mashing up great masters this week. Pick two or more famous old paintings and stitch them together to create something new. Introduce Whistler's Mother to the Laughing Cavalier and sail Napoleon's fleet across the Hay Wain.
See all 100 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 4th Mar at 10pm
Stars of the past today
This week we're raising the celebrity dead and putting them to work. What sort of films would Charlie Chaplin make if he were shuffling about today, would Bob Ross ditch the brushes for a Wacom tablet and would Marilyn be flogging her arse on a reality show?
You tell us with pictures.
See all 82 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 26th Feb at 8am