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Crap

(MistahG, Mon 24 Nov, 17:18, 12 replies)
Perhaps they should have used a fucklift?

(Snappyuk, Sat 22 Nov, 11:05, 5 replies)
And I thought she had no talent.

(Penultimate Straw, Thu 20 Nov, 21:36, 13 replies)


(Fresh Water Mole, Mon 17 Nov, 20:13, 5 replies)
Batten down the hatches, Mates............gonna be a shit storm soon.

(atomic, Sun 16 Nov, 23:32, 8 replies)


(HappyToast, Thu 13 Nov, 15:33, 23 replies)
10 minutes to Wapner...

(VicBrown, Thu 13 Nov, 11:07, 4 replies)
Omnomnom

(parsons*, Wed 12 Nov, 14:10, 4 replies)
Use the Forks Luke!

(Q4nobody, Tue 11 Nov, 9:11, 11 replies)
Just been checking out Dapper Laughs' site on Wayback Machine.
He's been doing the same jokes since the 90s.




(monkeon, Sat 8 Nov, 22:23, 9 replies)
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Question of the Week
More Terrible Hotels
Actually paid to sleep somewhere that turned out to be less compfy, private or clean than the bench in the park outside? Tell us all about it.

Or perhaps you'd like to boast about getting upgraded to a sea-view suite next door to Stevie Wonder, like my colleague keeps doing? Over and over...
Read all 21 stories (open)
asked by chthonic on 27th Nov at 9am
Challenge
Art Damage
This week we're dealing with damaged art, from Cecilia Giménez's botched restoration of Ecce Homo to the Venus de Milo. Either damage the art yourself or fix a broken bit.
See all 34 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 27th Nov at 8am
Question of the Week
More nice things
Whoah. Where did those two weeks go? Normal service resumed

What is the nicest thing someone's done for you? Whether you thoroughly deserved it or it came out of the blue, tell us of heartwarming, selfless acts by others.

Failing that, what nice things have you done for other people, whether they liked it or not?
Read all 42 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 21st Nov at 5pm
first rule of robbery is always plan your escape route

See all 20 popular links (15 made popular today)
linked to by HappyToast on 27th Nov at 2pm
Newsletter
Did you think we had forgotten? Did you think we had forgiven? Behold now the terrible vengeance of b3ta newsletter 643. There's good stuff in 'ere from penguins to dub step to Freemen of the Land. You will like.
Read newsletter 643
published by rob on 21st Nov at 4pm
Challenge
Smoking
Smoking is dropping out of fashion, so that probably means it's cool again.

Spend the week coughing up pictures that show how awesome this deadly habit is.
See all 136 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 19th Nov at 10pm
Challenge
Climate Change
This week's challenge is all about messing with the weather. Give us Gene Kelly Singing in the snow and brighten up Rutger Hauer's Tears in the rain speech.
Challenge suggested by monkeon.
See all 49 images (open)
set by HappyToast on 13th Nov at 8am
Challenge
Big Mistakes
This weeks image challenge is to depict the biggest mistakes you can imagine. Show us stupid ideas and foolish endeavours, bonus points for photo evidence of your own dimwitted decisions.
See all 36 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 6th Nov at 7am
Question of the Week
Weddings Part II
Attending a wedding is like being handed a licence to act like a twat. Oh how I laughed when I sobered up and realised I'd nicked most of the plates and cutlery from the posh hotel lunch and those vague memories of stealthily exiting like a cat-burglar had in fact involved falling out of the hotel, knives and forks clattering onto the steps.

Tell us more of your wedding stories.
Read all 150 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 3rd Nov at 6pm
Challenge
Carry On....
This week we're going to apply the Carry on film treatment to as many other films as we can think of.
Think double entendres, awful jokes and bras flying off. ooh matron.
See all 111 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 30th Oct at 7am
Newsletter
B3ta newsletter issue number six hundred and forty two... Would it be cool if we just started the numbers back again from zero? It's a bit scary. Anyway, quality stuff this week includes taking the piss out of Cameron Carpenter, taking the geotags out of your data and taking potshots at a hapless conductor in a game inexplicably based on the 1812 Overture.
Read newsletter 642
published by rob on 24th Oct at 7pm
Question of the Week
Control Freaks
Peej writes, "My mate Tony's dad used to weigh the breakfast cereal in the morning to make sure everybody got an equal amount and the pack provided the exact amount of servings advertised on the packet. I learned from this that the recommended serving size on a cereal packet isn't enough to feed a sparrow."

Sound familiar? Tell us more.
Read all 59 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 24th Oct at 1pm
Challenge
New Religious Products
This week we want to see everyday products and general shop tat transformed in to religious giftware. Fill the shelves of the local church shop with exciting new stock.
See all 66 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 23rd Oct at 8am
Newsletter
B3ta Newsletter 641! A hat-trick of quality newsletter product! Douglas Adams, kittens, ukulele, music and the kitchen of the future!
Read newsletter 641
published by rob on 17th Oct at 6pm
Question of the Week
Silly Achievements
Happy Phantom writes, "Sometimes - by planning or happy accident - you achieve something with which you are quite pleased, but which makes little or no difference to the rest of the world.

"This morning, I woke up and spontaneously farted the opening three notes from The Frog Chorus."

What did YOU do?
Read all 121 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 16th Oct at 4pm
Challenge
Cakes in films
We're combining two of our favourite things again, cakes and films. Add Victoria Sponges, eclairs and Jaffa cakes to famous film scenes, adapt plots to be about baking and maybe re-enact some in your local Greggs.
See all 137 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 16th Oct at 8am
Newsletter
B3ta Newsletter 640! Yes, another newsletter out - and bloody hell if it isn't full of good stuff? Black Doctor Who, a new way of cooking pizza and a remake of Apocalypse Now with cuddly toys - PLUS your stories of landing face-down in shit!
Read newsletter 640
published by rob on 10th Oct at 4pm
Question of the Week
Nepotism
Ages ago Danishbacon suggested we ask about nepotism. As we weren't related, we ignored this.
Tell us your worst examples, or admit to the time you employed your cousin and he totally fucked the job up.
Read all 62 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 10th Oct at 2pm
Challenge
Useless Machines
This weeks challenge is to invent a wonderful machine that achieves nothing of merit at all. Hurry to your drawing board and draw up some cogs, pistons, bleepy bits and flanges and if possible animate them doing nothing.
See all 31 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 9th Oct at 8am
Question of the Week
Real Life Slapstick II
What's the best slapstick thing you've ever seen?
Have you witnessed someone walking into a lamp-post? A food fight? Someone clonked round the face with a frying pan? All your favourite moments please.
(suggested by social hand grenade)
Read all 87 stories (closed)
asked by chthonic on 5th Oct at 4pm
Newsletter
B3ta Newsletter 639 is available for your reading pleasure. Yes, it's been a while. Sorry we've been so rubbish and lazy - we promise from now on only to be rubbish and productive.
Read newsletter 639
published by rob on 3rd Oct at 3pm
Challenge
Victorians
Take a trip back in time to when men wore big hats, ladies wore massive skirts and people took photos of their dead children. It's Victorians this week, so lets visit their world of early photography and give it the photoshop treatment.
See all 88 images (closed)
set by HappyToast on 2nd Oct at 8am